i have a harman sf-160 and have had all the same questions you have. i'm no expert for certain, but following a chimney/attic fire last feb., i've learned a lot and have been forced to work on fine-tuning my wood burning. i can tell you what has worked for me. lately, i have been burning in the afternoon to night and morning like you----finding it difficult to have embers in the morning. i laid three 4"x6" pieces of 3/16" steel plate in the back of my boiler (just three days ago. like some others here i throw a split, a small round log, and a coffee can full of coal on the fire before going to bed---tossing the coal toward the back where the steel now resides. last three days i have awoke to 2-3" of coals on the steel "shelf", rake em, and throw on a couple small splits, and she's rollin.
cant stress enough-----BURN DRY WOOD. ask me how i know----you dont want to have an education like i got on creosote. try not to idle. ever.---run on the edge of not keeping up and hit the dump zone once in a while to keep up the demand. if your harman is anything like mine; you will rip through some wood. but, the project had to make financial sense, so with our short heating season, a gasser (which i would love) was too expensive. especially with the abundance of wood around here. so you will trade efficiency for wood volume.
ask questions here---theres a great bunch of guys on here with a wealth of knowledge and practical experience---they have helped me immensely. another great resource for wood boiler tech is jeff from maine wood furnaces dot com. great guy--always willing to help.
i would recommend using the harman as an add-on to either an oil boiler or a knight 90+ gas boiler (propane fired if youre too far from the gas line) this will take a lot of pressure off of you with the wood boiler---it's nice to be independent, but also nice to worry less. i only burn when the temps are below 40 and some days not at all. i heat about 3200 sq. ft of house, domestic hot water for a family of five, and 1000 sq. ft. finished basement---since october, i have been averaging 1.5-2 gallons of oil per day. i used to burn 8 gallons a day to heat this dinosaur. my goal was to minimize my oil consumption; so far, so good.
using an indirect water heater (megastore) will also help you out. you will heat more water less often, using less energy---try to use your hot water the most when youre burning the most; we run the dishwasher, do laundry, and get showers in the evening when the harman is kickin'.
harman builds a nice unit---a little low-tech, but a great stove for the money. do yourself a favor and ask your questions here---the weakest link at harman is their customer/tech service. THEY SUCK! the guy who answers the tech line sounds about as pleasant as an enima and they always puke up the same answer, "we build them, we don't operate them" if they had just one guy with some hvac/boiler knowledge, they would be a great company. or atleast someone who has used the product giving honest experienced answers
you should be able to set your aquastat up to trigger anything---it's just a switch like any other, but works off a heat signal.
i set my high limit on the wood unit between 175-180---a little low to make sure the dump zone will work on time if called upon. dont get caught up trying to always maintain 180 degrees---thats how i screwed up last year. you will idle a lot.---that's No Bueno for the chinmey. allow it to fluctuate between 140 and 190---its okay if it goes down, you can always heat it back up---let it move like that and you will idle less. when it's low, stoke up a nice hot fire that will burn clean and raise the temps where you want.
i try to do a nice hot burnout once a day or once every two days---open up that door and let her rock up to about 500-550 on the smokepipe. ive burned nearly two cords and the chimney sweep took a coffee can worth of nice gray soot out of my 30' flue pipe.---he said keep burning the way i have.
program your thermostats in the house rather than using the boiler controls to help you make it thru the night with heat---lower when sleeping and out of the house. i actually prop the air intake on my harman open full time. i have my set screw turned in so the damper door opens about half way---on colder days, i open it a little more or open the knobs on the door. if i hit 200 and the dump zone opens, its okay---its my basement so i still benefit from the heat.
make sure you have ample expansion---i was steaming off a lot this year--a few guys on the forum helped me out with the expansion and viola! havent been about 24 lbs. once since adding the additional extrol----with the potential to reach very high temps quickly, its important to have.
sorry for the long-winded reply, but i realize how little info there is out there about real usage of these thing---figure more info was better. hope this helps.