Wood thieves????

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"Thor" keeps a close eye on my firewood. Thor is a 185 .lb Great dane :)

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Nice doggy Thor. Sit. Stay.
 
Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was. I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.
 
b33p3r said:
Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was. I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.

that actually happened here! blew the stove apart in the thieves house. also, let everyone know who it was that was stealing....
 
Holy Crap. Either put a saddle on him or use him to skid logs & you're set.
 
Putting gunpowder in the wood and blowing someones stove apart would be good for finding out who did it.
But, if you blew someones stove up and caused a fire which killed anyone in their house then you have to ask yourself could you live with the fact that it killed someone. Yes, they are stealing your sweat and blood work but is it worth their deaths?

Use a game camera or dog protection first.

That way you find out who is doing the stealing, if you find out it is someone who is in need then you can decide what you do from there.
If it is a neighbor then you can go the route of asking them to keep an eye on your wood pile and maybe indicate that you might booby trap a few pieces. If it is your neighbor maybe ask them next year to help you split and cut the wood then they can have some.

Use your best judgement in all cases and don't let snap emotions control what you do.

Oh, a better way to booby trap the wood is to fill it full of poop or pee, that way it won't kill them but they sure would think twice before using your wood again. Also if it is a relation that is using your wood you get to have a good laugh instead of a cry.
 
just for everyone's info- the gunpowder thing happened many years ago...before i was alive. i think its funny how everyone knows about it but no one has ever actually heard of it happening. obviously, it was not a very large amount of charge...so they wouldn't have to live with the guilt of a death or a fire
 
Actually the gunpowder as long as it is not tightly packed and air sealed shouldn't cause much damage.
But, I think sealing in poop or pee in the wood would be a much better alternative especially if a relative or the person doing it forgets which pieces are modified.
 
How about a bunch of animal or human hair? That would go up quick and stink to high heaven! Just brush the dog or cat, and save the hair from the haircut. I bet you could really pack a bunch in there! Just a thought.
 
Game camera will be a start.....discussed it with the husband.....have a friend with one and I can borrow it so I don't even have to spend any $$$$$. The poop thing sounds enticing though...It would be my luck that I would grab one of those mothers and throw it in our stove :shut: Or maybe I could borrow Thor, handsome dog, don't think I could handle him he is close to double my weight!!! Thanks for all your replies guys.
 
I never personally did the black powder thing. I can't even admit whether or not I know someone that did it.
 
Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
richg said:
Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.

Am I thinking of a brand name of super-concentrated hot sauce made from Habanero & Ghost chilies,or is it something else? :lol:
 
LMFAO :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Guess its not hot sauce after all.Though I know a couple people that I wouldnt mind putting a drop or two in their food.....
 
Me thinks I am getting some of that Liquid A#@ stuff and use it on one of the docs in the practice that gives me a hard time....If it works good I'll put it inside of the wood for the theives... :lol:
 
Maybe some limberger cheese would be good too
 
richg said:
Using a Fiskars splitter or maul, split a big piece in half. Hollow it out large enough for a container of Liquid Ass (yes, the stuff exists) and glue the pieces back together. When burned, it will produce a stench so foul that people will call for a hazmat emergency team. You will have your culprit.

Yeah, except the smell goes right up the chimney, and just your luck you'll be straight down wind the day they burn that piece ... talk about a great plan backfiring... I wouldn't risk that...
 
I don't think it would be wise to use anything lethal. But I think the game camera would be the first part of some real fun you could have - because you could get pictures of their reaction!

How 'bout asking your hunting friends for some deer parts. Bones, internal organs, anything that wouldn't be immediately distinguishable as "not human". Then hide the body parts under the wood pile. Perhaps with some swatches of clothing. Take a kethup bottle and smack it with the splitting maul and leave maul or ax sticking in splitting block with ketchup splatter (remove all traces of bottle). OK, maybe don't over-do it.

Oh, and please post pictures from game camera here. I wanna see the expression on thieve's face when he/she lifts up a log to uncover a bone, or liver, or. . . The best part would be if they actually reported it to the police!

Or....


You could tuck a ziploc baggie full of some white powder (baking soda?) Or crushed bay leaves. That might produce an interesting sequence of photos.


Or...

Use some heavy test fishing line to secure a log to a stake. As they head away with an armload the line grows taught and log rips out of their arms.

Or...

Could you find a way to transplant a wasp nest to the area they are stealing from, but avoid it yourself?

Or...

If temperatures are not freezing rig a garden hose to be triggered by removing a log and spraying them.

Or...

???? anyone else have some ideas????
 
Ha! I just thought of another thing, if you were really, really cruel. . .

If you sucessfully pulled off the dead body parts thing, and the neighbor did NOT report it to the police, you could keep quiet about it for a few days, then stop by with a gift package of some homemade "venison sausage".
 
Or mention the people down the street are looking for thier great dane. You hear the are "good" animals and how your have had some, I mean one in the past... I still think hair in the middle would be interesting. It would go up quick and if they checked the fire...wow!!!
 
b33p3r said:
Drill out the center of a piece and pour some black powder in it. Saw dust mixed with glue to close up the end again. don't forget which piece it is. Once it's stolen and used you'll know who the thief was. I can neither confirm nor deny whether this approach has ever been used. The names were changed to protect the innocent.

I can confirm it has been done in my town.

I have told the story to quite a few people, if they want to think I would do the same thing, that is up to them.
 
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