Family members and your woodpile...

I'd suggest that you discuss it openly right up front. Create a separate pile somewhere - make sure it is clear which pile it is - that is for firepits if you want to be generous. Then set the rules "anything in that pile is fair game, the rest is for heating my home."

You could offer to have him help you do the work for additional wood as he desires. I don't mind sharing the work and giving a portion of the wood generated during the work time. This of course means "when we work you walk away with what you get for that work session" not "you work with me one day then it is open season on the stacks".

I have a neighbor who asked for some wood a few weeks ago. They are nice enough folks and have put up with my stacks (actually on their property, long story there). Anyway, I gave them a bunch of chunks etc for their firepit, but was sure to make it clear that if they need more I would be willing to see what I can find but did point out that the pile they had expected me to pull from was reserved to heat this winter and others were 'not ready yet and for future winters'. On the bright side they know how much work I've done and seem to appreciate it.

Be up front with him and tell him, hopefully he understands. Most likely being family he will keep on taking.


zap

I agree with you . . . and I have all kinds of wood and am now 1-2 years ahead.

I purposefully keep some of my junk wood and toss it aside for use in the fire pit when folks are visiting . . . or when someone wants me to bring some wood while camping.

I worked hard for the primo wood I have . . . and in your case as you really need that good wood for your stove.

My advice . . . explain to your nephew, brother in law, etc. that your stove is a newer stove and really needs super-dry wood and you have a limited amount which you are relying on for heat this winter and you would rather no one just take the wood without asking . . . but add that you have some pine and other wood that would burn fine in an outdoor fire pit and have plenty of it that he could take and use anytime if asked . . . this way you explain the importance of the seasoned wood, but you're showing that you also don't mind helping them out.

Let those two bundles go, but be sure to tell him that two bundles isn't near enough, so make sure he takes as much as he wants from your "scrap" pile. ask him how much he thinks he'll burn in it, because you can probably help him scrounge up some more. Make sure to mention somewhere in there how you need the nice pieces for your stove. If you pretty much talk like it would be crazy to burn your stove wood in a fire pit, then eventually he'll get the hint that it IS crazy to burn stove wood in a fire pit, lol.

I would just tell him nicely, because he is family...

“Stay the F@#$ Away From My Wood”

but on the sincere note, i would create a pile for him and tell him that it is for his taking.. but the other stuff is to heat the house... make him feel sorry for you, tell him times are hard and you had to cutback so you will be burning wood to heat your house as much as possible (hope you are not a millionaire so he will believe you)
to be honest, i started burning to save money, (oil hit $4+ that year) then became addicted... now i save a ton of money, enjoy what i do and have an addiction to firewood! anytime time i see downed trees or cut wood my wife says i look "high" lol!

While I do not know the specifics of your situation we run into a similar dynamic with our garden.

We have a huge garden which word gets out each year that we have extras. We sell some, we use lots of the produce on a fresh basis and we preserve three freezers and a pantry full.

Our personal rule has become....

"Oh! You want some vegetables?..... No problem.... Come out anytime and we can show you what is available to pick and you can have at it."

This has "weeded" out the beggars quickly and simply.

With family and friends and their need for backyard firepit wood.... Unless I give it to to them as an intentional gift I am more than willing to sell a little bit or better yet....

Come on out and get some wood with me in the bush.

There is lots of dead smaller branches and downed trees that do fine in a backyard firepit.

In simple terms tell them to get off their donkey and help out and you will share.

My father-in-law is my biggest mooch when it comes to firewood. He burns in his garage periodically and is a complete ignorant turd as far as what is seasoned, safe, ect. His idea of seasoned wood is whatever he finds to rot under a tarp in yis year. He has a really crappy vogelzand boxwood stove, refuses to sweep his chimney, and seriously brags about burning anything and everything. The one advantage he has is a crazy long piece will fit in his stove. He also will burn the ugglies. So after a few years of "sharing" my nice stuff and getting nothing in return two years ago I told him if he wants to continue to burn my wood he has to work for it. He helps stacking now here and there and gladly takes the ugglies and stuff I just don't want. Everybody wins. Now if I could just get him to take his daughter back...I'd give him all the wood he'd ever need.

WoodScavenger71 said:

Hey all, long time lurker, first time poster here, I've learned alot through reading posts in my spare time. I maybe not one of the (wood) heavy hitters I see that post here, but just got a Avalon Rainer insert installed this past summer to replace my smoke dragon fireplace, and to supplement my oil heat.

Anyway, something happened this past Friday that I wanted to get an opinion on. My wife had her parents over to help clean-up the yard, do weeding, etc. this past Friday. I get home from a long day and see the BIL is also over over my house with the niece & nephew. Hear my nephew say to my BIL "You going to tell Uncle you took his wood?" He mention he helped himself to some of my 1-1/2 seasoned cord of wood, and it turns out it was about 2 bundles of wood (like you see in the supermarkets.) The problem that I have is that he lives with my in-laws and the wood is for an outdoor firepit he just put together after sitting in the garage for 8 years. My supply is for this upcoming season, cut, split, stacked and coming from a few dead trees on my property, or salvaged from the side of the road, end of the driveways of others who dont want it. Lately, I try to put aside any pine, punky, or rotted wood that I cant burn aside for him, when I'm around.

My question is am I being stingey by telling him in the future not to take anything at all, unless I give it to him? I dont want to cause a riff with him, and understand its family, but its not like theres plenty of junk wood to use for a firepit in our area. Just wondering if theres any 'code of honor' with your own woodpiles you work hard on...

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Welcome to the forum WoodScavenger71.

My take on this might be a bit different from others.

First, if the BIL was there to help with some work then I would not mind giving him some wood. However, there is a huge difference between giving and taking.

Around my place we gladly share things with neighbors and even some relatives...but it is us that makes the decisions on what we give and how much of anything along with who to give to. For example, we regularly will supply a poor family with wood to heat their homes. We regularly give fruit and vegetables to friends, neighbors, relatives and others.

We had a case many moons ago when we gave some strawberries to a family who we knew could not really afford to buy any. We were very happy to give them a generous amount of berries. However, for several days then they sent their son to ask for more berries and the way it was worded made it sound as if it was our duty to supply them with all they needed. They even would like to make some jam... They did not receive any more berries from us.

On the other hand, we've helped folks with some things, like firewood, and found out later they needed more help but would not ask. We gladly gave more. We actually seek out folks that could use some help and enjoy doing it. However, their are always some folks who are just takers and in the end they never really appreciate what they are given. It does not take long to jank out the weeds in the garden nor does it take long to weed out the takers.

In this case, if it happened to me I would immediately tell BIL to bring the wood back or pay for it. He would then know that if I had some wood I would not mind giving away that he would be welcome to it, but that I would determine what wood he gets. On the other hand, should BIL be willing to help put up some of next year's wood....

I wish you luck with dealing with this problem but do something right away lest this get out of hand really quick and then it could get nasty. I doubt you want that to happen.

I get this from time to time with people about everything i work hard to produce: wood, vegetables and eggs (okay, the chickens work harder to produce the eggs than i do, but you get the point). I just had a friend last week comment on how many tomatoes i had and how he "should come over and pick some". I told him i would put any extras i have aside, but that there wouldn't be many since i can as much as I can. The wood is the worst though, I always have anywhere from 15 to cords on my property in various stages of processing. In the spring one of my good friends told me he was going to get a wood stove because i have so much "extra" wood. He couldn't understand how none of it was extra.

I must complain about always looking for wood because nobody really asks for any. Had a BIL ask for some camp fire wood once, I told him to take it from my ugly bin, I guess he wanted pretty wood because he never took any and went and bought wood!!??!! It did require some minor use of a wheelbarrow to get out and he's not one to brake a sweat for work.

I'd tell him to go scrounge his own wood and to leave my fuel supply alone. or if you have some twigs and crap laying around that you're not gonna use let him throw that in his fire pit. no way id let someone take from my pile. hell i wouldnt even sell it after all the work to get it ready.

Your BIL just doesn't have a clue what seasoned wood (even a couple bundles worth) means to stove burners. I know I didn't before this year. Let him know, don't worry about it this time, and like the others have said offer to help him scrounge.

I think the BIL is brazen, and stepped over his bounds. Especially if he just snatched up a couple bundles and didn't even ask. That's ignorant. I'd be certain to tell him right up front that he should keep his friggin' hands off my private property, period. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Real simple:

"Dude, you took the s**t wood. I've got the killer wood for ya, pine".

Then have him return the wood and give him pine.

Welcome to the forums. Nobody here knows you or your family like you know you and your family. Follow your heart. Do/say what you feel is the best to do/say in the context of your relationship with your family. If you think you need some advice/guidance beyond what your heart says, look first to family members whose counsel you trust and respect. Those are my thoughts, nothing more. Rick

We have more experience than your family for this task.
That's probably why you came here for help.

Got nothin' to do with wood. It's got everything to do with family. Rick

fossil said:

Got nothin' to do with wood. It's got everything to do with family. Rick

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Beg to differ...

He took the wood cause he doesn't live the wood lifestyle we do.

Family Party Scenario:
A kid who's never had a beer turns 21 and goes to the family party.
There are coolers at the party full of beverages from the host.
Unaware of the party protocol the kid goes into the hosts fridge and takes his finest stock.
You see the kid and say; "Hey John, let me get you a real cold one and you swap the private stock for a one down deep in the cooler."
This approach doesn't embarrass the kid, he learns the culture and you save your stock.
It's all in the approach and method you employ.

I was an experienced host / drinker so I can speak from experience because I lived the lifestyle.
Most support groups are filled with very experienced folks.
You can apply this logic to your finest wood stock.

Tell him if takes wood again with out asking. You'll kill him. Look him dead in the eye and have ax in hand at his neck!