1. Welcome Hearth.com Guests and Visitors - Please enjoy our forums!
    Hearth.com GOLD Sponsors who help bring the site content to you:
    Hearthstone Soapstone and Cast-Iron stoves( Wood, Gas or Pellet Stoves and Inserts)
    Caluwe - Passion for Fire and Water ( Pellet and Wood Hydronic and Space Heating)

Enabling Significant Other

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by mass_burner, Nov 5, 2013.

  1. Charles1981

    Charles1981 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    512
    Loc:
    Michigan
    My wife doesn't use enough paper, kindling, and always places a split that is way to large to start a fire and again even though I have gone over repeatedly to not shut the bypass untill 500-550 and slowly turn down the secondary air-control in 1/4 to 1/3 steps over 20-30 minutes she won't. If I try to offer a suggestion she rolls her eyes and walks away.

    She also harasses me for being on this forum to much.

    I really think everyone has an individual situation, and honestly if you aren't in to it, you aren't in to it. Some people resent their significant other for running a wood stove when they can turn on the automatic thermostat and run the gas or electric or oil and don't give a damn about the bill.

    I'm just lucky she keeps the fire going and doesn't complain about the smell and doesn't turn on the electric heat.
    lml999 likes this.

    Helpful Sponsor Ads!





  2. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    28,619
    Loc:
    Northern Virginia
    The Brown Haired Girl operated the stoves with newspaper and kindling and blowing on coals to get the thing going again in the morning. Now I don't dare show her me starting the sucker up with Super Cedars these days. ;lol The couch is too close to the stove to sleep on.
    PapaDave and Mrs. Krabappel like this.
  3. Mrs. Krabappel

    Mrs. Krabappel Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2010
    Messages:
    1,568
    Loc:
    Blue Ridge Mountains NC
    This is my least favorite annual thread
    Jags, tom dee, PapaDave and 4 others like this.
  4. molly1414

    molly1414 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2007
    Messages:
    42
    Loc:
    Nevada County Foothills
    My husband never touches the stove and if the power went out and he was freezing to death would have no clue how it even works. He would prefer to just turn up the thermostat and use the furnace. In twenty years he has never once loaded the stove or touched a piece of firewood and that's just fine with me. It's my toy. I am the one who sees the benefits of the wood stove. The lower propane bills, the lower electric bills, the warmer house etc I dont like to be cold and so the warmer the better. He just thinks the whole thing is to much work and to much mess.
    I grew up helping my dad cut firewood and using a wood stove and I just love it. To me it makes winter bearable.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2013
    lml999, tom dee, PapaDave and 6 others like this.
  5. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    48,089
    Loc:
    South Puget Sound, WA
    You go Molly!
    PapaDave likes this.
  6. Charles1981

    Charles1981 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2013
    Messages:
    512
    Loc:
    Michigan
    Hrmm, so just to be clear here, I am in no way saying a woman can't run a stove or chop wood or use a saw or anything like that.

    I am explaining my situation and that my wife just does not put the same amount of effort into running the stove as I do.

    I think it is pretty stupid for anyone to say running a wood stove is a "man's" job.
    Backwoods Savage likes this.
  7. mass_burner

    mass_burner Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    1,055
    Loc:
    SE Mass
    Yes, I agree with molly. I came home the other night and found a smoldering bio brick and a split way too big to burn at the start. Stove was full of smoke. In about 5-7 minutes I had it going strong. Its my toy.
  8. webby3650

    webby3650 Master of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2008
    Messages:
    4,468
    Loc:
    southern Indiana
    Get a Blaze King and she will never have to touch it! I remember telling my wife how to run that Leyden and I couldn't understand why the bypass was so hard for her to figure out. I said it is the same as the Blaze King was. Then she reminded me, she never once had to touch the Blaze King! I'm so glad to have another BK!
  9. HotCoals

    HotCoals Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2010
    Messages:
    3,218
    Loc:
    Rochester,Ny.
    My wife runs the BK with no problem.
    So simple even a cave man could do it!
  10. Stella

    Stella Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2012
    Messages:
    69
    Loc:
    Southern Peloponnese, Greece
    This is interesting for me as I am the one who starts the stove from scratch and also fills it when necessary. I clean it out and clean the glass as my husband pretends all this would be too difficult for him! However, in fairness I should add that he cuts and stacks the wood and sometimes brings it in. Also got to say he never reads this forum!!
    Backwoods Savage likes this.
  11. Soundchasm

    Soundchasm Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2011
    Messages:
    591
    Loc:
    Dayton, OH
    People really want to do the things they want to do and interest takes priority in learning. If it's not interesting it's drudgery. My wife has begun to take an interest in the stove now, and I about spit my teeth out when she asked if maybe the fire wasn't going great because it got warm outside and the chimney had less draft because of it!! :eek:

    But the same poison ivy problem stumps me. I can spot that stuff from 50 feet now, and she's still slightly mystified every time. And she's a person that gardens and knows many, many plants.

    By the time I got our "entertainment center" hooked up, I made a matrix chart because the remotes/inputs/etc were so complicated. Buddy, the first time she put in a Brad Pitt movie she was working those controls like a champ!!!
  12. Cynnergy

    Cynnergy Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2012
    Messages:
    292
    Loc:
    Coast, BC
    I don't know, that stubborn wet wood one earlier this week was a doozie :).

    I do almost everything with the stove too - including supervising the install (with the help of Hearth of course). Hubby has been bit by the bug though, so I usually let him run it - for now.

    The only thing I can't do is run the saw. I figured I should really learn how to use it (just in case) so I tried last weekend. Couldn't even get it started. Any suggestions for a saw suitable for ladies?
  13. Shari

    Shari Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2008
    Messages:
    2,257
    Loc:
    Wisconsin
    Dolmar 420 (in my sig) - w/compression release start. :)
  14. teutonicking

    teutonicking Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    385
    Loc:
    Maryland
    My wife can run the stove anytime. However, this year I'm trying something new. In order to burn less wood, I'm not having my wife add splits in the afternoon (she works from home). Instead, I'm trying to just do two large loads a day--one at 7am before I go to work, and another at 7pm when I get home. So far its working out great just running on two loads--I'm getting just the right amount of coals after 12 hours to relight with no problem. We'll see if we can continue this when it starts getting colder. We are adding some new and more efficient windows to our house tomorrrow, so I think that will allow me to keep the house warm on two loads/day this winter.
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2013
    Backwoods Savage likes this.
  15. Joful

    Joful Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,350
    Loc:
    Philadelphia
    She doesn't read here, and I'd probably put it in different words if she did, but she would not disagree with the statement. When I do ask her if she can tend to one of them, she'll say, "I don't have time to be messing around with those stupid stoves, just turn up the thermostat."
  16. mudr

    mudr Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2013
    Messages:
    84
    My better half is all for wood heat. She grew up with a stove, I didn't. That being said, I do the cutting and splitting. She likes to help stack, but I do most of it. I also bring in most/all the wood. I also feed the stove 90% of the time. She knows how to run it and *can* do it well, but some of her techniques could use some polishing. My biggest pet peeve is if she want to refuel first thing in the morning to keep it going (she gets up earlier than I do), she'll put a large split face down on the meager coals and lets it smolder. grrrrrrr.
    Backwoods Savage likes this.
  17. USMC80

    USMC80 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2013
    Messages:
    842
    Loc:
    New Jersey
    Mine has always heated with wood (wood furnace). She helps stack but does not help with the new insert yet as I'm still teaching her plus she's 8 months pregnant and can't even bend down to load it lol. She is able to close the air off with her foot though
    Backwoods Savage likes this.
  18. 1750

    1750 Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2013
    Messages:
    477
    Loc:
    Michigan
    This pretty closely resembles my situation, as well. I don't believe this is divided by biology in any way. Maybe by prescribed gender roles and differences in socialization experiences.

    I'm absolutely sure my wife could learn to run the stove if she wanted to do that. If it came right down to it, however, I suspect she'd just make sure the propane tank was topped-up more frequently.
  19. BCC_Burner

    BCC_Burner Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2013
    Messages:
    307
    Loc:
    Wasatch Front: 7800'
    I'm amazed a thread that is this blatantly chauvinistic is allowed to exist here. Right from the start this has been offensive to me. Threads like these are how counterproductive gender norms continue to be ingrained in our culture.
  20. mass_burner

    mass_burner Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2013
    Messages:
    1,055
    Loc:
    SE Mass
    can't tell if this is facetious or not, but if its not, i don't think it can be chauvinistic or proposing norms if we are speaking about actual people and from real experiences. its not a gender issue, its a some-folks-aren't-into-it issue.
    eclecticcottage and rdust like this.
  21. teutonicking

    teutonicking Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    385
    Loc:
    Maryland
    "Allowed to exist?" Here comes the thought police. You need to lighten up.
    [
    rowerwet and Joful like this.
  22. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    48,089
    Loc:
    South Puget Sound, WA
    I think the title is a bit leading. My guess is that your significant other is already "enabled", possibly in other areas or interests.
  23. Big_b

    Big_b New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2012
    Messages:
    15
    They dont make Women like they used to.My wife is 27 and cant make a grilled cheese, let alone keep the stove goin. Im envious of some of yall.
    tom dee likes this.
  24. eclecticcottage

    eclecticcottage Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,699
    Loc:
    WNY

    Why? It's personal experiances. I'm not all that easily offended though (and really I find very few things around here even remotely possibly offensive-try hanging around automotive forums or worse, having a show car you take to shows/cruise nights). If anything, I get annoyed that people still think and act certain ways, but it goes both ways. Like, a friend of ours kept dating these high maintance chicks that would rather sit around reading cosmo and doing their nails and talking about shoes-and want us to come over. And of course, he and DH would go hang out in the garage and leave me with them. UGH. I'd rather put in a motor than talk about shoes. I mean really, who the heck cares, they go on your feet. And nail polish chips WAY to easily, I cannot be worrying about that when handling firewood or detailing my car.

    Although...I will admit that sometimes I wonder if the chicks that won't touch the stove are married to the dudes that won't do dishes or laundry, lol. My neightbors are like that. She won't learn to drive the lawn tractor because he won't do the laundry or dust. lol
  25. Joful

    Joful Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2012
    Messages:
    6,350
    Loc:
    Philadelphia
    What did I miss? The thread title is as gender neutral as one can get, and folks from both sides of the gender coin have responded. In my case, my wife's lack of interest in running the stove has nothing to do with her being a woman.
    teutonicking likes this.

Share This Page