Guy pulls in my driveway, wants to buy wood

Time to put up a sign

"Firewood for sale"
"$999 per cord"
"I measure - you haul"
"burnable in 2014/15"

That's when you pull out your cell phone and snap some friendly photos of them. Even if your phone doesn't have a working camera, how will they know? They probably won't be back.

Happened to you too,'eh? I dont tolerate any tresspassers.Someone rings the doorbell & I dont recognize them through the window- I ignore it.If I'm outside doing something & some stranger walks up to me shilling for someone/something they usually get the same response...."I cant be bothered right now,I'm very busy.Later isnt a good time either,I'm busy then too."

LOL! A few years back I was splitting wood when a car came up the driveway that I didn't recognize. I walked up to the car, forgetting that I still had the ax in my hand. Older gentleman gets out and says I just wanted to give you some info on our church, no need to get the ax. I said you can't be too careful with some people these days. He left pretty quick and hasn't returned.

A lost Oregonian walks into a bar in Alaska and pumps himself up while asking the bartender in a demanding bark, "Where can I get firewood?"
Not even flinching or wondering why someone from Oregon would venture that far north looking for firewood, never mind figuring out why someone would walk into a bar in Alaska looking for firewood, or the fact that it was Novenber and so late in the season to be wanting firewood, the bartender simply looked up and replied, "Go see Dave."

My brother and I go to the coast at times and we usually wander into a coastal bar or two around Tillimook, and we ask how we can get to Canada, or "Are are we in Canada yet?" That usually puts them off guard and gets them wondering about us pretty fast. Next time I will ask if we are in Alaska yet, and then ask if anyone there has any firewood for sale.

Love it! When people ask why I don't sell some of my firewood and I tell them because no one could afford to pay as much as it is worth to me they just don't sem to understand.

Good idea

Hello Alaska man. I trade you my bear for your firewoods, yes?

This post just made me think of one time a guy in a hummer came up to my house. I was in the yard working and he came walking up to me when his phone rang...when I started to ask what he wanted he held up his finger and gave me an odd look and started walking around talking on the phone.
I went back to work and then when he came back, after the phone call, I held up a different finger and asked him if he wanted to stay for the azz kicking or leave....

You should have blown his mind and denied it was in fact firewood. Tell him it is a fence to keep out bears and cookie selling girl scouts....then fake a facial tick and ask him if he wants to come inside and meet your pet sasquatch.

Bear to small
This a bear:

You let 'em get that far?
Unless I'm way out back, I can see or hear when someone pulls in. They're barely out of the car before I'm out the door telling them to leave.
Unless it's a friend or relative. I let them stay. Usually.
I like the " I'm busy right now, and I'll be busy later too" line, except I don't usually even bother having any kind of conversation.

Looks like I may have to send you a couple of my woodstack "No Trespassing" posters to keep da bassturds out......

If these don't work, I'll be up. I'm all about helping a former Pennsy resident......

Thanks Scotty
Will call if needed

I'm partial to this sign myself...

Eh, I do not post no tresspassing signs here. They are so common that they are ignored.

I posted this instead, from Front Site where I train on various weapons:

Nice skull. And claws...

Probably part of Tom McCall's environmental cleanup program. He was also known for saying "Come visit us again and again. This is a state of excitement. But for heaven's sake, don't come here to live." I always loved that line (but I stayed anyway).

I had a small amount of bucked rounds behind the house (maybe half a cord) but on the other side of the fence and a friend said to me dont you think you should bring that in? What if someone thinks its free! Im not all that worried. I did take a picture though in case things dont seem quite right! Bloody warm here right now!!

I'd of at least put someone in the picture that was bigger than the saw

+1

A few years ago I had a guy stop while I was mowing and ask if I would sell some maple to him. My response was how much would you pay he said t was for a bonfire because it was just soft stuff like pine so only 15 a face ! I started to laugh out loud at that and he asked what was so funny so I told him. I love soft maple and burn it all heating season when I can it puts out great heat and little creosote when it is dry and for that matter I love pine too! His response was very shocked that anyone would burn soft wood. That led to a long discussion on drying times and he ended up leaving without any thinking I was nuts .

Pete

I'm going to remember that one. I bet you could sell that Idea to Monty Python.