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You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner If...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Nov 22, 2005.

  1. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    29,152
    Loc:
    Northern Virginia
    You only have hair on the back of your hands from May to November.

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  2. elkimmeg

    elkimmeg Guest

    Never have to trim your eye lashes
    or always cleanning the hearth so the wife is not pissed
  3. DavidV

    DavidV New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2005
    Messages:
    792
    Loc:
    Richmond VA
    You get some wood you've never had before (Apple, Cherry, Locust, etc) and plan an afternoon or evening around burning it to enjoy it's special characteristics.
    "I've been saving this bottle of wine for a special occasion......"
  4. Eric Johnson

    Eric Johnson Mod Emeritus

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    5,707
    Loc:
    Central NYS
    Your side of the garage is full of wood; Your wife's side has just enough room to get her little car in.
  5. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    49,107
    Loc:
    South Puget Sound, WA
    If you can't remember last night's movie, but think back fondly to the glow and burn of that applewood fire last month.
  6. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    29,152
    Loc:
    Northern Virginia
    At a wine tasting you describe the Cabarnet as "Oaky with just a hint of creosote.".
  7. Mo Heat

    Mo Heat Mod Emeritus

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    848
    Loc:
    St. Louis, Missouri
    You know what the word 'gassification' means.
    Suburban neighbors smell your wood smoke at 5am and consider dialing 911.
    You watch the paper for wood smoke complaints and develop stealth burning techniques.
    Your wife rolls her eyes in the car whenever she sees you scanning for 'recycle' wood.
    She is mortified when you stop and "pick up someone elses trash".
    The first thing you examine while driving in a new neighborhood are the chimneys.
    You wonder how you ever got by without a wood stove.
  8. DavidV

    DavidV New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2005
    Messages:
    792
    Loc:
    Richmond VA
    I don't know. If they are sharing their $200 wine I don't want to discourage them.
  9. babalu87

    babalu87 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    1,440
    Loc:
    middleborough, ma.
    You dont have to trim your G Damn nose hairs
    HOOORAY!
  10. Willhound

    Willhound Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2005
    Messages:
    441
    Loc:
    Northern Ontario, Canada
    You've been sleepwalking and in the morning you find a piece of birch crammed in the microwave...
  11. tsquini

    tsquini Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    577
    Loc:
    North Shore, MA
    When you talk to co-workers about how warm you keep your house during the winter.

    If you are single: 62*
    If you are married no kid: 65*
    If you are married with Kids: 68*
    If your a wood burner: 75*
  12. xjcamaro89

    xjcamaro89 Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    112
    Loc:
    New Castle, PA
    Oh boy, that is dead on for me, except i can get half the house to 80* (which my wife and I love) without pushing the wood burner.
  13. logger

    logger Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    687
    Loc:
    Pine Barrens, NJ
    If you wear long sleeves to work to cover your addiction's embarrassing track marks.
  14. Got Wood

    Got Wood Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2008
    Messages:
    920
    Loc:
    Dutchess Cty, NY
    Before settling down to watch TV in your favorite chair you change into shorts and a tee shirt
  15. closedknuckle

    closedknuckle Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2009
    Messages:
    25
    Loc:
    midwest
    You have a logsplitter in the living room
  16. CountryBoy19

    CountryBoy19 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jul 29, 2010
    Messages:
    582
    Loc:
    Southern IN
    You have hair on the back of your hands?

    LOL... I don't have any... guess I'm not a real wood-burner...
  17. Adios Pantalones

    Adios Pantalones Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    6,443
    Loc:
    S.NH- Mass's smoking section
    I don't have hair on the back of my hands. My palms- that's a different story.
  18. DanCorcoran

    DanCorcoran Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    2,080
    Loc:
    Richmond, VA
    The mark of a hairy potter...
  19. ckarotka

    ckarotka Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2009
    Messages:
    643
    Loc:
    Northwest PA on the lake
    When you tell your 2 y/o to go check on the fire and she knows exactly what that means and reports back, "the meedle on the white" or "da da fire big".
    Better yet when she tells me that "da da you fire need more wood"
  20. Wingman

    Wingman Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2010
    Messages:
    137
    Loc:
    St. Louis
    You're the only one outside working by choice when its 15 degrees to get ready for next year. C/s/s!
  21. jimbom

    jimbom Combustion Analyzer

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    1,022
    Loc:
    Missouri Ozarks
    Your wife makes you report to the laundry to remove wood chips from your pockets before she will do the wash.
  22. tsquini

    tsquini Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    577
    Loc:
    North Shore, MA
    You make wheel barrel paths all around the house with a snow blower
  23. Beetle-Kill

    Beetle-Kill Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,849
    Loc:
    Colorado- near the Divide
    Hah! I've got wheelbarrow paths through the kitchen and livingroom! Priorities- large stack of wood next to the stove, or pretty carpet. Plus, it was the wifes idea.
  24. tynman

    tynman New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    36
    Loc:
    Atlanta, GA
    You are reading a post titled "You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner If…" in the Hearth forum....
  25. bambam

    bambam Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2009
    Messages:
    120
    Loc:
    south/central Pa
    guilty as charged

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