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You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Nov 6, 2008.

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  1. gary

    gary New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
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    Loc:
    St. George, KS
    When you notice the downed tree lying next to the road instead of the young, female jogger running past it.

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  2. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    48,089
    Loc:
    South Puget Sound, WA
    When you actually enjoy building a woodshed, scrounging wood and splitting it as much as burning it.
  3. skinnykid

    skinnykid New Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2008
    Messages:
    655
    Loc:
    Next to a lake in NH
    You know your a wood burner because you have a constant pain in your neck from always looking up at trees and thinking " I Know how I would drop that!"
  4. gzecc

    gzecc Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,862
    Loc:
    NNJ
    You know your a wood burner when you hump a used 400lb insert 100 miles home you found on craigslist.
  5. fossil

    fossil Accidental Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    Messages:
    10,348
    Loc:
    Bend, OR
    I don't know if I'm a real woodburner. But I know my wife is. She stacks wood more neatly than I do, and I can lay in bed in the morning until she's got the Liberty crankin' with the blower going. How I love that woman! :p Rick
  6. bsruther

    bsruther Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2008
    Messages:
    724
    Loc:
    Northern Kentucky
    When you covet your wood pile... When you carress your wood pile...When you tuck the tarp in around the wood pile and ask it if it's comfortable.
  7. Dill

    Dill Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2008
    Messages:
    329
    Loc:
    Northwood NH
    That post made me remember this. A popular yearly joke on a another Forum I'm active on.



    I like to stack my wood vertically, but that often requires using completely symetrical pieces, so we do a lot of sorting. So the symetrical pieces get stacked in a vertical position roughly 15 yards of the Southwest corner of the house, running completley perpendicular to the swing of the back door.

    Discarded, assymetrial pieces, get stacked in a traditional manner in alternating 4'x4'x5' stacks 6' apart around the perimeter of the garden shed.

    Stacks are seperated into grades based on wood composition, weight, angle of split pattern compared to grain, texture and condition of bark (I have sensative skin), and potential burn rate derrived by the ratio of mass to moisture content.

    Vertically stacked, symetrical pieces get covered by a monogramed, custom tailored, canvas sail cloth wood stack cover I special ordered from Pottery Barn. It looks very professional.

    For the assymetrical "stacks", I prefer a more down-home feel. These are protecetd by hand crocheted wool wood pile cozies I made from yarn I spun from wool sheared from a neighbor's sheep. A nice, personal touch.

    Wood piles, they're a "good thing".....
  8. chad3

    chad3 Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2007
    Messages:
    453
    Loc:
    Southeast CT
    2 1/2 year old daughter knocks on wood and then says "good wood". Crumples paper to start the fires and then has to hand you each piece of kindling followed by telling you that you need to split a few of the pieces a bit smaller before lighting off. She will then come back a few minutes after the fire has started to make sure the fire is going. No kidding, she is a sweetheart!!!

    Running through the woods and I stop to take a look at some of the huge oaks and both really want to take them down and then figure out how I would drop it and best way without taking out other trees. Small puzzles are fun.
  9. bsa0021

    bsa0021 Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    405
    Loc:
    Ohio
    When darkness falls and you sneak over to your neighbors yard (who doesn't burn) to drive copper spikes into his 100 year old oak tree (just kidding).
  10. bfunk13

    bfunk13 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2008
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    765
    Loc:
    Wyoming
    You know your a wood burner when you open your gas bill and its under 50 bucks!
  11. trapshooter9

    trapshooter9 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2008
    Messages:
    37
    Loc:
    Central Ohio
    When you sort through your wood stack looking for the "right" split, the way many people sort through their wine rack trying to decide on a bottle of wine. Lets see...I think I'll go with the '06 ash followed by some '05 cherry and then for dessert a split or two of 7 year old oak.
  12. Chettt

    Chettt Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    267
    Loc:
    Western Michigan
    When your absolute dream house is an 800 sq/ft cabin on a quarter section of hardwood. I used that one last year brother Bart but it is still my dream.
  13. Bigg_Redd

    Bigg_Redd Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2008
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    3,798
    Loc:
    Shelton, WA
    . . .when you stop and snag a load of firewood left by the power company on the side of the road on the way to your wedding.
  14. bvpbill

    bvpbill New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2007
    Messages:
    18
    Loc:
    Maryland
    When you read this thread to completion and have a couple of cords stacked outside.
    Ready to go when you don't know what the winter will bring here in
    Annapolis. However, it will get cold and we will be warm.
    Better to burn wood than burn $$$ paying BGE for the non heat pump heat!
    Bill
  15. eernest4

    eernest4 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Messages:
    603
    Loc:
    ct
    You know your a woodburner when you are upset because there is a tree down 20 miles away
    that you can have free for the taking but the gasoline & the number of trips needed to get it all home virsus the carring capacity of your honda civic hatch back make it too expensive to bother with.

    Oh why didn't I put a new axil on my trailer earlier this summer???

    Oh yea, I remember now. I wanted to get the wood I already had on hand cut,split & stored in the wood shed, first, before it got rained on & all moldy & green & started growing oddly shaped & colored things out of the sides of the logs.
  16. pyro68

    pyro68 Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2007
    Messages:
    171
    Loc:
    east coast
    when your wife is in bed waiting, and your stuck on hearth.com trying to figure out if that 5th thermometer for your stove will benefit, and where to place it on the stove. . . .
  17. CowboyAndy

    CowboyAndy New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2008
    Messages:
    744
    Loc:
    Chateaugay, NY
    You know you are a real wood burner when you drag the wood splitter over to the in laws at 8pm on a wed night because they have some left to be split... and just ignore the skunk 50 yards from you, and the coyotes that seem to be getting closer and closer. Head home at 9pm and ponder splitting more by the headlights of your truck, even though most of the neighborhood is asleep and someone will most likely call the cops. But hey, that wood isn't going to split itself!
  18. kenny chaos

    kenny chaos Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,995
    Loc:
    Rochester,ny
    You know you're a real wood burner when you get such a strong and urgent need to split wood that you sneak out in your ninja outfit and absolutely refuse to think that you might be out of gas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qVfbl38rnc
  19. acesover

    acesover New Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2008
    Messages:
    83
    Loc:
    Long Island, NY
    when your posting stuff on the hearth at 2 am.
  20. timfromohio

    timfromohio Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    520
    When the pictures your kids draw of any type of dwelling (be it house, castle, etc.) all have stoves, chimneys, red in the firebox, and small black lines coming out of the chimney that's supposed to be the smoke (they're both under 5 and are still learning about a "clean" burn ....)

    When your kids (both under 5) have their gloves on when you get home from work and ask you if it's "wood duty" time and are ready to help bring in a load of wood from the pile to the stack in the garage.
  21. Got Wood

    Got Wood Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2008
    Messages:
    912
    Loc:
    Dutchess Cty, NY
    When your wife doesn't let you drive because your attention is searching the roadside for a potential score!

    When you show off your wood pile to your non burning friends and they give you one of those "are you nuts" looks

    When the word "Maul" doesn't bring dreadfull thoughts of shopping
  22. gzecc

    gzecc Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,862
    Loc:
    NNJ
    When you seriously consider the possible theft of some of your wood from your wood supply by a low down wood thief.
  23. Adios Pantalones

    Adios Pantalones Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    6,418
    Loc:
    S.NH- Mass's smoking section
    Perfectly healthy, you have already assembled your own funeral pyre.
  24. Valhalla

    Valhalla Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    909
    Loc:
    Essex County, New York
    You give your family and friends tours of your wood stacks.

    Your stove is cleaner than your truck.

    Life revolves around your stove!
  25. eernest4

    eernest4 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2007
    Messages:
    603
    Loc:
    ct
    Don't LOL , but it's too late for that!!!
    Already happened to me 2 years ago!!!!
    I almost caught the guy ,too!!
    He seen me comming with the axe in my hand & took off down the road with his trunk lid flapping & a trunk full of my best splits.
    SOB/skunk rat!!!

    I got rid of the wood pile & keep all my splits in 3 nice locked waterproof wood sheds now, because of him & the constant raining. :coolsmirk:
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