Do you control the fire or do you have help?

[stanleyjohn]

Since i got my new insert real late in the season and used it only 4 times!this coming season will be my first complete one.As of now I will be the master of the fire!wife is afraid to handle it.Who is the keeper of the flame in your home?and any tips on getting the wife to help out?PS!Its just my wife and i and two cats here.

 

[Backwoods Savage]

No reason for the wife not to assist. It was easy teaching my wife how to do it; perhaps because she wanted to know how. When my son put in an insert, his wife had never been exposed to heating with wood. Took very little time for her to learn. Nope, no reason for a wife to back away from such an easy task.

 

[fossil]

My wife does everything but hand splitting. She enjoys stacking wood, she carries wood, she builds and tends fires. When we started out burning, she didn't want to operate the stove, and I didn't push her to learn, she just gradually became comfortable with it on her own by watching what I did. So these days, it's whoever gets up first (I make it a point to lay around in bed for a while ) Rick

 

[gerry100]

Just play with adjustment as you're burning.

In not too long you'll get a feel for it and you'll be able to dial it in without much htought.

 

[sixminus1]

As long as your wife's fear of the fire can be turned into a healthy respect for it, she'll do fine sharing the responsibility.

Over here it's me and two cats, but my girlfriend spends a lot of time here.

GF initially sat back and let me manage everything -- lifting, cutting, splitting, stacking, and burning. One day recently, instead of sitting around while I was processing a load of firewood, she put on work clothes and started helping me with it. I taught her how to use the chainsaw, the splitter, and the maul/wedge. There are few things more satisfying than hearing your woman say, "We need to buy a more powerful chainsaw".

With regard to burning, I discovered that welding gloves (3 pairs for $9 at Harbor Freight) helped alleviate her fear of reloading the stove. The gloves go nearly up to the elbow. You can get a lot of work done with a blazing hot stove without coming close to burning your hands.

We've started a small contest around all of it. Whose cuts/splits are more uniform, whose load burns better, etc. She's competitive, so this helps to keep her interested. She always wins. This means that we both win.

Heating with wood has so many things that resonate with both genders. We get to play with power tools, we can be barefoot in the living room when it's brutally cold outside, we spend a lot of time together, and we cut the gas bill in half.

It is a lot more fun because we work on it together. She now understands (and participates in) my obsession... except for staring at the woodpiles, but I think that's specifically reserved for guys with cold beers. Also, I doubt that I'll ever get her to help me clean the chimney, but that's understandable

Give it some time, and she'll take an interest.

 

[Carl]

After a while and she gets used to the wood stove she will help. My wife does help. She was a little afraid of the new woodstove this Feb but one day when I came home late she had the fire going wanting to get warmer than the furnace is allowed to do. We usually try to do most things together. She will go get wood, load it, and stack it but won't run any of the power equipment. Most men, not all, are brought up running power tools so they can jump right in with just a little safty class. Most women aren't brought up that way so steer shy of running equipment. I think more and more women are getting into the swing of things today due to the necessity of it.

 

[begreen]

My wife handles the fire when I am away at work. She tends to stick to smaller fires than I would make, but for the most part does a good job. Some key things are having a good supply of dry kindling and a variety of sized splits. Follow up with good instructions on how to build a fire, when to damper it down, how to read and interpret the stove top temps, and a lot of patience.

Like Carl noted, for some, firebuilding and maintenance is not intuitive. Patient instruction goes a long way. So when you come home and find the glass all smoked up, don't grumble and scold. Fill the stove up and get a hot fire going, then grab a beer or glass of wine, sit down and enjoy the show as the glass clears up. Final note, simple stoves rule here. The less dampers, levers, etc. to keep track of, the better the success.

 

[Todd]

I probably tend the fire 90% of the time. My wife has little patients so she doesn't watch the engage temps as closely as I'd like. She does like to help some with the firewood chores and that's a big plus.

 

[fossil]

...My wife has little patients...

Ah, she's a Pediatrician, then...cool! :lol: Rick

 

[Redox]

My wife has been taking little baby steps toward keeping the stove going. One time, I walked in the house about 20 minutes after she had loaded the stove and opened the startup damper. The stove was about to take off into orbit and I scolded her about walking away with the startup open. I regretted that outburst for quite some time, but she has learned a little about appropriate operation since then. The bottom line is, she will throw wood on the fire when I am not around and the house is getting a little cold. Obviously, she will never be as good at it as I am (grin), but she's learning. She is even giving me local reports on trees down in the neighborhood, so it all works out in the end...

Chris

 

[gyrfalcon]

After a while and she gets used to the wood stove she will help. My wife does help. She was a little afraid of the new woodstove this Feb but one day when I came home late she had the fire going wanting to get warmer than the furnace is allowed to do. We usually try to do most things together. She will go get wood, load it, and stack it but won't run any of the power equipment. Most men, not all, are brought up running power tools so they can jump right in with just a little safty class. Most women aren't brought up that way so steer shy of running equipment. I think more and more women are getting into the swing of things today due to the necessity of it.

That is SO true. My dad taught me not to be afraid of simple things like pounding nails, painting the walls and replacing electric cords, but power tools were definitely not on the agenda. You guys seem to us to have been born knowing how to use these things, and it's intimidating.

Also realize that we're built differently. We're nowhere near as strong and our center of balance is around the hips, yours is in the shoulders. So stuff that's totally easy for you can be almost impossible effort for us.

A lot of guys also are in the habit of just doing stuff themselves because it's easier t han showing us how. I think some guys are really happier if they have all the know-how and we're helpless and dependent on you to do stuff. So think about whether you really want her to help or not.

But mainly, if you want "the wife" to help, be nice.

 

[gibson]

After a while and she gets used to the wood stove she will help. My wife does help. She was a little afraid of the new woodstove this Feb but one day when I came home late she had the fire going wanting to get warmer than the furnace is allowed to do. We usually try to do most things together. She will go get wood, load it, and stack it but won't run any of the power equipment. Most men, not all, are brought up running power tools so they can jump right in with just a little safty class. Most women aren't brought up that way so steer shy of running equipment. I think more and more women are getting into the swing of things today due to the necessity of it.

That is SO true. My dad taught me not to be afraid of simple things like pounding nails, painting the walls and replacing electric cords, but power tools were definitely not on the agenda. You guys seem to us to have been born knowing how to use these things, and it's intimidating.

Also realize that we're built differently. We're nowhere near as strong and our center of balance is around the hips, yours is in the shoulders. So stuff that's totally easy for you can be almost impossible effort for us.

A lot of guys also are in the habit of just doing stuff themselves because it's easier t han showing us how. I think some guys are really happier if they have all the know-how and we're helpless and dependent on you to do stuff. So think about whether you really want her to help or not.

Very well put. This is coming from a guy that learned to operate a chainsaw from his kids babysitter (female- over 50 yrs old). As many have said on this site, safety first- but it aint rocket science! Best of luck.

But mainly, if you want "the wife" to help, be nice.

 

[gyrfalcon]

After a while and she gets used to the wood stove she will help. My wife does help. She was a little afraid of the new woodstove this Feb but one day when I came home late she had the fire going wanting to get warmer than the furnace is allowed to do. We usually try to do most things together. She will go get wood, load it, and stack it but won't run any of the power equipment. Most men, not all, are brought up running power tools so they can jump right in with just a little safty class. Most women aren't brought up that way so steer shy of running equipment. I think more and more women are getting into the swing of things today due to the necessity of it.

That is SO true. My dad taught me not to be afraid of simple things like pounding nails, painting the walls and replacing electric cords, but power tools were definitely not on the agenda. You guys seem to us to have been born knowing how to use these things, and it's intimidating.

Also realize that we're built differently. We're nowhere near as strong and our center of balance is around the hips, yours is in the shoulders. So stuff that's totally easy for you can be almost impossible effort for us.

A lot of guys also are in the habit of just doing stuff themselves because it's easier t han showing us how. I think some guys are really happier if they have all the know-how and we're helpless and dependent on you to do stuff. So think about whether you really want her to help or not.

Very well put. This is coming from a guy that learned to operate a chainsaw from his kids babysitter (female- over 50 yrs old). As many have said on this site, safety first- but it aint rocket science! Best of luck.

But mainly, if you want "the wife" to help, be nice.

Hah! I love it! I wish I were the kind of old broad like your kids' babysitter. And good on you for not being too uncomfortable to learn a "man's job" from a woman. Some guys really can't. I love you all to pieces, but some of you do have "issues," as they say.

 

[savageactor7]

I suppose my wife gets the keeper of the fire title but we all tend it pretty much equally.

 

[Thomask9590]

This is our first year burning as a couple, I grew up with wood heat. My wife likes to be warm so I am sure she will throw another log on if she gets cold.

 

[gpcollen1]

The wife liked the old dragon better - just cram wood into is, turn big knobs one way or another to let air in or choke it out. When I put the Olympic in, she just did not warn to 'learn' how to cook it right. eventually she took a bit of pride in burning it nice and hot when I am away traveling for work or whatever.

Mostly she just adds some wood to the coals when she gets home from work to bridge the gap til i get there and crank here up.

 

[Adios Pantalones]

I do most everything fire related. My wife's job allows her to come home early or work from home at least a few times a week (sales- prepares estimates etc on the laptop)- so she feeds the fire sometimes during the day. Normally this means me bringing in enough wood for her- which I do gladly and enjoy.

She's smart enough and confident enough to do all this... but she's smart enough to get me to do the lifting as well

If I travel for work, the fire is often out for a couple days.

 

[Jags]

2 years ago, the GF was racing me home from work so she could fire the stove back up, last year she had no interest in it. I guess this basically means she runs hot and cold with it. :lol:

 

[yetty734]

my mom, brother and i all have wood stove wars...my way works the best tho.

 

[backpack09]

My wife gets discouraged easily. This past winter almost everyone of the fires she started blackened the glass. Hopefully this year she will watch my technique a little more and get the hang of it.

 

[crazy_dan]

since we only have wood heat and I work long shifts I am out of house about 14-16 hours 4 days a week. she really has no choice other than help with the fire or freeze .
she doesn't mind it much now but at first she was hesitant, but come it is not rocket science.

 

[karl]

I had to laugh at this thread. I would have thought there would be more women on here speaking up.

Maybe I'm just different or was brough up differently but I rarely think of things as a man's job or a women's job. I wouldn't expect a woman to swing an maul all day. Although, I'm sure there are women out there that could outlast me chopping wood, but come on it's a stove. They can put wood in it and keep adjusted just the same as us and they'll sweep the hearth every time they load it.

 

[fossil]

...and they'll sweep the hearth every time they load it.

My wife doesn't do that. I guess she considers sweeping the hearth to be a man's job. :lol: Rick