I was sure hoping you were joking as I was reading along! I almost got chills when I seen the picture of the ivy bush! I haven't had it in a long time but when I get it my face fits your description perfectly. I always tell everyone I looked like the kid Rocky from Mask or my dad used to call me the elephant man. The time I got it that bad I was in a tree clearing a spot for a tree stand, hacking and wackin'! I now know a "little" better and do a decent job avoiding it. I've been finding myself around it a lot lately though which is a bit scary. Dennis will tell you all about how I "freak" out when I see it.