Craigslist LOL!

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kmmuellr

New Member
Nov 23, 2009
46
SE Michigan
Saw this and immediately thought of you guys!

K

http://annarbor.craigslist.org/for/2027027206.html

Wanted: Firewood that doesn't suck (Ann Arbor)

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Date: 2010-10-26, 3:38PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I've had a terrible time finding firewood that isn't junk. I burned 3 cords last year from 3 different guys. The first was great, but he went out of business. The second was ok, but I thought I could do better. The third guy sold absolute garbage that needed an extra 8 months of seasoning before it was ready to burn. I'm tired of this. I don't want to deal with people who chopped down a tree 3 months ago and are now telling me it's been drying for 18-24 months. That might work on most people who wouldn't know seasoned wood if it bit them in the ass, but I know what a nice clean, hot fire feels and smells like.

So here's the deal:
I'll pay $250 for a cord of wood delivered to my place in Ann Arbor, which is more than I see other people charging this year. I'll pay a bit more for stacking, plus you can my drink beer while you do it. BUT! I'm going to stick a moisture meter in a few pieces and see what it reads. If it's wet, I'm going to send you home to unload the wood. If it's mostly around 20% and all under 25% moisture content, I will buy 2-3 cords from you every year until one of us dies, you quit selling wood, or I burn my house down with an overly ambitious fire. This won't be a problem, because as a responsible seller of firewood I bet you have a moisture meter anyway.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I don't know what else to do. I like wood heat, but I don't have room on my tiny city lot to have gigantic piles of green logs sitting around waiting to be usable. It's literally easier to find medical grade marijuana in this town than to find someone selling good firewood.

Anyone willing to work with me on this? Shoot me an email.
 
LOL :)

Maybe offer up some of the medical grade marijuana instead of the brews.
 
Now there is a straight shooter. Kudos to you, my friend! I'll fire one up in your honor (the stove, that is - pot started to freakin me out a long time ago. When I was younger, I was a bong with feet - guess I'm just too old, now) :)
 
Funny, I saw this posted a few weeks ago. Perhaps the medical grade would have enticed me to bring him some wood. I just didn't understand. It seems that even with a small lot that you could hold at least a cord of wood from year to year.
 
To bad you are not here in Wi, Sheboygan to be exact. They are shipping it in and out with the small engines from Tecumseh distribution plant. Or maybe you might be interested in a little spelunking, Huge tunnel down San Diego way crossing the border.
 
LOL Smart Person There!
 
kmmuellr said:
Saw this and immediately thought of you guys!

K

http://annarbor.craigslist.org/for/2027027206.html

Wanted: Firewood that doesn't suck (Ann Arbor)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-10-26, 3:38PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I've had a terrible time finding firewood that isn't junk. I burned 3 cords last year from 3 different guys. The first was great, but he went out of business. The second was ok, but I thought I could do better. The third guy sold absolute garbage that needed an extra 8 months of seasoning before it was ready to burn. I'm tired of this. I don't want to deal with people who chopped down a tree 3 months ago and are now telling me it's been drying for 18-24 months. That might work on most people who wouldn't know seasoned wood if it bit them in the ass, but I know what a nice clean, hot fire feels and smells like.

So here's the deal:
I'll pay $250 for a cord of wood delivered to my place in Ann Arbor, which is more than I see other people charging this year. I'll pay a bit more for stacking, plus you can my drink beer while you do it. BUT! I'm going to stick a moisture meter in a few pieces and see what it reads. If it's wet, I'm going to send you home to unload the wood. If it's mostly around 20% and all under 25% moisture content, I will buy 2-3 cords from you every year until one of us dies, you quit selling wood, or I burn my house down with an overly ambitious fire. This won't be a problem, because as a responsible seller of firewood I bet you have a moisture meter anyway.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I don't know what else to do. I like wood heat, but I don't have room on my tiny city lot to have gigantic piles of green logs sitting around waiting to be usable. It's literally easier to find medical grade marijuana in this town than to find someone selling good firewood.

Anyone willing to work with me on this? Shoot me an email.


I would write Mr Kevin a nice short letter.

Kevin I appreciate your need for good firewood and some that is within a good moisture reading so that it will burn good. But I have an even better deal for you.

You burn 2-3 cords of wood per year and would welcome future buy/sell orders. Because I do not plan on cashing out in the near future perhaps we could do business for many years. However, I would also propose we alter the situation just a little.

Because I ove perhaps 100 miles or more from your place, I have no intention of making a delivery. However, if you wish to come to my place, you are more than welcome to bring your moisture meter because although we are serious wood burners, we do not own one of those gadgets.

We have no need of any marijuana, medical or otherwise, that will not be in the equation. The dryness of the wood will be though. You will be welcome and encouraged to use your moisture meter on any or all of our splits.

With the need of only 2 or 3 cords of wood per winter I am sure you would not have any problem finding a suitable vehicle for hauling this wood and I will assure you will get more wood than you think you are purchasing. I will even supply you with some dry kindling.

You have offered $250 per cord split, dried and delivered and will even offer more for stacking. Here is my proposition: I will sell you the wood for a discount of $50 per cord (and possibly more) for this dry wood and will make sure you get more than you pay for. I will even assist in loading the wood for you for no extra charge.

If you wish to take me up on this offer, kindly send me a PM so we can get your wood before the cold air really hits.

Good luck to you in this year's wood burning.

Keep smiling!
Dennis
Chesaning, MI
 
I shot him an email and offered to help him out. Never heard back.
 
Backwoods Savage said:
I would write Mr Kevin a nice short letter.

Kevin I appreciate your need for good firewood and some that is within a good moisture reading so that it will burn good. But I have an even better deal for you.

You burn 2-3 cords of wood per year and would welcome future buy/sell orders. Because I do not plan on cashing out in the near future perhaps we could do business for many years. However, I would also propose we alter the situation just a little.

Because I ove perhaps 100 miles or more from your place, I have no intention of making a delivery. However, if you wish to come to my place, you are more than welcome to bring your moisture meter because although we are serious wood burners, we do not own one of those gadgets.

We have no need of any marijuana, medical or otherwise, that will not be in the equation. The dryness of the wood will be though. You will be welcome and encouraged to use your moisture meter on any or all of our splits.

With the need of only 2 or 3 cords of wood per winter I am sure you would not have any problem finding a suitable vehicle for hauling this wood and I will assure you will get more wood than you think you are purchasing. I will even supply you with some dry kindling.

You have offered $250 per cord split, dried and delivered and will even offer more for stacking. Here is my proposition: I will sell you the wood for a discount of $50 per cord (and possibly more) for this dry wood and will make sure you get more than you pay for. I will even assist in loading the wood for you for no extra charge.

If you wish to take me up on this offer, kindly send me a PM so we can get your wood before the cold air really hits.

Good luck to you in this year's wood burning.

Keep smiling!
Dennis
Chesaning, MI

Just to clarify, Dennis, the post from CL isn't mine!

If I start running low on wood this year, I'll drop you a line the next time I'm heading through Chesaning though!

K
 
I put a moisture meter in some medicinal herb and it came back with a reading of 4:20. Is this ready to burn?
 
chumby said:
I put a moisture meter in some medicinal herb and it came back with a reading of 4:20. Is this ready to burn?

Does it look like little tiny green pine cones, all sticky on your fingers? I'd come out of retirement for that kind of bud.
 
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