Please help a social moron......
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Defiant
Vermont Castings Geek
I grabbed a cold beer and offered them one, they left.
bubbasdad
Burning Hunk
I generally try to be polite. I just say that I am not interested. I did have one incident, many years ago. I was on midnight shift, no a/c, and it was very hot. I was sleeping during the day, and somebody knocked on the door, despite the sign that said "no solicitation". I answered the door in what I was sleeping in, a old pair of gym shorts, and if I didn't watch it, I was "hanging out", I was 1/2 asleep, and rather pissed off when I got to the door. I opened the door, and 3 women were there. One started talking, then tried to hand me a paper. Then it got weird - the women just about ran away, going back to the car. I was kind of groggy, didn't realize it, old bubbasnake was hanging 1/2 way to my knee. Oopps
stoveguy2esw
Minister of Fire
Ashful
Minister of Fire
No soliciting permitted in my township. Very nice and quiet, as a result. If it bothers you, start a motion to pass a no solicitation law in yours.
My no soliciting sign seems to present a challenge to every religious and political group that comes around. It works good to keep away most salesmen though.
Pete
I prefer the live in the woods method. Nobody makes it to my house on accident. Most of the time I'll see lights coming down the road, they'll see the houses and realize its not a two track, then turn around.
Mrs. Krabappel
Minister of Fire
I have a sign that says no soliciting... .already have my steaks, my religion, cookies, etc. I got it off Amazon for about $15.
If that doesn't stop them than slamming the door on their face or the loud end of a Mossberg usually will.
If that doesn't stop them than slamming the door on their face or the loud end of a Mossberg usually will.
WeldrDave
Feeling the Heat
I go to the door naked ..................purposely
, my wife dont like it but they leave "FAST"... I am a very God fearing man, but don't bang on my door telling me about it and how bad I am
. They usually only come back one a year.
, my wife dont like it but they leave "FAST"... I am a very God fearing man, but don't bang on my door telling me about it and how bad I am. They usually only come back one a year.
firefighterjake
Minister of Fire
Jehovah's Witnesses: Get 'em once in a while. Most usually I find evidence of them with a tract stuffed in my screen door. When I have seen them in person I have politely told them that I am busy or all set and each and every time they have left with no issues.
Telemarketers: We're on the Do Not Call list so this screens out most folks. Occasionally we get a random call from some organization or stranger, but we almost always screen our calls and let the answering machine pick it up and since it is a short, sweet message typically the robot calls don't pick up on the fact that a real person has not answered so we get a lot of "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?"
At work however I get this one company that always calls me to sell me product. I have never and will never buy anything from them. I have been polite with them and told them we are not interested, to take us off their call list, etc. and they still call. Now when I get the call I just set the handset down on my desk and keep working while they prattle away to nobody.
Telemarketers: We're on the Do Not Call list so this screens out most folks. Occasionally we get a random call from some organization or stranger, but we almost always screen our calls and let the answering machine pick it up and since it is a short, sweet message typically the robot calls don't pick up on the fact that a real person has not answered so we get a lot of "Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?"
At work however I get this one company that always calls me to sell me product. I have never and will never buy anything from them. I have been polite with them and told them we are not interested, to take us off their call list, etc. and they still call. Now when I get the call I just set the handset down on my desk and keep working while they prattle away to nobody.
Ashful
Minister of Fire
firefighterjake
Minister of Fire
Part of the phone I have . . . cordless phone's base unit has a built in answering machine.
I think I still have my old tape answering machine somewhere though.
wesessiah
Burning Hunk
we got rid of our home phone... and i guess changing the subject further... because the people that had the number before us were evidently sex offenders that owed a lot of people moneyPart of the phone I have . . . cordless phone's base unit has a built in answering machine.
I think I still have my old tape answering machine somewhere though.
... because the people that had the number before us were evidently sex offenders that owed a lot of people money
Ah. I wondered who got my old phone number.
We don't get em, maybe word got out that I'm also a non-theist. I once had a"God Squad" type ask me if I was "born again." I pulled up my shirt looked down & said: "Nope. Only got one belly button. You get one every time you're born, right?" He just walked away shaking his head...
The No-Call list seems to keep MOST of the telemarketing types away, but if they DO get thru, the women always get the "What are you wearing? Do you have any clothes on? I don't!" routine, as soon as they start their spiel... Most of them hang up immediately...Some just stop talking for a bit...So I hang up on THEM...I just say: "No thank you. Goodbye" to the guys...
The No-Call list seems to keep MOST of the telemarketing types away, but if they DO get thru, the women always get the "What are you wearing? Do you have any clothes on? I don't!" routine, as soon as they start their spiel... Most of them hang up immediately...Some just stop talking for a bit...So I hang up on THEM...I just say: "No thank you. Goodbye" to the guys...
midwestcoast
Minister of Fire
Last time we moved we got the old number of a local strip club. The 2am calls were not quite frequent enough to make us switch numbers & the daytime ones were pretty fun there for a while. Plenty of folks out there now think that club;we got rid of our home phone... and i guess changing the subject further... because the people that had the number before us were evidently sex offenders that owed a lot of people money
- is only open 9 'till five (because we encourage our employees to value their family time)
- only hires performers over 40
- has no cover, but a $15 "suggested donation" to the dancers college fund or rehab center of choice
- occasionaly has a mother/daughter feature act
Years and years ago, when the phone companies transitioned us from the old exchange & number system (like BE 2-9489) to the new 7-digit (232-9489) system, lots of folks would continue to use the 2-letter exchange abbreviation and then dial the new 7-digit number. The phone system recognized the first 7 digits dialed and ignored any others, so if one did this, the call was routed to the wrong recipient. Making this mistake with the phone # for Yellow Cab in Richmond CA resulted in being connected to my grandparents' house. Got pretty irritating, but then my grandpa turned it into a source of amusement, as he would ask the caller where he wanted the cab, and promise that one would be on the way shortly. 
In college I worked nights as a computer operator. Our stores dialed into a bank of the old AT&T Dataphones to transmit orders. They would ring once ad then connect if it was a data call. If one kept ringing I knew it was a wrong number. One of them always got calls for Pizza Hut. After a while I just started taking the orders and going back to work.
One night one of the other ones was ringing. A young sounding woman asked if our meters showed a power outage. I surmised that she thought she had reached to electric company. She said the power was off and asked if there was a failure. I asked her to look out the window and see if the neighbor's lights were on and she said they were not and that her husband should be home in a few minutes. I told her we would appreciate it if she would go out and sit on the curb and wait for the truck we were sending out. Wouldn't have done it if the husband's arrival wasn't imminent.
I have always wondered what happened when the husband got home and found her sitting on the curb.
One night one of the other ones was ringing. A young sounding woman asked if our meters showed a power outage. I surmised that she thought she had reached to electric company. She said the power was off and asked if there was a failure. I asked her to look out the window and see if the neighbor's lights were on and she said they were not and that her husband should be home in a few minutes. I told her we would appreciate it if she would go out and sit on the curb and wait for the truck we were sending out. Wouldn't have done it if the husband's arrival wasn't imminent.
I have always wondered what happened when the husband got home and found her sitting on the curb.
I get constant cold calls for all things hardware and software.
"Hello - I understand that you are the person responsible for xxxx"
"No-no, thats not me, thats Bob, allow me to transfer you". CLICK
Inevitable call back:
"I think I got disconnected during the transfer"
"Oh, really? Did it sound like this?" CLICK.
"Hello - I understand that you are the person responsible for xxxx"
"No-no, thats not me, thats Bob, allow me to transfer you". CLICK
Inevitable call back:
"I think I got disconnected during the transfer"
"Oh, really? Did it sound like this?" CLICK.
Thistle
Minister of Fire
I like doing this once in a while to 'wrong numbers' -
"Is (insert random female name) there?" "Nope,she just left & was quite pissed off,you better steer clear of her when she gets home...."
"Is (insert random female name) there?" "Nope,she just left & was quite pissed off,you better steer clear of her when she gets home...."
blacktail
Minister of Fire
Badfish740
Minister of Fire
- Oct 3, 2007
- 1,539
I usually come to the door like this with "Goodbye Horses" playing in the background-works every time:
Just kidding... The last time they showed up my wife said, "No thank you, we're happily Catholic." They actually chuckled a little and went on their way.
I let the Kirby guy in once, with the understanding that I was buying NOTHING. After he went thru his deal, and I told him again that I wasn't buying anything, we shot a couple games of nine ball until his ride showed up. The boss wasn't taking no for an answer, and before long that $1700 vacuum was under 800 bucks. It was actually entertaining.
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