How to get the other half on board???

[firefighterjake]

Random thoughts . . .

Lots of good advice . . . probably the best advice is to figure out why the other person in the relationship is not so keen on the woodstove and then see if there is a compromise. If it's the potential mess, make sure things are kept tidy. If it's the time commitment to processing the wood, see if you can buy the wood. If it's the temperature swing, see if you cannot set the thermostat higher so there is not such a dramatic shift in the temps . . . etc.

I think we here at hearth.com are pretty fortunate to have some very cool "chicks" -- Dixie, Gyrfalcon, Mrs. Krapappel, Eclecticcottage and others.

Since I am a guy I have no other sage advice to offer . . . I think most everything else has already been said . . . one of the best lessons I have learned after being married to a great partner (she truly completes me) is that sometimes it is just wiser to shut up and not say anything.

 

[firefighterjake]

in my area... it would seem that about 60-70% of people heat with wood.

Ditto . . . On the positive side it means you have someone to talk about wood burning (even if many are doing it "wrong" ) . . . On the negative side it means scrounging for wood can be pretty tough.

 

[firebroad]

Move somewhere that has only oil heat.
Show her the oil bill.
Order wood.

 

[lml999]

I wish I got longer burn times, but my pre-EPA stove only gives me about 3-4 hours per cycle.

I purchased my first wood stove about 6 or 8 years ago. I've learned a lot over those years, and burn time would be one of the two key factors I'd look at for my next stove. (The other would be ease of use. My stove is easy to use, not sure I'd want to go to a cat stove due to the extra work involved.)

I'd love to load my stove in the evening and find it still putting out heat in the morning. Right now I'm working through a load of small splits; with larger splits it will be a bit better. We have managed to keep the oil burner off when I'm home, so it's not too bad...

To the OP's question -- my wife went along with the purchase as part of shifting costs from oil heat. We have certainly done that. She will occasionally try to build a fire, but hasn't really learned how. I'm okay with that. I'm perfectly happy to manage the stove, and am also just as happy to not worry about a runaway stove due to improper usage while I'm away. My wife is not mechanically inclined. She has other traits which endear me to her...mostly that she continues to put up with me.

 

[lml999]

We're married 15 yrs so we have things worked out.

For the sake of the archives...

We're married 27 years and we're *still* figuring things out.

Marital relationships are a moving target. Keep working at it!

 

[Oregon aloha]

Married 33 years now and I agree with lml999, marriage is always moving and not always forward.

For us choosing a wood stove, it needed to to very easy to operate, simple in design with a large fire view. My wife was afraid of the new stove, because I send too much time on this forum learning about EPA stoves. Once she got cold and turned on the annoying forced air heat that didn't give her that wood warm feel, she embraced the new stove and in short order she became better at using the stove then I.

You shouldn't push the idea, just let it happen. Women like to be warm and wood heat provides warmth that no other fuel can equal.

 

[Bret Chase]

Ditto . . . On the positive side it means you have someone to talk about wood burning (even if many are doing it "wrong" ) . . . On the negative side it means scrounging for wood can be pretty tough.

I have no need to scrounge... I have access to more than 100 acres... I still haven't finished up a 100' field line of dead locust.... and I've already pulled 6+ chord out of it...

 

[becasunshine]

Married 33 years now and I agree with lml999, marriage is always moving and not always forward.

For us choosing a wood stove, it needed to to very easy to operate, simple in design with a large fire view. My wife was afraid of the new stove, because I send too much time on this forum learning about EPA stoves. Once she got cold and turned on the annoying forced air heat that didn't give her that wood warm feel, she embraced the new stove and in short order she became better at using the stove then I.

You shouldn't push the idea, just let it happen. Women like to be warm and wood heat provides warmth that no other fuel can equal.

Oregon Aloha, I still think that you have a particularly attractive dog in front of your stove. We also love the area in which you live.

 

[Bones]

Always be willing to help......

A caring husband sees that his wife is busy in the kitchen and offers to help.
He: “My dear, what can I do to help you?”
She: “Take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them, and put them in the big pot to cook.”

 

[Oregon aloha]

Oregon Aloha, I still think that you have a particularly attractive dog in front of your stove.

The trouble is she knows she's attractive and uses it to her advantage. Good looking in a life vest also. Mine just can't stay out of the water and loves to swim. You'd never know her Mom is a pure bred Boxer. As in the photo, that's her favorite spot to hang out on these cold days.

 

[jatoxico]

For the sake of the archives...

We're married 27 years and we're *still* figuring things out.

Marital relationships are a moving target. Keep working at it!

Yeah fair enough , can't get complacent or it will get chilly no matter how hot the stove is!

 

[Baker_Falcon]

I would say, as a rule of thumb, if you are doing things the right way you will get the

"Can you make a fire tonight?"

 

[becasunshine]

<---- Our friends and neighbors sort of giggle at Sam's life vest because he swims like, well, like a Labbie. He swims like he breathes, and like you and your dog, we can't keep him out of the water. <:3~ The boat sort of frustrates him because he doesn't understand why we are all not in the water! We keep the vest on him in the boat for a few reasons: 1. In case there is an accident, we don't have to worry about getting a vest on him then, especially if, God forbid, he or we or both are injured, 2. He's not a big fan of jumping into water, so we actually have to help him get into the water from the swim platform, but just in case he ever does decide to jump out of the boat, we know that he has his vest on, which can be important in that: 3. The bright yellow makes him more visible in the water when we are stationary and he is swimming around the boat, 4. It puts a handle on his back, which helps us get him in and out of the boat in swimming situations, and in other situations where boarding and disembarking are challenging for him.

OK, sorry to hijack the thread, back to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progress.

 

[eclecticcottage]

Our pure bred lab sinks like a rock and can't swim at all.

Bones that is hilarous.

 

[jatoxico]

I would say, as a rule of thumb, if you are doing things the right way you will get the

"Can you make a fire tonight?"

I think you are right about that!

 

[dyerkutn]

The physical work still looms large and I'm trying not to lose sight of that.

that is why I purchase--and my son and I tag team for the stacking---I mostly do the stove and he "helps" --and has been pretty receptive to the suggestions I keep passing along to him from this forum. I definitely am getting the hang of those get-hot-quick-no-smoke fires

 

[Snotrocket]

in my area... it would seem that about 60-70% of people heat with wood.

I agree. Here in Maine it seems every other house has a big pile of wood sitting outside.

 

[Snotrocket]

I have no need to scrounge... I have access to more than 100 acres... I still haven't finished up a 100' field line of dead locust.... and I've already pulled 6+ chord out of it...

Where in Maine are you? I'm in Warren.

 

[Paulywalnut]

I'm no marriage counselor but get this straight before a wedding. I broke up with a girl because she wasn't an eagles fan.
I do clean up ashes and dropped bits and pieces. keep a little vac close by and use it daily to keep it all nice and neat.
Nothing warms like wood heat. An unhappy wife can make it a very cold room or life.

 

[Saddle Mander]

There must be some sort of neurological or psychological or just plain logical pathway that explains the difference

This week I saw a banner headline on the Wall Street Journal that said "Women's Brains ARE Different"

(But I didn't pick it up or read the article.)

 

[ColdNH]

My wife is the definition of a princess, never done a day of hard work in her life. Certainly never dealt with firewood or a wood stove. Well after buying our first house and having electric heat only we got sick of paying high winter electric bills and she was sick of always being cold. so we got our first stove. she was sold on it from day one. at the end of the day she was very warm even on the coldest of days and our electric bill went from 400$ a month back to 100$$.

She will even start fires from nothing and keep the fire going when I am away. she's actually a better fire starter then I am. I would say success!

My advice, let the stove go cold for one winter, watch the heating bills skyrocket, and her endure living with the thermostat set at 65

 

[Craig S.]

My wife was sold immediately after showing her the bill from the prior winters' oil deliveries . Over $4 per gallon put a fill at almost $900, and we need 2 or 3 fills during the cold months. So far this winter, the baseboard heat has not come on yet.

The swing in temps is problematic, but I never turned the heat up in the house anywhere near where the wood stove gets it (even at the the low). I work from home so I'm around to do most of the reloading, but if I'm not, I make sure the wood is there for her, and she does fine. The upstairs of the house doesn't get too hot, but my wife sleeps with a heated blanket even if I turned the baseboards on. I saw a suggestion earlier in the thread to set your thermostat where its comfortable ... could help with the swings.

 

[Proud Sub Vet]

I know what you mean about when the wife is not onboard... I had a Jotul F3 installed 2 seasons ago - it was a novelty for her for about a month and now it is no more than a hearth ornament!! (she works days, I work evenings so I would come home to a ~200-225 degree stove and a 60 degree house). I guess 'tinkering' with a fire did nothing for her whereas I grew up with a wood stove and just love the fire, heat, crackling, 'fiddling' with it to get it just right, etc.

Anyway, after 2 seasons, the good ol' F3 is being replaced with a submarine sailor-proof version of a real wood stove... a pellet stove! (at least I'll be able to return home before the darn thing runs out of pellets - at least that's the plan).