could have used Kenny's Grammy and Katheen's chicken tonight . . .

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snowleopard

Minister of Fire
Dec 9, 2009
1,495
After I fed the critters, I let them out the downstairs side of the house. Dog woofed a few times and I stepped out, thinking that the moose that's been hanging around was out there. Didn't see it, and the dog calmed down and did what she came out to do. Now she's a good dog, but pushing 14, deaf, going blind, and getting pretty lame in the rear. Not my first choice to have my back in a dark alley.

It's pushing twilight, and as I stood by the door, looked around, I glanced uphill (house is built into a sidehill) and saw a large-ish, rugged-looking man standing next to my truck, about 8' from the corner of my house, looking like he was checking out the truck.

I said, "Hello?" and he turned around and I thought looked at me, then turned away. I called again, and he did the same thing. Third time I called, he didn't turn back again, and I picked up my splitting maul, went back inside with my hand on the phone in my pocket. This had me spooked.

Walked upstairs to the other door, and saw the water delivery truck was parked out there with hoses running to my holding tank, and the driver was standing by my truck playing a game on his phone. He told me that he didn't hear me call, had looked back to see what the dog was doing, and kept on playing his game. I showed him my Fiskars, and said, "You had me a bit nervous there--I kept calling you and you didn't answer." He explained he was deaf in one ear. I said I"d almost called the troopers--there'd be a fine call: "911? I'm getting a water delivery . . . "

Art-of-War strategy requires attacking from higher ground, so I went upstairs to confront him on the porch. Could you imagine his reaction if I'd gone rushing up the stairs at him like a banshee armed with a splitting maul? He'd probably have had to stop by the shop for dry overalls . . . :eek:hh:

Never dull around here . . .
 
Brave.

You rock, GF !!

Add a new pup to the list, IMHO.
 
Now that you mention it, housebreaking a pup might be easier than keeping Grammy and the chicken in Depends.

And. Not brave. :gulp:
 
Ok, this is kinda freaky.
See, I was making a water delivery at this house, right about twilight and this lady comes out of the house holding a splitting maul with a crazed look in her eyes.
Very Twilight Zone-ish. Some kind of space-time warp thing. ;-P
Darn near had to change my undiewears.
 
Sounds like a rough way to make a living.

Just want to go on record as saying I kept my splitting maul outside, and didn't pick it up until the third time I called and got ignored

It's the ones who keep it in the house that you need to watch out for.

Hey, let's be careful out there.
 
One word.

Chainsaw.

I don't care how many ears they are deaf in. They'll hear it. And haul ass. And then you have a free water truck.
 
And THIS is why you are Moderator, and the rest of us mere mortals.
 
BrotherBart said:
One word.

Chainsaw.

I don't care how many ears they are deaf in. They'll hear it. And haul ass. And then you have a free water truck.
I met a deaf ground guy who worked for my friend. I asked if it was more dangerous to work being deaf and not hearing the saw. He said NO, you can feel it in the air you don't need to hear it....
 
A heart poundah to be sure.

I was down the bottom of the driveway bringing the trash barrel in and I saw a dude looking in a neighbor's window. I stood there a second seeing if it as the neighbor trying to get his wife's attention or something. he didn't move for a full minute so I approached and called out to him. Turns out it WAS the neighbor trying to screw with his kids. He was thankful that I watched out for him. I was thankful to not have to confront someone unarmed (other than the rock I picked up).
 
This reminded me of something that happened nearly a half a century ago.
True Story--

It was about 1967, and I was a skinny teenager living at home, was in the back wooded part mucking about around sundown. I heard a rustling sound, froze, and realized it was a person approaching from the access road. As almost no one went in that part of the woods, I made my way back towards home, spotted the axe I had been using earlier (this was a LONG time ago), picked it up, and in my toughest sounding girl voice called out "Who is it?" My heart was pounding when my cousin Billy Banjou emerged and remarked, "Who the h--l are you supposed to be, Daniel Boone?"

I had to endure at least two years of everyone who knew Billy calling me Daniel Boone, and whistling the TV theme song at me.

p.s. --I had no real intention of using that axe--I wanted the unknown stranger to think it was a rifle and go away.
 
snowleopard said:
Art-of-War strategy requires attacking from higher ground, so I went upstairs to confront him on the porch. Could you imagine his reaction if I'd gone rushing up the stairs at him like a banshee armed with a splitting maul? He'd probably have had to stop by the shop for dry overalls . . . :eek:hh:

Never dull around here . . .

Musashi agrees about higher ground. He also suggests attacking with the sun at your back, A) the glare may cause problems for your enemy, and B) the long shadows will mask the length of your sword/maul. My son has taken to yelling "WASABI!" when he is going to attempt to attack me (playful like, not for real attacking, you guys so crazy). Seems to work, I feel slightly less confident that I can repel his barage when he does that. Might work better in your area.
 
Chickenfoot was nominated for a grammy.

Anyway; Banging on the door at 3A.M. is a drunk guy asking for a push. Say's he's got a cell phone, it's pouring rain, so I tell him to call 911.
The wife admonishes me for not helping and not remembering the two folks that helped us out the week before.
I get dressed and go out.
"You still there?" I called into the pouring rain and darkness.
"Yes."
"Still need a push?"
"Yes, please."
"Where are you?"
"On the swing."
:blank:
 
A few months back when I was gone camping my wife had a bit of a scare . . . she woke up one night to see the beam of a flashlight shining into the ground floor bedroom. When she looked outside she saw a couple guys coming round the house . . . she watched them for a bit as they then walked down the driveway and headed to the neighbor's house . . . about the same time she spotted a pick up truck slowly driving down the road.

Instead of calling 911 she called the neighbor . . . who then called 911 . . . local sheriff's deputy arrived and interviewed the men.

Turns out it was our Amish neighbors and some local "English" friends of theirs trying to help them find their lost cow . . . I later found out the cow had made its way to another family's farm and then while escorting the cow back the next day the cow made a break for it, one of the Amish boys attempted to follow it into the woods and the horse ended up crashing into an old dug well.

Fortunately all ended well.

The way-ward cow ended up back at home a day later.
The Amish boy and the horse just had some scrapes and bruises.
And my wife now knows what to do if strangers are prowling around the house late at night.
 
I'll teach the chicken to attack after I teach her to use the litter box. Until then you probably would do better with the sheepdog.

I was camped out alone in the middle of nowhere southern Oregon for a bird survey. A guy came up on me pretty quickly around dusk and I rushed him with my leatherman. I'm pretty sure with the knife, not the can opener, but either way.... Anyway, turns out he was doing owl surveys for another wildlife outfit. I'm glad I didn't stab him because he also turned out to be good company. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-ashamed001.gif *sigh* I always had a thing for those owl guys. Very manly men.

Glad you got your water!
 
BrotherBart said:
One word.

Chainsaw.

I don't care how many ears they are deaf in. They'll hear it. And haul ass. And then you have a free water truck.

There it is!! We've missed you.
 
~*~Kathleen~*~ said:
I'll teach the chicken to attack after I teach her to use the litter box. Until then you probably would do better with the sheepdog.

I was camped out alone in the middle of nowhere southern Oregon for a bird survey. A guy came up on me pretty quickly around dusk and I rushed him with my leatherman. I'm pretty sure with the knive, not the can opener, but either way.... Anyway, turns out he was doing owl surveys for another wildlife outfit. I'm glad I didn't stab him because he also turned out to be good company. http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-ashamed001.gif *sigh* I always had a thing for those owl guys. Very manly men.

Glad you got your water!

Good company?? I think he was on his best behavior because of the way you "defined the boundaries"!
 
firebroad said:
This reminded me of something that happened nearly a half a century ago.
True Story--

It was about 1967, and I was a skinny teenager living at home, was in the back wooded part mucking about around sundown. I heard a rustling sound, froze, and realized it was a person approaching from the access road. As almost no one went in that part of the woods, I made my way back towards home, spotted the axe I had been using earlier (this was a LONG time ago), picked it up, and in my toughest sounding girl voice called out "Who is it?" My heart was pounding when my cousin Billy Banjou emerged and remarked, "Who the h--l are you supposed to be, Daniel Boone?"

I had to endure at least two years of everyone who knew Billy calling me Daniel Boone, and whistling the TV theme song at me.

p.s. --I had no real intention of using that axe--I wanted the unknown stranger to think it was a rifle and go away.

Sue, how does an axe look like a rifle??????
 
~*~Kathleen~*~ said:
I always had a thing for those owl guys. Very manly men.

Bought a book on bees. Then ants. Then chickens and now it is off to Amazon for one on freakin owls.

This is getting expensive. :mad:
 
BrotherBart said:
~*~Kathleen~*~ said:
I always had a thing for those owl guys. Very manly men.

Bought a book on bees. Then ants. Then chickens and now it is off to Amazon for one on freakin owls.

This is getting expensive. :mad:

roll.gif
 
Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle said:
firebroad said:
This reminded me of something that happened nearly a half a century ago.
True Story--

It was about 1967, and I was a skinny teenager living at home, was in the back wooded part mucking about around sundown. I heard a rustling sound, froze, and realized it was a person approaching from the access road. As almost no one went in that part of the woods, I made my way back towards home, spotted the axe I had been using earlier (this was a LONG time ago), picked it up, and in my toughest sounding girl voice called out "Who is it?" My heart was pounding when my cousin Billy Banjou emerged and remarked, "Who the h--l are you supposed to be, Daniel Boone?"

I had to endure at least two years of everyone who knew Billy calling me Daniel Boone, and whistling the TV theme song at me.

p.s. --I had no real intention of using that axe--I wanted the unknown stranger to think it was a rifle and go away.

Sue, how does an axe look like a rifle??????
It can be anything in the dark. :coolsmile:
 
Owls...yes. I wrote my own owl book. Turned out a pair of Barred Owls used a hollow in a big white oak tree right across the street from our driveway in Fairfax Virginia for nesting. Probably for years, but I finally noticed in February 2006, our 11th year in that house. We followed their every move...named the mating pair Ozzie & Harriet. Harriet's the one in the attached pic. I took a few hundred pics of these birds and the two owlets they had that year (David & Ricky). It was fascinating. I wrote it up as a story with pics and I'd say there are probably 2 dozen copies floating around the country someplace. Out here in Oregon we have Great Horned owls, which are spectacular, but not nearly so easy to observe as the Barreds in Virginia. Rick
 

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Would love to see that book! Barreds are in Oregon. They've been expanding their range west. They are in the same genus as spotty's and can hybridize, which has caused a few problems with state and federal endangered species protections.

You also have fabulous Great Greys, and lots of little owls.
 
Yeah, I know...Barreds are a problem...they're too successful. I'd be happy to make you a copy of the story...just got a new color printer, not even hooked up yet. I'll let you know when I've got a copy ready to send to you. Meanwhile, here are the kids.
 

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