To all the folks worrying about whether or not their wood will be ready

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fossil

Accidental Moderator
Sep 30, 2007
10,566
Bend, OR
Trust me, stop sweating it. It’ll get just as dry as it’s gonna get. It'll burn. I’ve actually found that I can facilitate the seasoning of my firewood by getting away from the computer, setting up a lawn chair in an advantageous location, popping myself open a nice tall can of brew and watching my firewood dry for an hour or two a day, sometimes longer. The wood then learns how much I care for it, and it wants to please me. Sometimes I hum an appropriate tune to the wood, like “Light My Fire” by Jim Morrison & the Doors, or maybe “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash. If the wood is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you’re looking to burn it to ash soon, there are Wood Hospice services available with trained professional counselors on staff who can ease the wood through the end-of-log transition and promote a peaceful resignation among the splits...even an appreciative anticipation of knowing the comfort they’re about to provide, rather than just rotting on the forest floor. Be with your wood, and it will be with you. OK, moderators...that's it, I'm ready for the ash can, toss me in! Rick
 
It's nice to know I'm not the only one. My wife thinks I'm absolutely NUTS all the time I go out and visit with my wood.
 
fossil said:
Trust me, stop sweating it. It’ll get just as dry as it’s gonna get. It'll burn. I’ve actually found that I can facilitate the seasoning of my firewood by getting away from the computer, setting up a lawn chair in an advantageous location, popping myself open a nice tall can of brew and watching my firewood dry for an hour or two a day, sometimes longer. The wood then learns how much I care for it, and it wants to please me. Sometimes I hum an appropriate tune to the wood, like “Light My Fire” by Jim Morrison & the Doors, or maybe “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash. If the wood is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you’re looking to burn it to ash soon, there are Wood Hospice services available with trained professional counselors on staff who can ease the wood through the end-of-log transition and promote a peaceful resignation among the splits...even an appreciative anticipation of knowing the comfort they’re about to provide, rather than just rotting on the forest floor. Be with your wood, and it will be with you. OK, moderators...that's it, I'm ready for the ash can, toss me in! Rick

Does your wood sing back to you? Mine does "Bad to the Bone" like George Thouroghgood and the Delaware Destroyers.
 
Mine keeps throwing itself to the ground in a desperate attempt to escape, forgetting it doesn't have any legs. If it was't so bloated with water, it might be light enough to roll down the hill, but as it is, it just wallows in the mud and begs to be racked up again.

Unless my name is Noah, we *will* have a week or two of rainlessness between now and the end of September. If not, it'll just dry out around the hearth for a day before it gets thrown into the fiery chamber with a weasel or two.
 
Some country songs "That should be"

Lonely with my rounds
My ends are cracked
This tired old Maul
She's really "stacked"
Another wedge between us
This sagg'in chain will get me buy
My Barks Fall'in off
Another rip in my chaps
Cant hook blues



WoodButcher
 
You guys are really really going off the deep end lovin your wood like that. When I went crawling into the basement the other day to get something I had to step over the pellets I have there. Try as I might I just couldn't get up the gumption to start caressing them. In some perverse way I picture up a spinoff from that famous scene in American Pie when the father blunders into the kitchen. You surely remember the son being busted desecrating the apple pie. Be afraid, be very afraid there are wood freaks out there.
 
Driz said:
You guys are really really going off the deep end lovin your wood like that. When I went crawling into the basement the other day to get something I had to step over the pellets I have there. Try as I might I just couldn't get up the gumption to start caressing them. In some perverse way I picture up a spinoff from that famous scene in American Pie when the father blunders into the kitchen. You surely remember the son being busted desecrating the apple pie. Be afraid, be very afraid there are wood freaks out there.

Pellets are like silicon implants......aka: fake.

Although I do appreciate modern science, I prefer the real deal if given the choice.
Yes, of course I'm talking about pellets vs wood. :coolgrin:
 
When stacked wood replaces stacked brunettes in my fantasies I will check my self into "The Home".
 
gyrfalcon said:
Mine keeps throwing itself to the ground in a desperate attempt to escape, forgetting it doesn't have any legs.

Had the same problem this spring....but I think it came to the realization that it cannot fall far enough to escape and the temper tantrums won't help.
 
I am with you guys, I stare out the window from time to time to check on the stacks to see if they are getting darker or if the sun is on them etc. When I go outside to play wiht the kids, we always take a walk over to bang a few pieces together to listen to the high pitched "ping"!
 
Hmmm....I must have lazy firewood. Mine just lays in a pile, content to sit there till its gray and cracked.
 
Jags said:
Hmmm....I must have lazy firewood. Mine just lays in a pile, content to sit there till its gray and cracked.


Nah, Mine are dead and silent, too.
Some of us are just sane.

or sober .. I forget.
 
Jags ...I do like that portable bar stool you have in your signature photo. Damn if I had me one of those I could cruise the Old Port and not break a sweat. And for all you worriers out there. Any wood will burn no matter how wet. All it takes is a pile of 3" coals and you could burn wet rats. You may not get top efficiency and might get a little creosote build up but take my word wet wood will burn. I've done it for many years. Even if your wood is bone dry it pays to throw the occasional wet log on top of all this to get a longer burn...especially at night.
 
JPapiPE said:
Even if your wood is bone dry it pays to throw the occasional wet log on top of all this to get a longer burn...especially at night.

Thanks for the rep on the scooter......but I will have to respectfully disagree on throwing wet wood into a fire. It is a proven fact that it takes BTU's to burn off the extra water in wet wood. That is btu's that are not turned into heat. It may extend burn TIME (which could be managed by the stoves controls) but that is only because it is using up heat to cook off the excess moisture so that the wet log can ignite (more time till ignition).

In my opinion it doesn't "pay" to use any of the BTUs in the fuel load of my stove to simply burn off water. Thats wasted heat. Mathematically speaking, you will have less BTU into the heated area by using wet wood.
 
Agreed, Jags. Throwing a wet log on the fire is just going to cool down the flue gas temps and increase creosote condensation. Not a good idea. Use bigger, dry splits to extend the burn time instead.
 
You guys are much stranger than I thought when I joined this site. I feel more at home each day. I send my wife out to the wood pile once a week in spandex, a denim jacket, and poofy hair and make her sing 'All Fired Up' by Pat Benatar to my wood. Doesn't do much for the wood, but I sure enjoy it.
 
the_dude said:
You guys are much stranger than I thought when I joined this site. I feel more at home each day. I send my wife out to the wood pile once a week in spandex, a denim jacket, and poofy hair and make her sing 'All Fired Up' by Pat Benatar to my wood. Doesn't do much for the wood, but I sure enjoy it.

Will she be going on tour anytime soon? Rick
 
the_dude said:
You guys are much stranger than I thought when I joined this site. I feel more at home each day. I send my wife out to the wood pile once a week in spandex, a denim jacket, and poofy hair and make her sing 'All Fired Up' by Pat Benatar to my wood. Doesn't do much for the wood, but I sure enjoy it.

You wouldn't by chance have a youtube link to this?

Had to ask :red:
 
WOODBUTCHER said:
Some country songs "That should be"

Lonely with my rounds
My ends are cracked
This tired old Maul
She's really "stacked"
Another wedge between us
This sagg'in chain will get me buy
My Barks Fall'in off
Another rip in my chaps
Cant hook blues



WoodButcher

Now thats some funny stuff Butch !!!
 
gyrfalcon said:
...If not, it'll just dry out around the hearth for a day before it gets thrown into the fiery chamber with a weasel or two.

Ferrets come more conveniently packaged. (Early yesterday morning we were awakened by a Great Horned Owl perched on the balcony railing right outside our bedroom...quite a bird!). Rick
 
Yes Woody and Jags ...I know wood with more moisture will sap a stoves efficiency and increase the creosote build up. But it can't be denied that tossing a piece or 2 of less than dry wood on the top of the pile at night will give a longer, less efficient, burn time, and i think that is effective, for some people, at night especially. But hopefully every one has a ladder and a stove pipe cleaning brush along with some fiberglass rods to keep their chimneys in good clean condition. It will take me 10 minutes to set up my ladder , remove the stove cap and run the brush down my chimney.
Even though you guys may not agree with me...I find this type of burning a means to an end. It is an old used practice passed down from generations of stove burners. It is even listed in "The Woodburners Encyclopedia, Wood As Energy" by Vermont Crossroads Press.wriiten by Jay Shelton.

I wonder as lots of the articles in this forum make the assumption that people will not pay attention to their chimneys and do bimonthy inspections, and subsequent cleanings. I'm good to go on that front... I do hope that lots of people will not become complacent because it is cold outside and neglect chimney maintenance. A dangerous affair...Probably more dangerous than riding Jags motorized bar stool at 20 M.P.H.
Thanks woody and jags ...it's really is great to get opposing veiws, so people know there are different opinions.
 
And all along I thought I was alone with the wood thing...I think I'm gonna like this site.
 
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