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Holz Hausen

Apr 19, 2013
Holz Hausen
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    Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a simple woodcutter named Obleo who lived in a pointless forest. One day, as Obleo was chopping and stacking his firewood, a magnificent thought occurred to him, "Why must all wood piles look like long rows?"

    Obleo's mind was racing with geometric and trigonometric axioms, theorems, and proofs. Two and three-dimensional objects whirred through his brain like a slot machine, eventually stopping on two cherries and a dome topped cylinder. Subjectively, Obleo was in a deep theta brain wave state, and experiencing the presence of God as he understood God, an abstract concept loosely connected to a fibrous cambium outer layer that nourished the historic deposits he would eventually harvest for the good of all mankind.

    But now, Obleo would stack them in a revolutionary manner. Obleo had been blessed with a near religious epiphany of the perfect conservation of space, utilization of multidirectional wind movement, and ascetic delight. Obleo named his wood heap as Adam might have named a nubile companion. He'd call this wood heap, that he'd cognized from the ancient, etheric akashic records, a Holz Hausen. Yes, a Holz Hausen, he liked the primordial sound of it. And it encompassed the visual suggestion of a wooden house, which was what Holz Hausen meant to Obleo.

    And so it came to pass, Obleo had created the world's first Holz Hausen. We'll examine Obleo's creation in modern times below. ;)