You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

oops, double post...


well, while i am here...

you know you are a wood burner when you get so excited about making another post on hearth.com that you hit the button twice!

CowboyAndy said:

You know you are a wood burner when you tell you wife that you are just going to the basement to "put some more wood on the fire", she rolls her eyes and you come back upstairs 2 1/2 hours later because you were "making sure they caught".

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So, then, she still hasn't discovered the secret room down there with the wide screen & beer fridge in it? You must have done some camoflage job on that door. Rick

When you calll your self a controlled pyromaniac!

ScottF said:

When you seriously consider asking your wife if you can build a huge fire and perform a do it yourself creamation on her corpse in the event she happens to go before you.

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Really quite disgusting, Scott. I would expect more from you. You misspelled "cremation". C'mon, man, get a grip. Rick

OK how about,

when you are sitting nice and cozy around your wood stove with your family on a blustery night and your pets and everybody is telling each other how special their days were and how lucky they are to have such a hard working dad that cuts, splits and hauls wood so selflessly to keep them warm.

Is that one better.

Chill out man- read what fossil said "I would expect more from you. You misspelled “cremation”. C’mon, man, get a grip. Rick "

On this subject- a buddy of mine from NC asked me to make his cremation urn for him. he's not sick in any way, just that he knows he'll be cremated and then it'd be too late to ask someone he knows to make one.

AHH Gutcha , Im just a little slow, didnt really get that one . Sorry Rick Thats what happens when they let just anyone like me join a site.

I forgot to use a smiley, that's probably what threw you off into the unlikely realm of believing I was actually being serious. Rick

Sorry, Kenny, that one really was over the line, and had to go. Rick

fossil said:

Sorry, Kenny, that one really was over the line, and had to go. Rick

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:red: My sincerest apologies Captain. It really isn't my style to make light of anothers sexual preferances. %-P

On this subject- a buddy of mine from NC asked me to make his cremation urn for him. he’s not sick in any way, just that he knows he’ll be cremated and then it’d be too late to ask someone he knows to make one.

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So did you make him one??? Sounds like a reasonable request if you want to be cremated. Just curious



Being a furniture maker ( hobbyist)I have had inquires about building a custom coffin for people. I just couldn't do it . It would be way to creepy to me. I think an urn would be less creepy because it could symbolize other things unlike a coffin.

I'll be making probably 4 of them for the next firing (early December) and he can have his pick (the rest will be cookie/dog cookie jars). He said that since I know him, it would mean more to have me do it. He knows where and who will spread his ashes etc. I think it'll mean a lot to his DW as well- she's a fan of handmade pottery (NC has a long proud tradition of woodfired pottery) and appreciated the moonshine jug I sent her.

Kept offering me money and such, but I told him it'd be an honor and he could buy me a beer when we see eachother next (not often). Also sending him something to send to his daughter in new zealand.

I guess I can see someone's reservations on making an urn or a coffin- I was pretty touched that he asked. Now there are some people that want their ashes turned into a pottery glaze. That I'd have to think about a bit more

Maybe a coffin would be different. I want a plain pine box that will compost with me PDQ.

You know you're a woodburner when your wife in the next room thinks you're looking at a porn website from the oohs and aaaahs your making and she come to see that your looking at the pics of everyone's wood pile.

When your wife who was always hot even if it was 20 degrees out side and she was in a bikini tells you the house is a little chilly and you need to build a fire. You look at the thermostat and it is 68 in the house, but she is used to 74 now.

You know you're a wood burner when.... You call home to check up on the wife and kids, and only ask how the is stove doin? (Ooops forgot about the wife and kids) :cheese:

When jokes about "Wood" take on a whole new meaning...

When your neighbors ask if they can buy some wood because they think you have a firewood business!! :cheese:

When you transfer splinters to your girlfriend while rubbing her back!

When you laugh at your natural gas bill in February!

If your freezing when it gets down to 70* in the house!

it's 20 outsdie and your T-stat is set at 60 but your home is 82 :lol:

Your "wood burning obsession", according to your wife, has caused you to seek professional help. While sitting in his office you check his coffee table with your moisture meter.

When viewing your house on google earth, your wood pile resembles the great wall of China.

You know you're a serious woodburner when...

You wake up out of a deep sleep at 4AM, drag yourself out of a nice warm bed and go downstairs to feed the "baby", all cause you heard the furnace kick on. Your youngest child is 9 and you have been doing this for years.

You go outside in the morning to get the paper and listen carefully for chainsaws in the distance. Upon hearing this, you drop the paper and grab the keys to the truck to go investigate.

You're pissed at your neighbors cause they have nicer looking firewood than you do and only have an open fireplace to burn it in.

You tell your wife that you will be in the back yard "playing with your wood" and she just nods her head.

... you might be a (wood) redneck. - Jeff Foxworthy

Chris

You kinda feel bad about adding a split to your fire because " it's a pretty piece of wood"

pyro68 said:

when your wife is in bed waiting, and your stuck on hearth.com trying to figure out if that 5th thermometer for your stove will benefit, and where to place it on the stove. . . .

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I guess I should really go upstairs now...

PS - the thermometer goes on the top.

If it fits in the stove, it's pretty. If it doesn't fit in the stove it's ugly...until you make it pretty. A little cosmetic wood surgery is all it takes. Rick

For my fellow Canucks - When you get the Canadian Tire flyer, and only look for axes, not car parts and other tools (PS - Moisture meters and laser thermometers are half price this week)