You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner If...

When Pallets get so used to you they start talking to you screaming no don't hurt me I will do anything !

Pete

When you've read this whole thread, and are up past your bed time, and still haven't learned anything new.

If you use your "good" miter saw to cut up your kindling!

If you save paper cups from the bathroom all year to use as fire starters!

(I'm guilty on both counts.)

its 73 inside, and your seven year old says "its kinda cool in here, mayber we should get a little shoulder burn going."

and then you seven year old asks if it is ok to start a fire…and then rakes 20 hour old coals and yelps with excitement when she finds hot coals and states its ready for a burn!"

after adding some splits…she asks if she can stoke the fire and after ten minutes closes the door, opens the primary and says, "daddy, it will settle in 20 minutes or so and then we can slow it down".

you see this thread coming

The snow isnt to deep yet so you might go get another cord cause you know there is some dry blow down near by! So what if the neighbours wonder why you spend so much time in your back yard playing with your wood!

...you've googled how long it takes for heating oil to go bad

Your Amazon.com wish list consists of:


Kintrex IRT0421 Non-Contact Infrared Thermometer with Laser Targeting


Husqvarna ProForest Chain Saw Helmet System


Husqvarna 531309565 Chain Saw Apron Chaps, Navy


Husqvarna 505642210 Chain Saw Protective Gloves, Large


Homeowner's Complete Guide to the Chainsaw: A Chainsaw Pro Shows You How to Safely and Confidently Handle Everything from Trimming Branches and Felling Trees to Splitting and Stacking Wood


Fiskars 7884 X27 36-Inch Super Splitting Axe
In that order if anyone is looking to surprise me...

The snow is deep and you use a kiddie sled to move firewood out of pure determination to not give in to mother nature !

When your definitions have new meanings, log on- add wood to the fire
Download- getting wood off the truck
Monitor-watching the stove
Ram- the thing that splits the wood
Hard drive- getting home in the winter
Log off-don't add more wood

Have you been good this year?

When the deciding factor on whether to buy the lot next to your house is "the value of the wood on it" and your wife is ok with that

When your nosy busy body neighbor in your "no commercial activity" subdivision thinks you are selling firewood because nobody needs that much wood

When you consider NOT doing that insulation project because it will cut into your wood consumption

When your wife asks where you are going to stack the pile of wood you just brought home, and you tell her you will make more room by cutting more trees

If the neighborhood cats get lost in our wood piles and start crying for help ! GUILTY

Pete

If you stop at the scene of a car accident to have first dibs on the 18" black locust the victim ran into...

.... Your wife gets jealous of the time you spend with your wood pile.

When you eyeball the tree in your neighbors yard and secretly wish that when it falls it falls onto your property so your neighbor feels bad about it and gives you the whole tree.

...you step out back at your sons first birthday party to show your stacks and your wife knows that there is no way to stop you.

It doesnt mean the same when thing that it used to when you tell your wife that you are getting wood......

If wood begets wood...yooOOUU might just be a wood burner.

When your friend who works for the propane company sends a rep to your house to find out if you're still alive...