Joke:Woman receives Gunshot to head, Hold in brain, survives.

Augie Posted By Augie, Nov 13, 2013 at 1:45 PM

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  1. Augie

    Augie
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    Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered. Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence. The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
     
  2. webbie

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    Sounds like the time I was waiting around for a bus at the bottom of Mt. Mansfield in Stowe...after skiing.

    All of a sudden, I felt this warm feeling against one of my legs - only way to describe it was that the bladder cut loose. So I gingerly stepped on the bus and went back to my room, where I discovered one of those heater packets had accidentally went off in my pocket. I think that particular one was the fault of Daddy Bush, since he was Prez at the time.
     
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  3. Augie

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    First time in a car with seat heater maybe a decade ago I had the same feeling, I was embarrassed.....
     
  4. stoveguy2esw

    stoveguy2esw
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    so thats what happened to chris matthews on election day!!!! i didnt realize it was that cold at the time;lol
     
  5. Augie

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    SEriously webbie... ????? Did you really feel the need to label this as a joke by changing the thread title? LOL
     
  6. Dix

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    Red heads would never be stoopid ;)
     
  7. BrotherBart

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    Brett Butler was using this story, claiming it was her sister, in her standup act as far back as 1994.
     
  8. webbie

    webbie
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    Yep.

    Otherwise, scrolling the forum people think it's dead serious....the nook is not supposed to be "if it bleeds, it leads"......but a joke is OK.
     
  9. fossil

    fossil
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    I don't even think it's funny.
     
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  10. Corey

    Corey
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    LOL - just told the wife... who is blond, and for some reason gave up her libertarian roots to support obama this go'round, and came home whining to me about her health care, and got mad when I told her my health care was even more plus there would be a $100/mo surcharge if she wanted to leave her plan an get on mine, and who is 6' tall, and athletic and ready to kick my butt!

    Well, at least I had a decent laugh while dodging the paper towel roll! Gotta go!
     
  11. stoveguy2esw

    stoveguy2esw
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    i thought it was worth a chuckle. the political side being a bit like "gallows humor"
     
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