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Brother Barts Classic Hearthsongs

Apr 19, 2013
Brother Barts Classic Hearthsongs
  • Gems and nuggets from our own Brother Bart:

    Im burning clean, Im a believer

    I thought burning clean was only true in fairy tales
    Meant for some other burner and not for me
    My stove was out to get me
    Thats the way it seemed
    Smoking chimneys haunted all my dreams

    Then I bought a new stove, now Im a believer
    Not a trace of smoke in the sky
    Im burning clean, Im a believer
    I couldnt go back if I tried

    I thought smoke was more or less a given thing
    Seems the more I tried the more I got
    Whats the use in tryin?
    All you get is smoke
    When I needed heat I got tar

    Then I bought a new stove, now Im a believer
    Not a trace of smoke in the sky
    Im burning clean, Im a believer
    I couldnt go back if I tried

    (With no apologies whatsoever to The Monkees)

    Stainless Wondering

    Well is my stovepipe tarnished?
    I have no way to tell
    Its up at the top of that stainless stack
    Where I cant see so well

    It makes me suspicious baby
    It looks suspicious
    It looks suspicious and I dont know why

    (Apologies to Elvis and Heartbreak Hotel)

    Painted Black
    I see a red stove and I want it painted black
    No colors anymore I want them to turn black
    I see the Summits burn dressed in their amber clothes
    I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

    I see a line of stoves and theyre all painted black
    With kindling and splits both never to come back
    Like a newbie burner it just happens every day

    I look inside my stove and see its heart is black
    I see that red stove and its been painted black
    Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
    Its not easy firing up when your whole stove aint black

    No more will my red Summit turn a deeper hue
    I could not foresee this thing happening to you
    If I load tight enough into the setting sun
    My stove will burn for me till mornin comes

    I see a red stove and I want it painted black
    No colors anymore I want them to turn black
    I see the Summits burn dressed in their amber clothes
    I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

    Hmm,hmm,hmm,

    I wanna see it painted, painted black
    Black as night, black as coal
    I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black

    Yeah!
    (With apologies to Mick, Keef and the boys)

    Painted Black part 2
    contributed by myzamboni
    I see a blue pipe and I want it painted black
    No colors anymore I want them to turn black
    I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
    I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
    I see a line of cars and theyre all painted black
    With flowers and my love both never to come back
    I see People turn their heads and quickly look away
    Like a new born baby it just happens evry day
    I look inside myself and see my hearth is black
    I see my blue pipe and it has been painted black
    Maybe then Ill fade away and not have to face the facts
    Its not easy facin up when your whole stove is black
    (apologies to the Stones)

    THE ANSWER IS BLOWIN IN THE END (With no apologies whatsoever to Bob Dylan)

    How many years must firewood dry
    Before it is ready burn
    Yes, n, how many months must white oak lay
    Before it reaches its turn
    Yes, n how many days must Elm splits bask
    Before they are up to the task
    The answer, my friend, is blowin in the end
    The answer is blowin in the end.

    Ode to Alderlea
    guest contribution by Begreen
    I should have known youd be hotter than hell
    Theres a lesson to be learned from this and I learned it very well
    Now I know youre not the only big stove in the store
    If I never hear your name again, its a steel stove at the core

    And I think its gonna be all right
    Yeah, the worst is over now
    The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove

    You never cared for a combustor inside
    For you Im just an ornament, somethin for your pride
    Always burnin, never carin, thats the life you live
    Smokey minutes of your time were all you had to give

    And I think its gonna be all right
    Yeah, the worst is over now
    The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove

    Oh, oh, oh
    I think its gonna be all right
    Yeah, the worst is over now
    The mornin sun is shinin like a red Summit stove
    (with profuse apologies to the Cyrkle, Paul Simon and Bruce Woodley)

    Heat Me Jotul

    Well since I put you in Ive been out stackin in the shed
    I tell folks Im so happy
    Happy that you aint red

    Blue/black Jotul you look so fine
    And heat the house in so little time
    Ya gotta heat me Jotul
    Heat till April one more time

    Heat me Jotul.
    Heat, heat me Jotul

    We thought about VC
    But had some questions about the ash pan
    Then we saw a PE Summit
    And that really upset our plan

    Well, Jotul you caught my eye
    And hearth.com gave the reasons why
    That you could heat me Jotul
    Heat till April one more time

    Heat me Jotul
    Heat, heat me Jotul

    - The Beech Boys

    Its the big red Summit headed for Arizona

    The big red Summit headed for Arizona
    (Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
    Aint burnin yet but the PHD says its gonna
    (Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
    And stacked in the racks by the big garage
    Is a pile of pine bigger than the local Elks lodge

    And everybody says that theres nothin funny
    About those stoves you can buy with Candian Tire Money
    They burn real clean and they burn real hot
    And they arent really polished with wild Moose snot.

    Its the big red Summit headed for Arizona

    Took Hunky months but he finally chose her
    (Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
    If the latch aint crooked hell be able to closeer
    (Burn baby, burn baby, burn baby burn)
    Well, hes gonna light a fire now sooner or later
    If he ever figures out just how to uncrateer

    - Jan and Dean Hearth Unlimited

    Holtz Hausen

    Come listen to my story bout a man named Jed
    Poor mountaineer hardly kept his family fed
    Then one day he was chopping up some wood
    When up to his block
    Walked some snotty Canuck dude
    Slick feller. Tasseled loafers. Ascot.

    Well the next thing you know old Jeds installed forced air
    Kin folks said Jed its freezing cold in there
    They said renewable heat is where you oughta be
    So he dusted off the saw and went lookin for a tree
    Bore cut. Hand split. Stacked in a Holtz Hausen.

    Come listen to my story bout a man named Jed
    Poor mountaineer hardly kept his family fed
    Then one day he was chopping up some wood
    When up to his block
    Walked some snotty Canuck dude
    Slick feller. Tasseled loafers. Ascot.

    Well the next thing you know old Jeds installed forced air
    Kin folks said Jed its freezing cold in there
    They said renewable heat is where you oughta be
    So he dusted off the saw and went lookin for a tree
    Bore cut. Hand split. Stacked in a Holtz Hausen.


    Home heating king With no apologies whatsoever to The Monkeys
    Oh, I hide neath sheet
    And hear the furnace start to heat
    And wish the six oclock alarm would never ring
    Whoops its ringing and I rise
    Wipe the frost out of my eyes
    My shaving razors cold and it stings

    Stoke up that mean machine
    Oh, what it will mean
    To a dry wood believer
    And a home heating king

    Stoke up that mean machine
    Oh, what it will mean
    To a dry wood believer
    And a home heating king


    Goodbye for the Summer
    So we gotta say goodbye for the summer
    But burners I promise you this
    Ill be splitting wood
    Every day in the summer
    So that blasted oak wont hiss

    Yes its gonna be a hot, sweaty summer
    But Ill fill the emptiness
    Ill be stacking wood
    Every day in the summer
    So two years from now that oak wont hiss.

    (Sorry about that Bobby Vinton)


    Old black stoves
    I dont want your lonely mansion with a steel stove in every room
    All I wants a blue/black Jotul, that heats a room up soon
    But you think I should be happy with your steel stove and your name
    And hide myself in sorrow while you play that heating game

    Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat this hide of mine
    And I dare not drown my sorrow, in the warm glow of your wine
    You cant buy my love with a Napoleon because I never was that kind
    Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat this hide of mine

    Old black stoves and burning green wood cannot heat, this hide of mine;Brother_Barts_Classic_Hearthsongs