Evil Elm

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Ribcracker

New Member
Nov 21, 2014
19
Oxford, Michigan
I finally got the rest of that wicked tree down. I'd been eyeing it warily for weeks. It had shaken my confidence much like the time I was broadsided at an intersection. For several years I got the willies whenever driving past there. The intersection doesn't scare me anymore, but this tree still does.
Normally, when I fell a tree, I can drop it where I want it - like calling eight ball in the side pocket. But this one fooled me and I'm still not sure how. The mishap seemed to defy physics.
Since the dead elm was threatening the barn I thought it best to limb it out before the final felling. I was at the top of an extension ladder cutting a large limb above my head (a no no) that was leaning outward and should have fallen away from the tree, me, and the barn. But when I completed the cut, the branch bored straight down like a pile-driver, taking me with it. I briefly caught a glimpse of the ground rushing up and thought, 'This is going to be bad'. Unlike a cat, I twisted my body in order to land on my back. My hip took the brunt of the impact and my head took the secondary hit. Once I was able to open my eyes, I saw blue and green and Chris, who said, "Don't move!". So of course I moved my arms and legs and was relieved to find them still working.
I said, "Chris, I'm fine. I just want to lie here for a while".
"You're not fine. There's a big puddle of blood under your head."
Once she was sure I could remain conscious, she ran to the house and brought a towel for to hold against the wound.
I told the emergency doctor I thought the cut might be from the chainsaw but he said it was an impact laceration which happens when the energy of an impact needs to escape and opens the skin to release pressure, like what happens when you drop a melon on the ground. It splits.
He used a staple gun to close up the wound, x-rayed my neck and hip, and cat-scanned my brain. He poked around my abdomen checking for internal injuries and finally let me go home. I was amazed to have so little pain that night but by the next day, the chickens were home to roost.
One of the side effects of concussion is excessive sleeping. They told Chris to wake me every two hours, which she did for almost two days. I'm still sleeping a lot more than normal but things are healing very nicely. They say that accumulated head injuries take a toll on brain function. I've had more than my share and that may explain a lot.
I now shudder to think of how things might have gone and chalk up my good fortune to fools' luck.
And now for my next trick...
Well, I finally exacted my revenge on that elm by using my bucket saw to carve a bear from the stump. I had intended the bear to look fearsome but it ended up looking like Winnie the Pooh. So now that evil elm is destined to live with a humiliation similar to my own.
 
That's quite a story. I'm glad you survived to tell us about it.
 
Glad you are better. I keep taking stupid risks like that. So far the worst problems are having a heavy branch fall on the hood of my Kubota and a few jeans that have chainsaw rips in them.

I had a few tall trees too close to the high voltage power line and the local guy wanted $1,500. to drop it so I brought in an big excavator. I cut it part way through then he pushed it in the right direction with the bucket. Down in 10 min.
 
Ouch, be careful out there!

PS: You will see elm's second evil side when you try to split it.
 
I keep taking stupid risks like that. So far the worst problems are having a heavy branch fall on the hood of my Kubota and a few jeans that have chainsaw rips in them.
Ya, I dodged the bullet again.
I've lived with a fireplace or wood stove since 1973 and use my chainsaws to feed them so I've surely processed a hundred trees.
During that time I've fallen out of them, had the saw rip my pants open leaving only a scratch on my leg, tripped on brush and fallen hard beside the spinning chain, had tensioned branches snap back knocking me off my feet, and had huge limbs pin me to the ground because they didn't fall where I thought they would. I used to think that chainsaw chaps were for sissies. I use them now. You can only press your luck so long before the law of averages rears its head. I think a hardhat is in my future, too.
 
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Not really, I must have made an improper cut. By my reckoning the limb should have fallen out and away but it came straight down.
I always study a tree before I make cuts and envision how it will behave. But every now and then, I get it wrong and think, "What Happened?".
 
Man, get better and don't beat yourself up over the tree.
 
Couple months back got knocked flat on my backside, unfortunately the landing zone was full of splits lying every which way, by a 18" x30" round that decided to become a pair of anti aircraft munitions. The perfectly centered impact area of 1/3 of my 6ft length effectively interrupted all types of anatomical bio functions and of course the landing zone some 6 ft to my immediate rear was less than ideal spot for repose particularly aided by the kinetic force transfer of the split combined with the earths gravitational pull. When I came too I was pleased to note that all parts were still connected and functioned although some what haphazardly initially. I also noted the there were several more orifices then the normal 9 and that most seemed to have bad valves as all were leaking although none were shooting geysers. Extracting myself from the clutches of the pile of splits revealed that a few minor rearrangements of my anatomy had occurred that would need to be addressed before proceeding to much further. Primarily that my right shoulder was out of joint - a situation that I could correct but required some assistance of a relatively large non moving vertical object. The door frame of the truck served nicely for the purpose. By this time an acquaintance had stooped by and was gracious enough to help plug a few of the newly acquired orifices that were located in less than accessible areas for those of normal human range of motion. Fast forward my revenge on the round has been completed by dismemberment of the two halves into many smaller less intimidating pieces and seem to be residing peacefully in the stacks out back.
 
Now I know why I only cut from the ground. Glad you are OK, I always wear a safety harness when I am deer hunting 25 feet up, I hear too many stories of people breaking their backs or worse. Glad you are OK. With a name like Ribcracker I guess you are used to this stuff happening. Life is too short as it is, be as safe as you can and leave the high limbs to the acrobatic experts.
 
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