This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women - she loved to browse.
One day, Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart:
* * * * *
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
bag of M&M;'s on layaway.
September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
October 4: Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look, "by using different sizes of funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
And last, but not least....
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly,"Hey! There's no toilet paper in he re."
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men - he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women - she loved to browse.
One day, Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart:
* * * * *
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
bag of M&M;'s on layaway.
September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
and blankets from the bedding department.
October 4: Looked right into the security camera and
used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look, "by using different sizes of funnels.
December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
And last, but not least....
December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly,"Hey! There's no toilet paper in he re."
