Innovative Wood Boiler Design

[jebatty]

I’ve worked out a new wood boiler design that based on initial calculations produces net delivery of 9527 BTU’s per pound of 20% or more moisture wood. Splitting not necessary, and the punkier, the better. Punk contains bacterial energy cones which provide the extra BTU’s in conjunction with (1) below.

Can anyone see how I might improve on this?

1) high burst wood gas nozzle, creates wood gas plasma – key to high energy output (carefully guarded trade secret; design is in my safe in the basement: R 17, L 28, R 75, L 4)
2) fire tubes, titanium/U-235 high density alloy
3) turbboidal orbital turbulators (patent pending)
4) water return tubes, with super, multi-level, extractors
5) green thing to aid in return of green stuff
6) ash grate (production model will not need this because no ash is produced)
7) viewing ports (need 3, one for each of my kids)
8) catalytic reactor plate (available from Edmondt Scientific supply in Chaddakisland)
9) [wanted 10 references; had to add this to get to 10]
10) forced draft unit, utilizing a 235 mph leaf blower motor (12 amps @ 120V)

Happy Holidays to All!

 

[DaveBP]

Have you applied for a grant yet? There's a fellow named Madoff that might be able to get you some financing to develop this.

 

[machinistbcb]

That reminds me of another invention called the retroincabulator. I am think of installing one for home use, to help with the semi-permic unilaterally phase distotion inverted onto my displaced catilitic bearing on the blower of my tarm.... just a though see video

 

[BrownianHeatingTech]

I think Phil Doughtery already has a patent on that one...

Joe

 

[brad068]

That reminds me of another invention called the retroincabulator. I am think of installing one for home use, to help with the semi-permic unilaterally phase distotion inverted onto my displaced catilitic bearing on the blower of my tarm.... just a though see video

If I didn't no any better, I was waiting for " Live from New York its saturday night!"

 

[brad068]

I think the Who's down in Who-ville already have these in production. Day late and a dollar short!

 

[Duetech]

Talk to the Chineses you might be able to make a buck with knock offs. Nice design but can't you get in trouble for burning punks?

 

[jebatty]

Thanks for the advice and misdirected pointers. Take a look at the picture on the bottom right of the ad following the last post on this page. The pre-heat chamber for the high burst wood gas nozzle in my new design would look EXACTLY like that. I say "would" because I use stealth materials in my design and combust only dark matter. I couldn't put a reference in the picture because it's invisible.

 

[Justburnit]

Hi Jim,

I myself would have no interest in running a 12 amp blower for hours on end. Oil cost less than electricity in many places.

One thing I find with many of these boilers if so much emphasis on the burn and not enough on getting the heat into the water. When I see a boiler that has flue temps 10-15° above water temps I will consider that innovative.

 

[jebatty]

When I see a boiler that has flue temps 10-15° above water temps I will consider that innovative.

Thanks for mentioning that; I forgot to bring it up. Wood gas plasma when combusted with dark matter produces dark energy which achieves a 100% transfer to water with no exhaust. Therefore, no flue is needed. Innovation has arrived.

 

[pellet9999]

get a brain or a life

 

[heaterman]

Looking at the schematic drawing I can see that you are on to something........or maybe just on something period. However........I can offer the following suggestions for your engineering perusal.

1> The addition of a left handed metric swash plate in the area of the hyper velocity fluid reciprocation node would probably increase the transfer of plasma gas to the phase distortion ring thereby improving efficiency by .00037%

2> The incumbent recumbent valve looks too small to adequately serve the purpose of it's intended use. What use it actually is would be anyone's guess.

3> My calculations show an inverse ratio of quarks to muons which would mean that at full output the unit would become a black hole, swallow the known universe and spit everything out upside down and with reverse polarity. I can't imagine my life being negatively charged and I surely don't want to contemplate how the above described scenario would effect my wife's interaction with the checkbook.

4> I believe the fluid level is low on the right turn signal.

5> Methane capture from a nearby herd of cows could augment the need for banana peels in the feed stock mash. This would aid in the digestor action by a factor of 2.14573 to the third quantum cubism if my calculations are correct.

Other than that I'd say go for it.

Now pardon me whilst I wipe the coffee spew off my keeeeeeyboard

 

[jebatty]

My calculations show an inverse ratio of quarks to muons which would mean that at full output the unit would become a black hole, swallow the known universe and spit everything out upside down and with reverse polarity.

It happened! Caught a photo just as the boiler itself disappeared into its own black hole. My construction plans were sitting on top of the boiler as it subsumed into the 66th dimension -- they and the boiler are no more.

Thanks to everyone for their wry insight into this nonsense.

I'm on to get a life.

Happy holidays to all!

 

[leaddog]

My calculations show an inverse ratio of quarks to muons which would mean that at full output the unit would become a black hole, swallow the known universe and spit everything out upside down and with reverse polarity.

It happened! Caught a photo just as the boiler itself disappeared into its own black hole. My construction plans were sitting on top of the boiler as it subsumed into the 66th dimension -- they and the boiler are no more.

Thanks to everyone for their wry insight into this nonsense.

I'm on to get a life.

Happy holidays to all!

Looks like another one hit the ash can
leaddog

 

[NNYorker]

I think Phil Doughtery already has a patent on that one...

Joe

This will be sold right along side his 120 MPG SUV--internet sales only, taxes,title,registration, and WARRANTY EXTRA ! Please call for information and speak to our voice mail right now