My wife is cheating on me - A wood burners version

[DriftWood]

I hate when that happens, ya gotta get them anti tamper covers they sell, I got them at work, whats that guy say on tv....just set it and forget it! oh ....cept if shes clever she might fiddle with it by sticking a pencil in them air slots on the cover... I go around breaking all the points off the pencils, collecting pens, contraband ya know!

Harry already came up with my solution.T he only problem I have then I have to fake the trouble shoot to find out why the burner is not working

Meanwhile honey would you mind adding a few log to the fire?

oh, Elk...then you get to play the hero! What? "Somethings on the fritz!? Say it isnt so! Tell you what honey, you get working on making me a good dinner, and even though Im no electrician or furnace repaiman, Ill take a look at it and see if I can figure it out, ok?!"
Keep a few cool ones handy in the basement....go down there, cuss a few times, tap something with a wrench every once and awhile, then come up, reconnect it. Dont forget to promptly disconnect again when convenient!

Just turn off the power to the furnace, tell them its broken. Do not forget to turn it on when you need it.