To volunteer to help C/S/S, or not!

[Little Digger]

A couple of years back, my neighbors sister had a load of logs delivered to be cut, split, and stacked for firewood that season. I volunteered to lend a hand and that day we processed and estimate of 4 cord of wood. Since then, I have felled 5 trees for that particular neighbor. I limbed and bucked them to the size he needed (for his friends) the largest being 36" across at the base and cleaned up the area where I did the work. I also bucked and limbed along with cleaning up the mess from another tree for this same neighbor that was about 4 foot across that his son just felled and left lay there.

I had also volunteered to help buck and clean up a tree his BIL had felled and was in the process of doing the same. He is the immediate neighbor to the neighbor I had been helping. Another neighbor needed a tree felled that was hung up in another tree, which was around two feet across at the base, 80 feet in height, hung at about 45 degrees, after a storm which I volunteered to take care of and did with minimal damage to the tree it was hung up in. I bucked it into usable rounds and stacked them as well as the remainder of the branches for kindling next to their driveway for easy access. In each case I did ask if they needed help and volunteered my services. Had they said "no" I would have just walked away.

About a week back, my neighbors sister decided she would give burning firewood another try. (?) So my neighbor met up with me one evening and attempted to enlist me to volunteer again. I didn't bite. It's not that I wouldn't want to give a helping hand, I do, but having had 4 dump truck loads of logs dropped at my place and not a single offer of help came from any of my neighbors. Yes, I have given them all a hand at one time or another when I had seen there was a need. Not that I would have let any of them help because simply, it's my way of keeping in shape, but it would have went a long way in my book if there had been an offer from any or all of them. So much for trying to be a good neighbor!

So given these circumstances, would you volunteer (free) to help? Or distance yourself?

 

[Fred Wright]

An old saying comes to mind: No one can take advantage of you without your permission.

As to the question of whether to help your neighbor again, I don't see why not. But there should be something for you in the deal. Offer your service in exchange for a portion of the rounds or splits.

 

[warno]

I have a friend that will help anyone with anything for nothing more then a "thank you" after the task is complete. Great guy to have around. Even when someone offers money, or anything for that matter, in return he will refuse it.

Me on the other hand, I believe some kind of payment is due. You should either request some of the wood be yours in return for the work. If you are using your equipment they should at very least cover fuel costs if nothing else. I believe if you have done all this work for them, then you should be owed something by now.

 

[ElmBurner]

Seems like the people you are helping are in over their heads and you are doing things that they can't do themselves?

I'll help someone as long as they appreciate it. Hopefully by returning a favor in the future. If it becomes a very "one way" sort of relationship, where I help them and get nothing in return, then I start screening calls or giving excuses.

 

[jatoxico]

it's my way of keeping in shape,

Need the exercise?
You're neighbors are making you feel unappreciated. After they do it for themselves and find out what it takes they won't.
If they were in dire straights I'm sure you'd help regardless. In this case I'd let them pay for their own lunch this time.

 

[bfitz3]

I'd help for awhile, but would line up other things to do myself. As for their not offering help... If you didn't ask, I think they are off the hook. If you asked and they turned you down, I'd be singing a different tune.

 

[AmbDrvr253]

I'd help for awhile, but would line up other things to do myself. As for their not offering help... If you didn't ask, I think they are off the hook. If you asked and they turned you down, I'd be singing a different tune.

X2

 

[D8Chumley]

I'd say you have done plenty without some repayment. Like was previously said if they are willing to give you some wood in return I'd consider it. If not you have to look out for yourself and get your wood processed. My .02

 

[claydogg84]

You've done plenty and it does sound like they are taking advantage of your kindness. Enough is enough, we've all got our own stuff to get done around the house.

 

[saskwoodburner]

You've got your own things to worry about and take care of, so nevermind the neighbors trying to take advantage of your good nature.

 

[Little Digger]

I did have two offers of help with the four dump truck loads of logs. One from a guy with the tree service that I had received the logs from, and one from a customer at the local hardware store where I was purchasing another splitting axe to replace the one I broke. I turned them both down indicating it was my way of staying in shape. Around here, generally people volunteer to help when they know there is a need, unlike some areas of the country where you might be laying in the street having a massive coronary needing help, but since you didn't ask, then obviously you don't need help.

But as for asking, I did that once here. I had lived here for a few months and I had a 850# machine fall over. My neighbor watched it happen, and as soon as he saw me coming to ask for help, he ran into the house and locked the door. But I knocked several times anyway. The machine needed to be righted, so I ended up doing it myself. (think massive hernia or at least that's what it felt like) But now I have been here 5 years and have gotten acquainted with my neighbors so they know where my heart is at. And yes, if I knew someone was in dire straights, I would help them without hesitation.

This isn't the first time I had no offers of help. Last October when I was putting on a new roof including the sheathing and underlayment, then covering the works with metal, where some of the pieces were 23 feet 3 inches in length. It was about a 1600 square foot roof. There were no offers then either, and I would not have accepted help anyway simply due to the hazards I had to deal with. The roof was badly in need of replacement which I didn't know when I purchased this place. I wasn't nearly as disappointed not getting any offers of help, but this time, it bothered me. But, it didn't bother me until my neighbor tried to get me to volunteer to help his sister as I did two years ago.

I don't want more firewood, nor do I want money or whatever. I don't want actual help, just the offer of help. It's nice to at least be asked!

Y'all are right, I do have enough work of my own to do around the home including processing my own firewood.

Thank you everyone for your responses!

 

[Little Digger]

Need the exercise?

Sure, why not? You couldn't get this kind of workout in some gym. It's great cardio, and it works the core nicely. Amp it up and do it in 80 and 90 degree temperatures. Just be careful not to become dehydrated.

Plus I'm getting old so I need the extra exercise!

 

[jatoxico]

Sure, why not? You couldn't get this kind of workout in some gym. It's great cardio, and it works the core nicely. Amp it up and do it in 80 and 90 degree temperatures. Just be careful not to become dehydrated.

Plus I'm getting old so I need the extra exercise! I just turned 64 on the 9th.

Splitting wood is my gym too!

 

[BigCountryNY]

I know exactly what you're saying. I'm the same way - don't usually ask for help but it's nice to know that others would return the favor if you've helped them in the past.

Splitting wood is my gym too!

I also agree with this. Processed 6 cords this summer and now my shorts and jeans aren't staying on so well. I was out there when it was in the 80s and 90s as well, but always ensured I was taking in plenty of water. Probably one of my favorite workouts! I call processing wood "CrossFit for Men".

 

[Ashful]

I'll help any neighbor, when they truly need it, but my time is too valuable to help a healthy soul split their wood.

 

[JP11]

Help a neighbor.. sure.

Help a neighbor and repeatedly get nothing.. not even much of a thanks... not me!

Help a neighbor's sister.. Heck no!

JP

 

[D8Chumley]

Is she hot? Maybe then...

 

[HybridFyre]

I'm with D8. If you load a pic of the sister here I'll be much more capable of a full opinion on the matter.

 

[kennyp2339]

I kind of got into the same problem starting last year.
I was the 1st in my group of burning friends to get a log load, I went at the pile cutting and splitting in the course of a couple weeks, I had help from one of my buddies (doesn't burn) with cutting and rolling rounds, my other "pal" tried to help but his saw broke literally on the first log he decided to cut, he later came over with his splitter and gave me a hand splitting for 4 or 5 hours.
After running around the fire house bragging about all my firewood I got for $350.00 other people started to order trucks. I was automatically volunteered to help, and I did, I helped cut and split 6 log truck loads of wood over the course of a year, so figure about 35 or so cords of wood.
Just the other day at separate times I got volunteered to help cut and split (2) more truck loads, I flat out told my one friend that I wasn't really going to help because of fall chores at my place (he also doesn't really help with anyone else's projects, he only wants help with his stuff) My other pal I will help, but I'm kind of dreading it because I know that I'll be sawing all the stuff up (he still didn't replace his saw that broke while at my place)
The other people I helped have helped my back ten fold this past spring with my retaining wall project, they will also help me with my wood shed project this fall after I get the driveway repaved.

 

[D8Chumley]

Tell him you will help as long as he gets a new saw and does his part. Like Ashful said, my time is pretty valuable, especially when I'm working 6 days/60+ hours a week. Sunday is pretty hectic here trying to catch up

 

[Little Digger]

I know exactly what you're saying. I'm the same way - don't usually ask for help but it's nice to know that others would return the favor if you've helped them in the past.

It's always nice to know that if you did need help, they would indeed return the favor. Not offering when they see there is a potential for needing help puts them in the "Users and Losers" catagory. I don't help users and losers. My entire attitude would be different had they asked one little question. Could you use some help? Can I give you a hand? etc. Like I said, I don't want the help, but I would have liked to have been asked if I needed any help. Especially before trying to entice me into volunteering for something else for a close relative of theirs. Funny how this neighbor hasn't spoken to me since.

I call processing wood "CrossFit for Men".

Come on now, women can benefit from the same exercise. Just not use those heavy mauls including the steel wedge on a steel rod or pipe. I know several women who cut, spit, and stack their own firewood locally.

I'm on the home stretch with between one and a half cord and two cord of white pine to cut, split, and stack. Though it does need to be seasoned, I just can't resit the temptation to get out there with my chainsaw and axes anyway. A general rule of thumb is to split green hardwood shortly after felling, and split softwood after it has seasoned for at least several months or more.

 

[Little Digger]

D8Chumley and HybridFyre: Sorry, no pictures of the sister! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and someone must have had an eye for this one since she was married at one time. Her husband passed sometime back.

On a scale of 1 to 10, in my eyes, she might make a 1 and 1/2 as far as looks, but has a personality of at least a 7 maybe even and 8. (looks are only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone)

 

[Monaco]

It's a ton of freaking work. There needs to be at least a mutually beneficial relationship in place.

 

[Wood Duck]

So the neighbor's sister wants to burn wood, and the plan is to enlist you to help prepare the firewood. That doesn't seem reasonable to me. If they had a plan to do it themselves and needed some expert advice, or a little help with the larger logs, or some thing like that, sure I'd help. But if the plan is for you to do the work, forget it. You already have work to do.