Living frugal, practical, saving money and raising healthy children

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A lot of great advice. As an self employed/unemployed/self employed .........builder we do not have the nicest house,yard,car,toys...etc.This is a direct result of our priorities.I have friends that have all these, some having to move to get them, but I do not see an increase in their families happiness. Often much less. But we do have a fair amount of family time. We could be riding bike ,hiking,spending time at camp,fishing... But we do get to spend a good amount of time as a family. One thing is for certain, I will never die stressing over the occasionally unkempt yard,house or the new truck I did not buy.
 
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Adios Pantalones said:
Reducing the impact on the environment through our choices seems wise- just pointing out that not putting more people on the Earth could be part of that choice.
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The trouble here, Adios... is you're the demographic we need to have kids. The ever-shrinking intellectual component of our society is being swamped by those at the bottom, mindlessly cranking out kids three and four at a time.

Lake Girl said:
As to morals and values, my husband and I made the choice of one working parent when our kids were younger. Why have children if someone else is going to raise them (ie day care)?
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I respect your decision, but I wouldn't be too quick to criticize those who allow others to do the day-to-day either. You gotta do what works for your family. It seems those allowing others to "raise their kids" aren't doing too poorly.

http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/listing-alumni.php
 
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For us the cost of daycare for 3 kids was not worth the wife working. Im sure thats a factor in many cases. Single parent families
have it that much harder.
 
Adios Pantalones said:
Not sure how I was quoted talking about my husband. I hope he's handsome.
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AP-stop lusting after LakeGirl's man! :p

Lake Girl said:
As to morals and values, my husband and I made the choice of one working parent when our kids were younger. Why have children if someone else is going to raise them (ie day care)?
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I have to chime in here too-looks like LakeGirl lives in rural Ontario. Biiiiiiiig difference in cost of living, job opportunities, available social services, etc...between there and the states, especially metro areas of the Northeast where many of us live. It's a Catch 22-where I live, if you want a home of your own and a child or two, you need a total household income of $90-100K because of housing costs, taxes, commuting costs, taxes, daycare costs, and oh yeah, more taxes.
 
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Joful said:
I respect your decision, but I wouldn't be too quick to criticize those who allow others to do the day-to-day either. You gotta do what works for your family. It seems those allowing others to "raise their kids" aren't doing too poorly.
http://www.boardingschoolreview.com/listing-alumni.php
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Absolutely,very common among professionals.Both parents working. Does not reflect one way or the other as to the sincerity of the parent.
 
Mrs. Krabappel said:
Parenting rule#1 Visibly, openly, physically, unconditionally love on your kids all the time.
Parenting rule #2 See rule #1
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The most common defense of all bad parents: "I'm a good parent, I love my kids."

I suspect the best parents are those who are sort of on the fence about their kids. :p
 
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Joful said:
The most common defense of all bad parents: "I'm a good parent, I love my kids."

I suspect the best parents are those who are sort of on the fence about their kids. :p
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Then I must be a bad parent because rule #1 is exactly what I am doing. Does not mean I approve of all their behaviors or don't see their weaknesses but that does not impact my love for them one iota. Btw. The best parenting approach I have encountered so far: http://www.amazon.com/Duct-Tape-Parenting-Respectful-Responsible/dp/1937134180 It can be tough but I can see every day the benefits of it.
 
Joful said:
The mod's will have to tell you why.
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I am aware of no mod actions on this. My bet is that is was a flub while quoting a previous post.

Confirmed - you are missing [/quote] after APs part of the post.
 
Yeah. When a post is edited the last edit date and time shows up in the bottom right corner of the post.

ETA: Like this one.
 
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Doh! I don't even have fat fingers to blame. I'll blame the sugar high... we had Honey Comb in the house this morning, a rare treat!

Thanks, guys. I'll go fix the post.
 
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Joful said:
Doh! I don't even have fat fingers to blame. I'll blame the sugar high... we had Honey Comb in the house this morning, a rare treat!

Thanks, guys. I'll go fix the post.
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Well, whatever happened- I want to thank you for introducing me to Chad. We are very happy
 
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Woodman37 said:
I am 38 years old and the father of two healthy beautiful children. I guess what I try to get across to my kids is family is everything. I see the effects broken homes have on kids and I think that is what's wrong now a days. No one tries anymore divorce is easy. I have been married for 14 years which is unusual now a days particularly in my age group. I have worked for everything I have and do my best to provide a good home life for my family. I try hard to teach my kids what was taught to me by my grandfather. Things most young kids don't do now a days. Like changing your own oil and knowing a little bit about most things so you aren't helpless. It's the little things that I hope will give my kids a good head start in life.
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Good point about no one trying anymore. As a society we've become too soft. If it's not fast, cheap or easy it must not be worthwhile. I blame technology in large part for this. Technology is causing us to lose our humanity.

I'm glad that a lot of people have contributed such thoughtful ideas on raising children in life in general. I apologize for my tendency to harp on certain things but frequently I see things which I find so objectionable that I just have to say WTF? and cannot let go.

I'm still relatively new at being a parent and I guess some day I'll come to terms with the facts that I cannot protect my children from the world and that they are ultimately going to be what they'll be rather than my idealized version of them. I don't imagine that it's going to be easy at all but if I don't deal with it eventually it will only prove counterproductive to their development into healthy, well adjusted, independent adults.
 
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Dana B said:
Technology is causing us to lose our humanity.
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Wow, if there's one thing that MADE us human and still sets us apart from the rest of the animal species, it technology.
 
Dana B said:
I'm still relatively new at being a parent and I guess some day I'll come to terms with the facts that I cannot protect my children from the world and that they are ultimately going to be what they'll be rather than my idealized version of them.
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Whoa - I think that was a giant growing moment right there. This is not intended to be a snarky comment, and is heart felt.
 
Badfish740 said:
AP-stop lusting after LakeGirl's man! :p



I have to chime in here too-looks like LakeGirl lives in rural Ontario. Biiiiiiiig difference in cost of living, job opportunities, available social services, etc...between there and the states, especially metro areas of the Northeast where many of us live. It's a Catch 22-where I live, if you want a home of your own and a child or two, you need a total household income of $90-100K because of housing costs, taxes, commuting costs, taxes, daycare costs, and oh yeah, more taxes.
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Hey, he's mine;lol (Edit - caught the mess up but just playing...)

We lived in the Toronto and Niagara Region for a while ... not for us. I left a well paying job in the 90s ($32,000/year) to stay home with our children (we planned on four and had a surprise twin set!). Our income at that time was less than my FIL's pension from the Ontario Provincial Police. My comment was specific to the lament of others having influence over morals and values of your children ... if it is that big of a concern, make some tough choices like we did.

Housing may be cheaper but other factors are significant to cost of living - groceries, gas, heating fuel, electric, internet, clothes, household items are more expensive than in the US plus 13% sales tax. Social services ;lol There was one daycare in the whole district when kids were little! Two now. Maternity leave is better but the change to 1 year parental leave was after I left work. Property taxes are cheaper where we live but also have 0 municipal services - no water, sewer, mass transit, or garbage service. Unlike many of our peers, we have one house at the lake - the norm is a house in town and cabin at the lake. We have an hour commute to work and took a lot of ribbing for having a "matchbox" car but it saved a lot on gas. CN rail was a large employer at one time - not so much for many years. The paper mill has been in decline for the last 10 years and is now mothballed. The OSB mill is the only "industry" left at this point. There is hope for a gold mine in 2 years but no guarantee that they won't just sit on it depending on gold prices. Tourism is suffering due to harsh economies in the US and Canada. And the new Ontario budget calls for increased taxes....

As to social medicine, I won't be bankrupt but I've been waiting 5 years to get a surgery to remove overactive parathyroids - I had to quit work again (muscle & bone pain, headaches, fatigue) and should have had surgery by recognized guidelines but didn't get it - GP now trying to go straight to a surgeon. I want some semblance of my life back...
 
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Dana B said:
I'm still relatively new at being a parent and I guess some day I'll come to terms with the facts that I cannot protect my children from the world and that they are ultimately going to be what they'll be rather than my idealized version of them. I don't imagine that it's going to be easy at all but if I don't deal with it eventually it will only prove counterproductive to their development into healthy, well adjusted, independent adults.
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This is my biggest struggle as well, esp. with a 10 year old girl...If I have one failing as a father, it is probably being too easy on her... She is a softy like me. Only thing is, I am a 240# bear that only my friends know is a softy ..lol
 
Longevity in marriage is a tricky one. When looking for a spouse my criteria was simple. If i ever found someone i couldnt live without id marry her. Didnt really think it would happen. At the ripe old age of 38 It did,and it lasted 20 years so far,so good.
 
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