house is only 12 years old, im thinking negative pressure, also the unit is on the lower floor , probably below the zero pressure line in the house, little response from the draft control, slow starting , all are signs of negative pressure
joty, try cracking open a window in close proximity to the stove about 5-10 minutes before starting the unit, see if the unit pulls better and lights more readily. if it does better , and doesnt smoke back at you , the problem is "negative pressure"
negative pressure occurs when a house does not allow air into the structure as fast as devices such as chimneys , bathroom vents , range hoods and clothes dryers (to name a few) remove air. this causes the house to develop a lower air pressure inside in relation to outside (kind of a mild vacuum effect) opening a window or door to outside releaves this vacuum buildup allowing the house to then release air readily. newer houses are built specifically to hold heat in, in doing so they make life harder on the chimney , which wants to draw, but is impeded by the house simply not wanting to let the air out as replacement air is not leaking in.
if this test fire with the window open does show a better performance in the fire and reduced "smokeback" when the stove is reloaded, an outside air intake (or OAK kit) would go a long way toward solving your problem (assuming the unit can accept one, and that it can be installed readily into the current installation) if not , the other solution may be to install a free air vent such as this one
http://www.condar.com/asv.html this by the way is a great site for info about tight houses, a good read.
i hope you find this helpful , and i would be happy to discuss this issue with you here if you wish to question me about it further