You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

And the occasional scorch mark on the same arm as the hinge side of your stove

Maybe you should change it to "You know you are a rookie wood burner when..."

...when you don't measure a log before sticking it into a side load door only to realize it won't fit AND its already engulfed in flames (as you run towards the nearest door with a smoking log in your hands and your wife wondering what the heck you are doing).

...when you decide its easier to drive a load of wood around to the back yard where your woodpile is only to get stuck in the mud and have to get your neighbor to help push.

...when you can no longer drive anywhere without spotting free wood along the way.

You have 7 different brooms, brushes, pans and bins in your living room

Am I the only guy who lays down on the floor in front of the woodstove like the fat lazy dog that I am?!?!?!?! It's warmer there and I can watch both the burn and the TV.

You remember splitting that knarly piece and take great pleasure in watching the btu's it gives off

When you'll hit the brakes and look PAST the beautiful blond, jogging in tight shorts so you can see the pile of free wood by the curb behind her!

Hi, my name is Mike and I'm a wood burning addict... Wow that felt good :lol: Only 11 steps to go...

Glad to know that I'm not the only one...

you get irritated by warm temps in late november because you can't run the stove.

the lawn mower, weed wacker,outdoor furniture, holiday decorations- etc, sit out in the elements because the shed is full of seasoned wood! No theres no tarps to cover em, they are used on the seasoning wood!

You stop doing something important to go get some free wood you just found cause you know it wont be there 2 days from now.

the shop vac has a permanent place in your living room

Dont feel bad , your not alone brotherman.

How about when you take your free time and post to a hearth forum on a thread titled :
"You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When…"

- You can't get the car out of the garage until you split the pile of wood blocking the door.

- You scare your wife as you point out free pallets as you drive by on the highway.

- You spend 2 hours researching wireless indoor/outdoor temperature/humidity weather centers so you can place sensors in various rooms of the house.

- Your wife tells you to rake the leaves before they decompose into the lawn instead of splitting wood today.

When bar and chain oil starts to smell good

and when you take your shorts off to get into the shower you leave some sawdust on the floor!


Rugged!

You keep checking the forum to view new posts on a daily, hourly, oh........................ what the heck minute basis.

When you visit a non-burning friends house and 70 feels cold.

When you've been staring at the fire too long, and absent-mindedly point the TV remote at the firebox to check the score on the game on the "other" channel...

To you...

"Log on" is not a computer term.
"Cord" is not a car.
"Morning wood" is nothing to be embarrassed about.
"Cat" is not a pet.
"Flaming" is not gay.
"Damper" has nothing to do with moisture.

You bring up the cost of natural gas and utility bills at parties, gatherings, work, with strangers at the hardware store, because you want to hear how much more they are paying than you.

Your wife wants to leave her sisters house to get home to the wood stove

You know exactly how much wood the trunk and back seat of a Dodge Neon will handle.

You know the spceies of a tree with no leaves or bark and how many btu's/lb it is.

You can't actually remember the last time you lit your fire...it's been going since the weather turned.