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How to choose a religion

Post in 'The Inglenook' started by precaud, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. precaud

    precaud Minister of Fire

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    A friend sent this to me, I found it hilarious!

    Attached Files:

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  2. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

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    LOL Yep, that about covers it all except for Zoroastrians and Pastafararians.
  3. snowleopard

    snowleopard Minister of Fire

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    Where do Baha'i fit on this chart?
  4. Jack Straw

    Jack Straw Minister of Fire

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    Loc:
    Schoharie County, N Y
    Wow...I am a Jehovah's Witness, Thanks. Now I have to drive around and bother people at home. I can't vote or celebrate holidays. I want a do over! :-S
  5. kenny chaos

    kenny chaos Minister of Fire

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    I'm Mormon. I'm guessing fundamentalist. :lol:
  6. GAMMA RAY

    GAMMA RAY Minister of Fire

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    Start disliking bacon and wear underwear then...... :lol:
  7. firebroad

    firebroad Minister of Fire

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    LOVE IT!

    Got to share this
  8. Jack Straw

    Jack Straw Minister of Fire

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    Schoharie County, N Y

    Hey, I love eating bacon while going commando!

    Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?
  9. firebroad

    firebroad Minister of Fire

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    ...And I am a Wiccan.
  10. GAMMA RAY

    GAMMA RAY Minister of Fire

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    I have plenty of copies thank you very much....they have stalked me for 7 years now....I guess they think I look like bad news.... :coolsmirk:
  11. firebroad

    firebroad Minister of Fire

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    If you tell them you are Catholic, they will be polite and leave. If you tell them you are Wiccan, they will leave and never darken your door. Also, they will pray for you, never can hurt!
  12. Pallet Pete

    Pallet Pete Guest

    Ha This is too funny and inaccurate! Maybe I just started a posting war oooops :lol: All kidding aside I just said get of my property or I will remove you they said what about paradise I said do you want to get there faster and they left hahaha!!!!! That was after roughly 8 times pestering me while working in my garage in one week!

    Pete
  13. firebroad

    firebroad Minister of Fire

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    Careful, or we are liable to be shut down for ragging on our JW friends.
  14. webbie

    webbie Seasoned Moderator Staff Member

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    Western Mass.
    Let me guess.
    They get a heathen vibe from you?
  15. webbie

    webbie Seasoned Moderator Staff Member

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    But according to John Templeton, who spent hundreds of millions on research, it may not hurt but it doesn't help!

    Throwing dice and doing a Wiccan dance helps just as much - scientifically proven....so does watching Family Guy.
  16. firebroad

    firebroad Minister of Fire

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    I have never objected to anyone who felt like they needed to pray for me--for just that reason ;-)
  17. Hogwildz

    Hogwildz Minister of Fire

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    I either tell them to go F themselves, or that I worship Satan, and would they like to come in for some Koolaid. Haven't had any back here in a while.
  18. kenny chaos

    kenny chaos Minister of Fire

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    Are we talking about how to pick a religion or how to impress kids? :coolsmile:
  19. Jack Straw

    Jack Straw Minister of Fire

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    I thought he was talking about politicians who came to his house campaigning
  20. DAKSY

    DAKSY Patriot Guard Rider Staff Member

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    Loc:
    Averill Park, NY, on Burden Lake II...
    I had a Jehovah's Witless Car full of em (2 men in suits, 2 nicely dressed women) pull
    into my driveway one hot summer when I lived in a more rural part of the county &
    when they opened the doors, I let loose a whistle & my 95 lb Lab/Shepherd mix (Riley)
    came screamin across the yard...All FOUR of em jumped in the car & rolled up the windows
    & locked the doors!
    I let em sit there & sweat for a couple of minutes before I chained Riley up & asked how
    I could help them. One of the guys pulled his Witless Digest or Mother Witless News or
    whatever propaganda it was & it had a 40mm Bofors Anti-Aircraft gun on the cover. He started his spiel
    & I told him that I might have MADE that gun at Watervliet Arsenal (look it up). He started to
    spout fire & brimstone about the evils of war & I said if I didn't make em somebody else would,
    & why should I give up MY job? He started on me again & I just walked away & unchained Riley.
    Once again they scrambled back into the car. EWhen they realized that the dog was not gonna
    be chained, they bailed. Word must've got out, cuz they NEVER came back...
  21. PA Fire Bug

    PA Fire Bug Feeling the Heat

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    Blair County, PA
    This worked out well for me but I'd like to think that I'm not boring or generic. The Jehovah's Witnesses have me on their list. The same lady visits several times a year. I don't agree with some of their core beliefs but I agree with many of their moral values.
  22. Hogwildz

    Hogwildz Minister of Fire

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    Was thinking more Jonestown
  23. Seasoned Oak

    Seasoned Oak Minister of Fire

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    The interesting thing about religion is each one has to believe that theirs is right and all or most of the other ones are wrong. They all cant be right, but it is entirely possible that they all can be wrong.
  24. Singed Eyebrows

    Singed Eyebrows New Member

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    Don't get me started Randy lol, Randy
  25. potter

    potter Feeling the Heat

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    Loc:
    western NY
    Me either, have kept my mouth shut so far. I will point out the path to atheism is the shortest and most direct on the chart. :coolgrin:

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