You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner If...

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When people in the neighborhood stop to take photographs of your wood piles.

When the neighbors start inviting you to their house because your house "is like a sauna"

When the people at the Stihl dealership place the right size chain for your saw on the counter without you even asking.
 
....When you have burning wood and you don't have to go to the doctor.
 
When "getting wood" has more than 1 meaning.

When you get together with fellow burners and talk about each others wood.
 
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Guilty on all counts. ;hm
 
...when you can spot the glimmer of fresh cut round from 3 blocks away.
 
when YOU threaten the propane company to get them to take their 500 gallon tank back! (by threaten I mean tell them if they don't come get it you're hooking it to your truck and hauling it out to the road for them-this works well, btw-very motivational for them apparently)

I'm about ready to make "the call" to the ------s for a fill up. But, since I didn't pay for the priviledge of the non-plan plan, I'm sure their going to want to charge me some crazy fee for the priviledge of paying them for propane. If I can just convince them to give me one more fill up, I should be good for three years or so.

...When you call the propane company a bunch of _______s.

...When you're able to consider how many years a tank of propane will last.

...When you spill a fine porter on the stove and you're more upset than your wife (and not just about the wasted porter).
 
When you say that you have "morning wood".........and you just mean that you have some firewood that you have to attend to in the morning.
When you wood is 16" long and it's average length.
 
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When you drive through a neighborhood and have to look at the chimneys to spot the ones with liners.

(I hate that I can't stop doing that. Gonna have a wreck some day.)
 
When "getting wood" has more than 1 meaning.

When you get together with fellow burners and talk about each others wood.
yeah, just tree wood though.
 
...When you've memorized the firewood species/BTU charts and when offered a possible scrounge, your first question is "What type of wood is it?".
 
When 72 upstairs is cold.
When your kid never wears shoes, pants, or shirt.
 
When you have been cutting so long you use a hollow log for a toilet !
 
When people start asking if they can by camp firewood bundles.
 
When the tv is replaced by a wood stove glass window !
 
When your wood piles have numbered rows organized by species.
 
When you train the dog to go get another log to finish a load
 
when you get your consumers bill and its alot cheaper than your non wood burning friends, and they are cold.
 
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