Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Nov 22, 2005.
You only have hair on the back of your hands from May to November.
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Never have to trim your eye lashes
or always cleanning the hearth so the wife is not pissed
You get some wood you've never had before (Apple, Cherry, Locust, etc) and plan an afternoon or evening around burning it to enjoy it's special characteristics.
"I've been saving this bottle of wine for a special occasion......"
Your side of the garage is full of wood; Your wife's side has just enough room to get her little car in.
If you can't remember last night's movie, but think back fondly to the glow and burn of that applewood fire last month.
At a wine tasting you describe the Cabarnet as "Oaky with just a hint of creosote.".
You know what the word 'gassification' means.
Suburban neighbors smell your wood smoke at 5am and consider dialing 911.
You watch the paper for wood smoke complaints and develop stealth burning techniques.
Your wife rolls her eyes in the car whenever she sees you scanning for 'recycle' wood.
She is mortified when you stop and "pick up someone elses trash".
The first thing you examine while driving in a new neighborhood are the chimneys.
You wonder how you ever got by without a wood stove.
I don't know. If they are sharing their $200 wine I don't want to discourage them.
You dont have to trim your G Damn nose hairs
You've been sleepwalking and in the morning you find a piece of birch crammed in the microwave...
When you talk to co-workers about how warm you keep your house during the winter.
If you are single: 62*
If you are married no kid: 65*
If you are married with Kids: 68*
If your a wood burner: 75*
Oh boy, that is dead on for me, except i can get half the house to 80* (which my wife and I love) without pushing the wood burner.
If you wear long sleeves to work to cover your addiction's embarrassing track marks.
Before settling down to watch TV in your favorite chair you change into shorts and a tee shirt
You have a logsplitter in the living room
You have hair on the back of your hands?
LOL... I don't have any... guess I'm not a real wood-burner...
I don't have hair on the back of my hands. My palms- that's a different story.
The mark of a hairy potter...
When you tell your 2 y/o to go check on the fire and she knows exactly what that means and reports back, "the meedle on the white" or "da da fire big".
Better yet when she tells me that "da da you fire need more wood"
You're the only one outside working by choice when its 15 degrees to get ready for next year. C/s/s!
Your wife makes you report to the laundry to remove wood chips from your pockets before she will do the wash.
You make wheel barrel paths all around the house with a snow blower
Hah! I've got wheelbarrow paths through the kitchen and livingroom! Priorities- large stack of wood next to the stove, or pretty carpet. Plus, it was the wifes idea.
You are reading a post titled "You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner Ifâ€¦" in the Hearth forum....
guilty as charged
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