All hail ye Blaze King owners.

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Rockey

Minister of Fire
Dec 18, 2007
811
SW Ohio
We all heard the Chuck Norris jokes, but they pale in comparison to the Blaze Kings'

I do not own a Blaze King and I may never, my IQ is only in triple digits.

All EPA stoves live vicariously through Blaze King stoves.

Hell once had a near Blaze King experience. Once.

God owns a Blaze King. Started the fire over 15 years ago. The fire recently went out. God hasn't worked up the courage to tell the blaze King.

The tears of Blaze King owners can cure cancer. Too bad they never cry.

Upon purchasing a Blaze King all owners are gifted with the ability to speak French in Russian.
 
Today's final Jeopardy answer is "Fisherman, golfers, politicians and Blaze King owners".
 
Kneel !
 
The Big Bang wasn't an explosion, it was just a Blaze King re-load.

A Blaze King NEVER run out of fuel, it merely gets lonely and holds its breath.

If you take the ash from a blaze king stove and toss it to the 4 winds, you have just prevented global warming.
 
BK start their own fires by rubbing two ice cubes together.
 
The last BK Reload of the year has to be sometime in March so the stove has time to cool before Summer.
 
Season's don't change, but inexperienced owners sometimes overfire/underfire their Blaze Kings.
 
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a BK stove. Now his foot will burn forever.
 
BrotherBart said:
Today's final Jeopardy answer is "Fisherman, golfers, politicians and Blaze King owners".
HAHAHAHAHA
 
It has been proven that there is a high level of Plutonium used in BK construction.
 
If this is appropriate:



So too is it to name a blaze king: Princess


Additionally:

oxymoron

ox·y·mo·ron

–noun, a figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in “cruel kindness†or “to make haste slowly†or "a blaze king princess."


pen
 
If a Blaze King owner slaps you in the face, you have an uncontrollable urge to thank him.
 
If you were to put two Blaze King stoves in the same house, facing each other from opposite sides of the room, immediately there would be a spontaneous combustion resulting in the ignition of the atmosphere and extinction of all life on the planet. But it wouldn't end there, because there would be no one there to close down the stove and it would keep getting hotter, hotter untill the Earth's matter exploded in the birth of a new Sun, forcing the old sun and planets into a rotation around a new center of the solar system. Thus, life would start over.

Untill it happens again........
 
BK's cant be blamed for global warming. Its more a universal event.
 
Daniel 3:20 And he commanded the most mighty men that were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and to cast them into the Blaze King. And to set the thermostat on 3 and engage the cat.
 
The US Patent and Trademark Office is considering the issuance of its first patent defying the law of conservation of energy because there is no other way to account for the amount of BTUs produced by a Blaze King on one load of wood.
 
All fires have admitted to attempting to stop drop and roll once inside a BK.
 
I love it! Can't help but notice the number of englander 30 owners who commented.. Dollar for Dollar you guys may be on to something.. But I have to admit "when its right, its right"..

Jason
 
jtb51b said:
I love it! Can't help but notice the number of englander 30 owners who commented.. Dollar for Dollar you guys may be on to something.. But I have to admit "when its right, its right"..

Jason

I have to admit that a little "low and slow" would be nice right about now. It is snowing but the temps are in the high twenties. So with the night load rolling it is hot in this joint. I could stand it to be a little cooler. Blaze King territory.
 
Trees grow up, because they think the Sun is a Blaze King.
 
If a Blaze King stood alone in the forest, would a tree still burn for 36 hours with nobody there?
 
Petrified wood is what happens when a tree has a nightmare about ending up in a Blaze King.
 
north of 60 said:
AHHHHH Cmon you guys. Is that all you got? This reminds me of kindergarten, EXCEPT the the little tykes did a better job. :lol:
I get wood just thinking about a BlazeKing Princess Ultra. Got any pics?
 
In order to make a Blaze King Princess, you need to start with 1,000 magic frogs.
 
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