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My Stackenpilezenhausen

Post in 'The Wood Shed' started by wendell, May 16, 2009.

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  1. wendell

    wendell Minister of Fire

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    After doing exacting calculations using quantum physics, I have come up with the perfect wood stack, combining the ease of the normal wood stack with the convective properties of the holz hausen.

    Notice how the wind will pass through the back of the stack and then hit the random layer of piled ends, creating a vortex of drying that is then propelled out of the front of the stack. In addition, the electromagnetic properties of the wire fencing will add to the drying process by creating an electric current that will pass the wood, exciting the water molecules and causing them to leap out of the wood.

    By my calculations, my wood should be dry in 3 weeks.

    (This is actually only half the stack so it may actually be ready to burn in only a week and a half.

    [​IMG]

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  2. Chris S

    Chris S New Member

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    I'm sure you already took this into account... Proper N-S orientation to take full advantage of the Coriolis effect.

    Nice photo, better sense of humor.

    Chris
  3. Pagey

    Pagey Minister of Fire

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    I've noticed that if you stare at the picture really hard, you can actually see little waves of moisture evaporating from the ends of the wood!
  4. fossil

    fossil Accidental Moderator Staff Member

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    Leave it like that about 2 days too long and it'll just burst into flames where it sits. Rick
  5. LLigetfa

    LLigetfa Minister of Fire

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    I can't quite make out how that fencing comes into play. Is the pile wrapped with it to hold it together? The way I see it, as the two outside rows move, they will snag on tossed pieces in the middle and get jacked apart, hopefully not enough to topple the pile.
  6. gzecc

    gzecc Minister of Fire

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    Is that vapor I see rising?
    Ps. The wire fence will work better if it is not touching the ground!
    Should post a sign for pacemaker patients not to touch it on dry days.
  7. 11 Bravo

    11 Bravo New Member

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    or us hearing aid wearers gzecc........that fencing could short mine out and VA won't be happy......
  8. Shari

    Shari Minister of Fire

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    Wendell,

    I see you live in Madison - that explains your entire post as Madison, the college town that it is, is also known as "The Party Town". Perhaps you keyed your post after imbibing a bit too much at one of those parties?? :)

    Seriously, looks like a good stack you got going there. Not sure why the wire is there unless you are contemplating an electric fence sort of set up for firewood theives....

    Shari
  9. northwinds

    northwinds Minister of Fire

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    The wire keeps the broken glass out of the woodpile when Wendell throws the empty bottles of
    Lake Louie beer.
  10. rob bennett

    rob bennett New Member

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    How long are those splits? They look teeny. Not a criticism , I'm just curious.
  11. Tree farmer

    Tree farmer New Member

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    If you ever want to visit NH I have a place for you to stay and a seven cord pile left that could use your skills.
  12. skinnykid

    skinnykid New Member

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    After he stays and stacks at my house. We will give him the full stacking tour of the state!!

    Nice stacks, very funny post. What you should have done is had NASA take pictures and coordinates for you from space to be sure you get the proper gravitational pull on your stacks to help "fling" that moisture away.
  13. North of 60

    North of 60 Minister of Fire

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    Im pickin up what your layen down there wendell. The chicken wire works well for keeping the pile from leaning when it shrinks.
    There is always a shrinkage factor that comes into play when your dealing with most type of wood. ;-) Thats what I had to explain to my wife. :lol:
    N of 60
  14. Birdman1

    Birdman1 New Member

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    Dude you made beer come out my nose.
  15. Jamess67

    Jamess67 Feeling the Heat

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    you guys are HILARIOUS !!!!
  16. iskiatomic

    iskiatomic Minister of Fire

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    I don't see any empty beer bottles or cans nearby, and you are talking quantum physics? I need to have at least 5 or 6 before quantum physics even comes into the equation.


    Nice stack!


    KC
  17. gzecc

    gzecc Minister of Fire

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    Btw, Wendell, the pallets work best on the bottom. There have been studies, suggesting pallets on all sides will help evaporative characteristics of the pallet design although no qualitative results can be found.
  18. LLigetfa

    LLigetfa Minister of Fire

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    Ja, it's a widely held belief that the chemicals that the pallets are treated with act like a desiccant, drawing out the moisture, killing all the bugs, and ensuring wealth and prosperity for your offspring just so long as they stay away from the woodpile.
  19. mayhem

    mayhem Minister of Fire

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    The fence needs to touch the ground to keep the electric fields grounded...otherwise we're looking at backyard fusion.

    Might want to think about patenting this and cashing in on the home energy generation.
  20. wendell

    wendell Minister of Fire

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    To answer the questions I was asked, I'm about 3 inches away from 2 of my neighbors fences, the stacks started at 6 ft. tall (but have already dropped about 5" since that picture was taken a month ago), it is all elm so the pieces are very irregular, I'm not a great jigsaw puzzle builder and this is my 2010/11 wood so the fence is an attempt to keep everything standing until then. I have rope connecting the fence posts together and rope extending from the fence posts in the back that will be connected to the fence in the front. And, come winter, I'm going to lace a rope across the top of fencing to hold the tarp down and keep everything together.

    Splits are 14" for the most part as that what fits in the door of my stove. I ended up with some very large logs this year that I cut about 10" just so I could horse them onto the splitter so there are way too many of those. If that happens again, I will cut them to 14 and rip them in half as stacking 10" wood s**cks.

    No beer involved. I have enough trouble stacking when I am sober. :)

    Thanks for the comment BB. That was the best laugh I've had in weeks!
  21. wendell

    wendell Minister of Fire

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    I figured I owed you guys and gals a picture or two of the finished product. (Plus, I got a great laugh reading through all of the posts again and thought you might, too.)

    [​IMG]

    and, from the neighbor's yard (wanted to make that clear so you didn't think I left the chairs in the picture).

    [​IMG]

    So, overall, a little over 4 cords, 99% elm, waiting for 2010/11.
  22. gzecc

    gzecc Minister of Fire

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    Whats the white piping? Is it for the runoff?
  23. wendell

    wendell Minister of Fire

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    I wanted to make absolutely sure I didn't take out the neighbor's fence so there are ropes going through the stack from the posts in the back to the front, drilled some holes in the pvc, ran the ropes through and secured them with cable clamps to keep it all together no matter how the ground shifts or the wood shrinks.
  24. PapaDave

    PapaDave Minister of Fire

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    Just figured the chairs were for the wood watching party.
    Only 4 of you? The rest of your friends don't know what they're missing! :lol:
  25. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Minister of Fire

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    May it keep you warm next winter Wendell.
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