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You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Oct 13, 2011.

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  1. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    Northern Virginia
    Well, it's that time of year again for my annual thread.

    "You keep trying to talk about how great that three year old oak is burning. While the dentist is trying to do a root canal."

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  2. BrowningBAR

    BrowningBAR Minister of Fire

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    Jul 22, 2008
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    Doylestown, PA
    I'm making wine bottle labels for Dennis' wood. It seems appropriate.
  3. Redbear86

    Redbear86 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2011
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    149
    Loc:
    SE Idaho
    when your driving 2 hours home on I-15 in a sunk down toyota camry with a resolute acclaim in the trunk because i couldn't pass up the deal! $300.00 Wife was pretty embarrassed riding in the car with me----could proby be "you might be a redneck" joke too.....
  4. RNLA

    RNLA Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2010
    Messages:
    762
    You groom the wood pile to satisfy your OCD. No cobbles, odd balls or unusauals. Just splits + or - 2" no more.
  5. wkpoor

    wkpoor Minister of Fire

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    Oct 30, 2008
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    1,854
    Loc:
    Amanda, OH
    You look forward to bitter cold nights just so you can enjoy the warmth of a wood stove.
  6. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    ...... you spend more time looking at the stove than your spouse.

    pen
  7. gmule

    gmule Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
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    452
    Loc:
    Conifer Colorado
    ...... your stove cost more than your car
  8. ROYJ24

    ROYJ24 Member

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    Oct 3, 2007
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    148
    Loc:
    S. JERSEY
    You hear a chainsaw in the distance & you automatically started drooling.
  9. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    Or jump in the truck because it may be the electric company clearing right of way and they leave the wood by the road.
  10. Jaugust124

    Jaugust124 Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2010
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    374
    Loc:
    Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    Whenever you meet someone new, you invariably slip it in there that you burn firewood in hopes that they do too, just so you can talk about it a little more.
  11. Mrs. Krabappel

    Mrs. Krabappel Minister of Fire

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    Loc:
    Blue Ridge Mountains NC
    [​IMG]


    I won't tell her
  12. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    After 36 years wife says quit looking at me and go tend the stove. "It's cold in here and you are interrupting my Fred Astaire movie. If you could dance like him we would have central heat.".
  13. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    Oh come on! My wife still loves ,,,,,,,, :eek:hh: ,,,,,,,,, brb
  14. RNLA

    RNLA Minister of Fire

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    762
    You spend time trying to figure out how to get more stacks on your property without raising suspicious eyes of the city. This would be so I can get as far ahead as BWS! :gulp:
  15. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    Quit trying. If more people keep as much stacked wood as he has on hand the tilt of the earth won't come back in our favor ;)

    pen
  16. Nonprophet

    Nonprophet Minister of Fire

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    Loc:
    Oregon
    As you're falling asleep and visualizing the proverbial sheep jumping over the split-rail fence you're thinking: "I bet those rails are bone dry........."



    NP
  17. blacktail

    blacktail Minister of Fire

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    559
    Loc:
    Western WA
    Too true! I have a Toyota Tercel that I got for a commuter. Best $1300 I ever spent.
    And it can hold a surprising amount of firewood in the trunk.
  18. CTYank

    CTYank Minister of Fire

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    933
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    SW CT
    You grab a split from the pile, and instantly remember where & when you found it.
  19. GAMMA RAY

    GAMMA RAY Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2011
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    1,970
    Loc:
    PA.
    you decide to throw out the polyester blend bathrobe that has "singed" spots all over from ah...things.... :red: It was my first year burning dammit....I have to be more careful >:-(
    You contemplate what bathrobe to get that would be the most fire resistant... :lol:
    or...you get bummed out when the weather forecast for the next week is above average temps (damn indian summer) and you wanna play with your new stove.... :coolsmile: :lol:
  20. GAMMA RAY

    GAMMA RAY Minister of Fire

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    1,970
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    PA.
    Wait....bathrobe? I won't need no stinking bathrobe.....I gots the 30 now dammit.... :coolgrin:
  21. rottiman

    rottiman Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2009
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    1,102
    Loc:
    Ontario Canada
    .......Your anal about keeping the wood rack on the back deck and the one next to the stove filled to the max thinking like there will be a blizzard and artic cold every day, and that you'll need to survive for days on end without being able to get to the BIG wood shed down yonder !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  22. rakuz66

    rakuz66 New Member

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    Loc:
    Maple Glen, Pa.
    You use shims on your wood rack to keep them perfectly plum and level.
  23. Battenkiller

    Battenkiller Minister of Fire

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    Just Outside the Blue Line
    You no longer need gloves because, after handling 200 cord of wood over the years, your hands are gloves.
  24. SpeakEasy

    SpeakEasy Member

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    Nov 30, 2009
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    Loc:
    Western NY
    After you decided you're pretty well set for wood for the next couple of years, you start thinking, "Well another couple of cords wouldn't hurt."
  25. Stump_Branch

    Stump_Branch Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2010
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    878
    Loc:
    MD
    Take sunday drives pointing out peoples woodstacks..
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