You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner If...

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You know you are a real cheap wood burner if

you try to figure out how to get your multimeter to double as a moisture meter.
 
You know you're a wood burner when other kids at school ask your kids if your dad wants any firewood....;lol
 
.... the back of your wife's Expedition is filled with sap and little pieces of bark you cannot get out and your wife is pissed so she makes you pull each piece out by hand which causes an argument which leads to you sleeping on the couch so you can "watch the fire" while sweating to death... Just sayin' ;)
 
When there is not a wood stove, you've not owned. You guys know who you are, step forward...............
 
When Your wood has been c/s/s longer than than most of the neighbor hood kids have been on the planet!:cool:
 
...When you consider picking up a thousand pounds of rounds hauling them home, split them and stack for a year - a "Score".
 
...When you consider picking up a thousand pounds of rounds hauling them home, split them and stack for a year - a "Score".
And then go back for the rest of it, and then go back for the rest of it , and...........
 
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...When the propane company threatens to take their 500 gallon tank back.

when YOU threaten the propane company to get them to take their 500 gallon tank back! (by threaten I mean tell them if they don't come get it you're hooking it to your truck and hauling it out to the road for them-this works well, btw-very motivational for them apparently)
 
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When some sort of wood burning related implement is on your or your SO's Christmas list. Again.

When your neighbors ask if you're going to sell firewood after seeing your scrounge pile...and you're still adding to it.

When you hate going to other people's houses (that don't heat with wood) for dinner because it's too cold in there.

When it's hard to fall asleep without that flickering light (I love that we can see the stove from our bedroom)

When you try to figure out where a wood stove would fit at your place of work because it's too darn cold in there

When you envy the guy that rigged up the camera to watch his stove while at work because you want to as well

When you burn candles in your stove during the off season out of withdrawl

When you have nightly bonfires during the off season because you can't NOT have some fire
 
when YOU threaten the propane company to get them to take their 500 gallon tank back!

I wish - but I still need it for backup. I go away several weekends per winter and it is not uncommon for me to be away from home for 12 to 14 hrs at a time on any given work day. Gotta have the pane...
 
when YOU threaten the propane company to get them to take their 500 gallon tank back! (by threaten I mean tell them if they don't come get it you're hooking it to your truck and hauling it out to the road for them-this works well, btw-very motivational for them apparently)

Someone on here did that!
. . .but they moved it with tractor, IIRC.
Wish I could find the pic. . .
 
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When you say that you have "morning wood".........and you just mean that you have some firewood that you have to attend to in the morning.

And "playing with your wood" has a perfectly innocent connotation.
 
I wish - but I still need it for backup. I go away several weekends per winter and it is not uncommon for me to be away from home for 12 to 14 hrs at a time on any given work day. Gotta have the pane...

that's why we have 3 100# tanks here-well, that and hot water/cooking. They also supply a blue flame heater in the utility area and the backup VF in the dining room.



When you shop for a new vehicle with scrounging space in mind

And lastly....you need to replace your rear tires and struts because they are worn out from the weight of all of your scrounges
 
You know you're a real wood burner when...

...your kids are stuffing kindling in their backpacks on their way home from school.
 
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When you put your hand into the pocket of your newly washed jeans and still find wood chips...same goes for constantly knocking them out of your sneakers...
 
When township officials come over to count how many cords are on your property.
 
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