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I Have An Unsuspecting Slug Snoozing On A Piece Of Firewood ..

Post in 'The Inglenook' started by Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle, Nov 22, 2011.

  1. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    That I just brought in form outside.

    *cackles madly with hand wringing*

    ;-)

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  2. kbrown

    kbrown Feeling the Heat

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    I hear that the slug is mother nature's moisture meter! ;-P If there's one on the split, it's still too wet to burn!
  3. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    Ha !!!!

    It's toast. Ever step on one on your bare feet?? >:-(

    Toast, I say !!
  4. Thistle

    Thistle Minister of Fire

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    Snap.Crackle.POP!
  5. Battenkiller

    Battenkiller Minister of Fire

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    Open a can of beer and drink most of it. Leave about an inch on the bottom and put it out by your wood pile (or garden). Next morning, go out to get the can. It will have several slugs in it.

    Wait... no use wasting beer, even a little on the bottom....

    OK... Open a can of Natty Light. Pour most of it on the ground. Leave an inch on the bottom and put it out by your wood pile (or garden). Next morning, go out to get the can. It will have an inch of Natty light in it, but nothing else.

    Damn... even slugs won't touch the stuff. ;-P
  6. PapaDave

    PapaDave Minister of Fire

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    Just burn 'em, Eileen.
    We used to give the boy a salt shaker and a flashlight to dispatch the little buggers.
  7. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    >:-(
  8. Woody Stover

    Woody Stover Minister of Fire

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    How do you know if it's snoozing or if it's at a dead run? It is a slug after all...
  9. Woody Stover

    Woody Stover Minister of Fire

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    I was under the impression that you didn't like it either. I seem to remember a pic posted by you showing a 12-pack about to be torched in your stove...
  10. snowleopard

    snowleopard New Member

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    I have an unsuspecting Slug
    on some disputed firewood split
    whose Carcass will explode and spit
    some Natty Light into the air.
    I have an unsuspecting Slug--
    snoozing, running--I don't care.

    It may be I shall take my hand,
    Toss him him in the stove and
    squint my eyes and hold my breath
    And watch until the thing explodes.

    I have an unsuspecting slug.
    When Spring comes round again this year
    And the first meadow-flowers appear.
    The slug will likely not be here.

    God knows 'twere better to be deep
    Pillowed in punk and scented bark,
    Where girl slugs throb in blissful sleep,
    Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
    Where hushed awakenings are dear...

    But I've an unsuspecting slug.
    This morning in my flaming stove,
    When next I open up the door
    And I to my pledged word am true,
    My little slug shall be no more.
  11. Shari

    Shari Minister of Fire

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    Alright! That there just cracked me up!! :) :) :) :) :)
  12. woodchip

    woodchip Minister of Fire

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    Worst experience ever, they always go up between your toes and just die in a heap of slime.

    I say instant cremation is the way to go ;-)
  13. quercus_kelloggii

    quercus_kelloggii Member

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    Placer Co. CA
    escargot? Haha. Burn baby burn ;).
    [​IMG]
  14. RNLA

    RNLA Minister of Fire

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    Wow, POET LORIAT or however you spell that really good poet title....LAUREATE maybe?
  15. Gary_602z

    Gary_602z Minister of Fire

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    A little butter and some garlic and the problem is solved! :lol:

    Gary
  16. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    Not to worry, the cremation service was performed just after 10 last night. Murph's my witness :)
  17. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

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    Glad I wasn't downwind. :-/

    We have superslugs out here 6-8" long. You really know when you've stepped on one of them.

    snowleopard, great poem! Or do you have a tune behind that ditty?
  18. snowleopard

    snowleopard New Member

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    How about a story instead? This was written by Alan Seeger. 1888–1916, who died as he predicted in the following poem, in battle. Interesting aside, his brother was the father of Pete Seeger. I did not begin to do the rhyme scheme justice, but it came bubbling up, so I wrote it down. Here's the amazing original (John F. Kennedy's favorite poem, ironic that, who died 48 years ago today).


    "I Have a Rendezvous with Death"

    I HAVE a rendezvous with Death
    At some disputed barricade,
    When Spring comes back with rustling shade
    And apple-blossoms fill the air—
    I have a rendezvous with Death 5
    When Spring brings back blue days and fair.

    It may be he shall take my hand
    And lead me into his dark land
    And close my eyes and quench my breath—
    It may be I shall pass him still. 10
    I have a rendezvous with Death
    On some scarred slope of battered hill,
    When Spring comes round again this year
    And the first meadow-flowers appear.

    God knows 'twere better to be deep 15
    Pillowed in silk and scented down,
    Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
    Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
    Where hushed awakenings are dear...
    But I've a rendezvous with Death 20
    At midnight in some flaming town,
    When Spring trips north again this year,
    And I to my pledged word am true,
    I shall not fail that rendezvous.
  19. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    Snow, you're making me think, and that's a good thing:)

    Thanks for sharing that.
  20. snowleopard

    snowleopard New Member

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    to which we hear a faint, sluggy voice comment: "Yeah, finally. Fat lot of good that does me now . . . " :lol:
  21. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." Robert Benchley
  22. Boom Stick

    Boom Stick Feeling the Heat

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjWYhXrC0-c

    Reminds me of this. I use this when I teach WW1 to my us history class.



  23. fishingpol

    fishingpol Minister of Fire

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    It's not a slug, but a snail I made out of cherry burl that was destined to be firewood. I won't burn it though ...

    Attached Files:

  24. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

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    Do not burn that.
  25. Danno77

    Danno77 Minister of Fire

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    This is me partaking of "free range escargot", otherwise referred to as "chewy-salty-peppery", on a 5 day hike in the GSMNP...
    [​IMG]

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