1. Moisture meter - totally unnecessary for telling when your wood is ready, but an absolute essential on Hearth.com for settling arguments as to whether or not your wood is dry enough. 2. IR thermometer - totally unnecessary for telling if your stove is at the right temp, but fun for making your cat jump up the wall to get at the red dot. 3. Chainsaw in the 70cc class - totally unnecessary for felling the smaller trees you will likely encounter when a 50cc saw will do the trick, but you cannot hold your head up here without a saw of at least 60cc. Unless it is a "pro" saw, which will allow you to get by with 10 less cc... just because. 4. 27 ton splitter that can split vertically - totally unnecessary because only old coots and cranks split vertically, but you have to have one with the capability to split vertically so you can show that you do have a choice but refuse to swing that way. 5. Magi Heat heat reclaimer - totally unnecessary but... hell, it's just totally unnecessary. Strike that one. 5. HD video camera - totally unnecssary for wood burning, but you will need to be able to put up clips of your amazing secondaries on YouTube... which, like kids, are only more beautiful than everybody else's just because they're yours.