I won... I never win... even when I cheat - I lose. I blame it all on my actions during a church raffle when I was 10. I had never been to a raffle before and while I didn't need any of the calendars or more statues of the virgin Mary, I just wanted to to win. So I pestered my parents for more raffle money, made sure to put tickets in the bottom, middle and top of the bucket. I also adopted what some would argue is unethical (especially for a church raffle) but not technically illegal practice of folding the ticket to double my chances. Well, I won something. Then I won again. And again. And then a few times more until the blue hair squad was staring at me with evil intentions in their eyes while gripping their canes just waiting for the right time to pounce.
In between all of the winning, to keep from getting bored, I looped together about 100 rubber bands into an Indiana Jones style whip which I was testing on the leg of the table I was sitting at. Little did I realize at 10 years old that exerting a pulling action on a folding table can cause structural issues - when all of a sudden my 4 leg table became a 3 leg table! Down came the flower vases, hand held mirrors, frame picture of the Pope... all of it crashing down. The raffle stopped with a gasp as everyone sat in shocked silence... except for the blue haired squad muttering obscenities under their breath as they reached for their walkers to make the trip over to me to kick my @$$.
So that is probably why I never win raffles. But my luck has changed!
Unless this just a prank email from Margaret from the blue haired squad from the great beyond decades later.
In between all of the winning, to keep from getting bored, I looped together about 100 rubber bands into an Indiana Jones style whip which I was testing on the leg of the table I was sitting at. Little did I realize at 10 years old that exerting a pulling action on a folding table can cause structural issues - when all of a sudden my 4 leg table became a 3 leg table! Down came the flower vases, hand held mirrors, frame picture of the Pope... all of it crashing down. The raffle stopped with a gasp as everyone sat in shocked silence... except for the blue haired squad muttering obscenities under their breath as they reached for their walkers to make the trip over to me to kick my @$$.
So that is probably why I never win raffles. But my luck has changed!
Unless this just a prank email from Margaret from the blue haired squad from the great beyond decades later.
