Thanks for the support. You guys are always there for a guy when he's down and out. Seen it over and over here. Now it's my turn, and I really appreciate it.
It's hard for me to hold a grudge at this point in my life. It takes so much energy! I just don't have it in me anymore. Best to just grit our teeth and soldier on. They did what they did for reasons that I can't fathom. Maybe they had no choice, but were too embarrassed to confront us. Shame is not the same as cowardice, I will not make a value judgement on them. They let us have the run of the place all this time, maybe that's why it hurts so much - it feels like our own home.
You're all right, one can never tell what kind of wonderful things can happen to you all because of a negative event. About 35 years ago I got fired from a good job and decided to go back to school. Never did finish the degree back then, but I did meet a wonderful gal out there who ended up giving me three beautiful kids and became my soulmate for life. Without having been laid off, I never would have met my true love. I think about things like that when I am bouncing my grandson Ethan on my knee.
We have been lucky over the last 21 years here, and we had a good long run of it. Time to move on to the next thing. Yeah, it's gonna be brutal, but we might find an even nicer place, you just never know. This place will always be in our memories: the beautiful bucolic view, the peace and quiet, deer and turkey in the fields most nights, raising three kids up to be responsible adults - what more could we want? Still, I look around at all the landscaping we did the last two years, the sturdy work shed I built (now for their herdsman to enjoy for free), the chainsaw carving station we've been perfecting all summer and am just now being able to work at, all the pine logs we painstakingly stripped of bark so the bugs wouldn't get in and destroy them... the list goes on and on.
But so many around us have lost so much in the last week or so. Homes, roads... entire towns washed away. Even if I end up losing every damn thing, at least I'll be able to say I had a fighting chance. My sister had to watch helplessly as her home got swallowed by the flood water. My home town of Waterford is practically a ghost town. People wandering around everywhere in upstate NY after the worst flood anyone alive can remember. I was able to rescue my stuff from my flooded basement only to have to maybe sell it all, but at least the river didn't claim it. Even in these hard times, we are blessed.
Yes, we now have an opportunity to buy our own place... my earliest life dream and the one that has eluded me all these years. As much as we love this place, there were numerous things that the landlord was never willing to take care of, things that we just flat out hate. I made a list of these things, so every time we get a twinge in the heart, we can look at the list and take comfort that at least we won't have to put up with that stuff anymore. 18 so far. Amazing what you get used to over time. Sometimes you just have to trick yourself with some mind games in order to go on. This is one of those times.
Had the first deal gone through we would have been in a bad situation, but since we were still renting it was not a big deal, and we ended up where we are now. 13 years later, still loving the property and home. 
