Joefrompa: The danger that you inherit, with a wood stove, is real. The folks in here are genuine in their desire to help anyone understand the RIGHT way, and the SAFEST way to keep our families and homes from harm.
Listen to the advice given, and don't take shortcuts. The danger is minimized dramatically by being a bit "anal" about the attention paid to the details.
Anything you add as an accelerant has to have control limits. Even paper, fire starters, ........heck, even the wood itself! As BrotherBart has said, .......you don't need an accelerant to get the fire going well. If you DO choose to use an accelerant, it needs to be as safe a product as possible, to avoid costly mistakes. Even a product like Fatwood, is a condensed fuel-filled danger, unless used wisely.
I too have some trouble sleeping sometimes, even when I know that I'm doing everything by the numbers. Yet I know my system is sound, and my practices are within the parameters that keep things as safe as possible, and I have to rest with that. When I get in my car, I can drive "by the book" and STILL something ELSE can happen.
The real answer then, I suppose, is to be as meticulous about your practices, and trust yourself. If others are involved in the maintenance of the fire, make sure THEY fully understand the "how" and the "why" of it. Let them show you that they truly understand and can demonstrate that.
Finally, remember what all this is about. The cost savings, the love of natural things, ...........don't let yourself live in fear. (I'm preaching to myself now, as well). Don't let the fear of the danger, take away from you the value of the practice. Respect the danger and make every effort to negate as much of that danger as you can. If that's not possible, with your current equipment or whatever, then I'd question whether or not you should be burning wood, at this time, or at All (you, or me, or anyone ELSE in the same scenario).
-Soupy1957