You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

You look forward to cleaning your ash pan.

You can't help but rebuild a friend's fire so it burns properly.

You claim to know nothing compared to the blow-hards here on hearth.com. (I think we've all learned a thing or two from each other. Thanks!)

Small first degree burns start showing up on your fingers , hands or arms this time of year.

You can't wait to clean the chimney, just to see how little creosote you've generated.


You've noticed your wood piles dwindling and have started eying the "old" oak furniture in the dining room.


You change the way the couch faces so that you can see the fire better than the TV.


Your cat decides to alternate between her litter box and your ash bucket again.


You have box fans in every hallway, door opening and living area.

You look at how often the neighbors furnace chimney is blowing smoke and you smile (cuz your furnce has not kicked on since november).

The neighbor kid comes over to play with your kid and says: " gee, it's really hot in here".

After a snow storm (about 8 inches last night) the first thing you dig out is the wood pile and the path leading to it.

The dog knows your going out in the yard when you grab the maul (and she grabs her frisbee cuz it's play time in between wacks).

You keep firewood in the back of your truck for added weight/traction, instead of adding it to the pile (unless your running out).

When you don't care if the windows are open and it's 30 out side.
When your family think 75 is kind of chilly.

you become so obsessed with a certaiin type of wood that you are willing to hike through the woods for hours looking for it, then uproot a specimen, toss it over your shoulder, and carry it a mile on your back to your home or vehicle.

you ain't worried about running out of wood cuz there so much of it stacked out back.

you keep throwing stuff on top the pile to keep the tarp from blowin' off.

you can't stay awake past 8:30 cuz it's 86 degrees in the great room.

you have a marital argument when she mentions turning the heat pump on to warm the back bedroom.

you're out sawin' up stuff that blew down just a day ago.

you never worry about drainin' the fuel in your chainsaw to put it away for storage.

you can't decide between oak, walnut, or hickory for the overnight burn.

people at work make fun of you with firewood/woodstove comments.

you can't keep the pot on top the stove full of water....seems it's always dry

you know your a Real wood burner when:

Your hair is full of chain sawdust & wood splinters from cutting & splitting.

Your yard is full of holes with ashes in them.

Your drive way is full of pallets waiting to be cut apart.

Your back yard has 3 wood sheds in it.

You would rather split wood than snowblow.

All you want to talk about is stoves.

You ask all your friends to save up their old newspapers for you to lite the stove with.

You drive down the road,constantly on the lookout for fallen trees or disgarded lumber.

You go to the dump with an empty trailer and come back with a trailer full of wood.

You drive a station wagon with a gassed up chain saw in it, just in case you meet a fallen tree.

A pair of leather work gloves lasts less than a week.

You learn to sharpen your own chain saw chain yourself.

You know you're a wood burner when:

You notice all of the fallen trees hiding in copses whenever you drive somewhere, and wonder who owns that tract of land so that you may ask permission to remove them.

You grimace when you come home because no one was at home to run the fire, so the furnace actually ran.

You see the dire warnings of rising heating costs and just shrug.

You can recognize the type of wood that you're splitting by the smell and grain alone.

When: it snows and your primary concern is how will you get the path to the woodpile open, your wife learns how to keep the "THING" running and it makes you smile, you have 20 assorted stoves from 1850 thru 2007 production, your too old to cut it but you gladly pay the local guy who does, you spend as much time looking at the outside chimney output as you do the stove itself, you can't wait to see who is up to what on the forum, you know "stovies" coast to coast, finally, when you have made your own specialized tools for the stove because no one else makes them like that.

When your neighbor complains about his monthly oil bill of over $500 and you feel you shouldn't mention yours outta respect.

When you hear about "Global Warming" and think it's a project to provide everyone on earth with a woodstove.

When you pull the sleeve of your shirt down over you hand to use instead of a stove glove to open the piping hot front door of your stove.

When you are invited to a party because you are the only gal who knows how to start a proper fire.

When you notice the woodstoves in the background of scenes in movies.
When you notice the piles of scrap lumber near construction sites.

When you're hoping it will get colder so you can see what your stove can really do.

When your favorite conversations involve primary air, east west vs north south, log size and type, etc.

Your wood inventory is approaching 25% or more of Eric's.

When your wood piles are stacked so they are an aesthetic addition to your yard.

Your friends ask you if your house is nice and warm today due to the stove.

when you run home to check out this freakin site everyday (to the point wifey was thinkin it was a porn site)
when you celebrate someone getting their first fire
when you take pictures to show everyone your fire!! let alone your stove
when you wake up the first thing you think about is " i wonder how the stove is"
when you don't go to bed at night until you check on your stove
when you run to tell all your friends to get a wood stove and check tis site out

.... your burning a PE :coolsmirk:

..when you don't sweat the electric/gas bill coming in the mail.

you look at the inside and outside thermometers at least 10 times a day

When you get home from work and first head to the wood shed to grab a arm load of wood to take inside the house.

enough ..enough lets start a Burners anon group!!

You know you’re a wood burner when:

your neighbor with new windows says he only spent $3500 to heat last year and you get ill.
you hear the "tick" of the thermostat for your furnace and the furr stands up on the back of your neck.
you get home from work and it isn't 75F MINIMUM and you ask the wife "fire go out?" before you say "hello".
you drive down the road and can identify every species of fallen timer and calculate the worth/risk of it's retrieval.
you have a get together at a friends house and you are freezing your a$s off because he keeps it at 68F.
you see somebody's wood pile and critique his stacking abilities.
you can put a wood split in your hand and know when it was split.
you can tell if a fellow wood burner has a top loader or side loader based on the burn marks on his arms/hands.
you see an ash pile and know how much wood they guy burns per heating season.