just groan'n

[Stevebass4]

so i’ve been doing my neighbor lady’s wood since her husband passed a few years ago and it wasn’t too bad as her brother would show up for the big cutting and splitting days and we’d bang out 3 to 4 cord in a day and once in a while her brother would drop of some small logs and i’d cut and split them when i had time

well the NL has a new boyfriend which is great and good for her and i guess her brother is also friends with my log guy so my log guy dropped a bunch of HUGE logs for her today.

her and the BF walk down and i ask when her brother is going to show up so we can work the wood and she says he’s really busy then i ask the new BF if he has a saw so we can work it together he says nope and he says he’s kind of lazy and doesn't like working with wood - wtf??

i still need to process my 4 cords for this year (by myself and my log guy drops huge logs) and now i have to also do NL’s 6+ cord of logs this year

her husband was a great old farmer type of guy and helped me out once or twice and i always though at least i am keeping his wife and daughter warm when he passed BUT Today i am thinking - oh well too bad - new BF better figure it out quick given that he’s living there on the weekends


am i wrong in my thinking??

 

[woodsman23]

You are right the new BF should be doing it not you. Let him buy the wood if he is to lazy to cut it and see what it cost to be lazy. You have paid your dues my friend not it's the BF's time to buck up so to speak...

 

[BrotherBart]

When the brother or boyfriend comes and says they are ready to work, you work. Otherwise work on your own stacks.

 

[Stevebass4]

awesome advise

i already have her one year ahead but i left some stuff out - the NL lets me store my splitter in her garage, my riding mower in her barn and she said i could store my new (to me) mustang in the garage during the winter

i don't have a garage and none of this will fit in my basement

i think i am just angry at the enviable

 

[smokinj]

lol brother bart yep, drag your feet for a change!

 

[FireAnt]

When the brother or boyfriend comes and says they are ready to work, you work. Otherwise work on your own stacks.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[burntime]

I have a neighbor like that. The deal is you help me and my splitter will comeover by you. He likes to show up at the end of the stack. Or, he like to make comments how he is waiting for me to show up... His pile has sat idle for over a year. No more free splitter time for him. I fix his mowers, rebuild his snowthrower, and until recently split his wood. Now he is on his own. I was warm this winter...have not seen him. After a while you learn who to thow a life line an who should sink.

 

[Danno77]

I'm always willing to offer my better than thou advice.

you and brother should keep doing what you've been doing. Any respectable man who was sitting around on his lazy duff while some other guys did work to keep his woman warm is a complete douche. Any woman who would stay with a douche like that should stay cold. Give her the benefit of the doubt and do what you've done. Get your stuff done first, though.

side note: You should tell her to ditch the BF. Parents shouldn't date. I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's what I offer. Anyone who has been a proper bf or gf knows that it takes a lot of time and effort to maintain a dating relationship. Anybody who is being a proper parent knows there would be no time to give a boyfriend the attention they need. When her daughter turns 18, then she should go ahead and date any loser she wants to. I'll be at Church if anyone needs to find me to argue about this one, lol.

 

[hareball]

Sounds to me like that guy is not gonna last long. That woman sounds like she had a good hard working husband and this slacker won't make the cut.

 

[Lumber-Jack]

I seldom comment on threads like this because one never has all the facts and life and personal interrelationships are not perfect, there is no grand balance to things like this.
But I'm bored so here is my take.

First point; the NL is obviously doing things for you by allowing you to store stuff at her place. You may not see it as a fair exchange, but maybe she does. Does it really mater if it's not perfectly fair?

Second point; the boyfriend has every right to not want to cut and split wood. I'm sure that's not a popular way of thinking in this forum, but by far the majority of people on this planet choose to heat their houses by other means. Do we know if the boyfriend wouldn't be perfectly happy to pay her electric heating bill (or whatever alternate heating fuel she uses)? We know he's lazy, but maybe he's not cheap.
Third point; I'm sure you didn't plan to cut her wood forever, maybe it's time to stop. That goes for storing your stuff at her place, how long exactly did you plan to store your stuff there?

I'm sure if you are able to answer these questions you'll be a little closer to resolving your dilemma.

 

[daveswoodhauler]

Offer to cut and split her a cord for the use of her space for your toys/equipment.
Anything additional, and the BF is going to have to do it.
Good luck.

 

[Adkjake]

SteveBass4, I was definetly with you after the original post, if the new BF doesn't have a saw or know how to cut, hand him a pair of gloves, he can certainly haul and stack and help out somehow. But, the free storage puts a new twist on it. Perpahps you should figure out what the value of the storage is, i.e. what would it cost you to rent a storage stall for that equipment or build a storage shed or garage. Put a dollar value on it, and provide that amount of cutting and splitting based on $X per hour. X being whatever you think your labor is worth, plus gas, oil and other expenses.

FYI, I built a 24 X 24 garage last summer

Site Prep and concrete work (contracted) = $2700
Prefab garage kit, engineered trusses = $ 4800
Misc materials = $500
Labor, all sweat equity = $0

 

[Stevebass4]

great advise everyone and thanks i guess was just taken aback a little by the new BF comments that he's lazy and again in some strange way i always felt i was helping the husband by keeping his wife and daughter warm after he passed so i didn't mind..

she is a good lady and a great neighbor guess in the end i'll be doing the work

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Steve, my take is a bit different. You say she is a good lady and a great neighbor. Evidently her husband was the same way. She also has a brother who evidently thinks she is okay. You have been doing this work evidently for more than one year. So, is this all going to change because of one bad egg? Do you really want to end a friendship because of one bad egg? Plus this nice neighbor allows you to store some of your equipment in her barn which has to be worth a lot. Equipment will last longer stored inside rather than outside.

I realize I do not know the entire situation but I would be hard pressed to end a good friendship over this one thing. I would continue doing what I have done in the past.....but maybe just a bit slower. I would also attempt to be doing some of the work when said fellow comes to her for a visit. I would also begin dropping hints to the lady about said boyfriend perhaps kicking in some help with the hard labor. After all, she would see what the man was worth, if anything.

In the end, ask around and you will see that good neighbors are sometimes hard to find. When you have one, do extra to keep that good neighbor happy. It pays in the end even if it is only the satisfaction you get by helping out a widow.

I have somewhat the same situation here as I help several neighbors and ask nothing in return. Some will help if I need it; some won't. I even plow snow from driveways and have never asked a dime from any neighbor for that. I used to take the atv over a mile to clear one driveway and never got more than a thank you. One time while going to and from there I also plowed a path in the road because the county had not plowed it and we did not expect them for another 2 days. I plowed enough so traffic could use the road and I also plowed by some mailboxes for the mail could be delivered. I also plowed one driveway I had never done before but knew the man was having some health problems. For all this I never received a simple thank you from any neighbor other than the one over a mile away. Sometimes it just works out that way. I even heard that more than one person who lived on that road called me a fool. So be it. That is life and how some folks are. But do not let one or two idiots ruin what you have or what you do.

Perhaps someone might recall the words some famous Man said: something like "Inasmuch as you have done it onto the least of these....."

 

[Stevebass4]

thank you Dennis

those words will get me through the work

 

[smokinj]

thank you Dennis

those words will get me through the work

Dennis is always right but he gives away 50+ cords a year for Goodwill.....so quite winning on a lousy 5 cords a year! lol I would drag my feet until I had mine done then start on her's at a slower pace.

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Just my $.02
I own a farm and my neighbors along the road to my farm have 1/2 acre lots. For 11 years I've always plowed their driveways. 10 homes.
This was the 1st year I stopped plowing my neighbors driveways. Every year I pass out wooden stakes painted orange on the tips. I ask my neighbors to stake the entrance to their driveways and stake down your drive. When the snow falls I can not tell the driveway entrance or the ditch. This year we got nailed and I fired up the tractor did my 800' driveway and looked down the road and only 1 driveway was staked. I knocked out that driveway and parked the tractor. Last year I spent over 6 hrs stuck in the ditch becuase they didn't mark their entrance. I also was asked to replace a small POS plant I plowed under becuase it wasn't marked.
If you can rant I can Rant!
Now I'm concidered the mean old man in the big white house!
Moral of the story? Screw Them!

 

[billb3]

Wondering why her brother is suddenly too busy.
Does he have the same dilemma as you ?

I wouldn't mind cutting some wood for the storage space but it now sounds like you're getting a little shorter end of the stick.

Things might change between now and next Winter and maybe her brother has different plans, too.
I can understand some people not having any interest in the whole wood burning thing, though.
Hope you're not being taken advantage of. That might take some time to find out for sure.

 

[Monkey Wrench]

Just a Quick up-date. One of my neighbors called and told me that the snow storm broke one of their pine trees in half, And since I COLLECT wood would I take it down? I said yes and wood be there this Monday AM and remove it. 15 Min later another call same person, I was in the John so I let it go to the ans machine. Now I'm being giving instructions how they want it removed. Can not bring my tractor on their lawn, just hand drag it 125'. I will be removing the stump too correct??????

Thank God I didn't tell them which Monday I would Be There!

 

[JustWood]

I don't do squat for neighbors anymore. Except 2 who always seem to have the time to return the favor. If you own equipment it's just to easy for someone who doesn't to ask. LiteraLEE doled out $thousands of dollars in equipment time and when I need some manpower for an hour everybodys busy.
Only 2 guys on the road will drop what their doing to help so they get in return.

That said ,if it were me I'd build a pole barn to store your stuff and sell extra wood to pay for it. You can still lend a hand to the neighbor for minor stuff but at least you won't feel obligated to spend many man hours keeping them warm.

 

[Stevebass4]

this will keep me busy for a few weekends - and yup i think her brother (who's a nice guy) is busy for the same reason

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Monkey Wrench, like most things, there does come a time when things must change. It sounds as if a couple of things have changed for you. You might consider still doing the tree.....after you have sent a bill for snow plowing for how ever many years.... It is sad, but sometimes folks do take advantage and most times they really do not understand how they are taking advantage. Perhaps when they moved in and you started plowing the driveway, they just assumed that is how it is done? However, if it were me then I would definitely sit back and watch to see how that tree does get cleaned up....

We have a son who lives a long ways from us; like 700 miles. He is lucky and also has a good neighbor who is a Mennonite farmer. They have treated our son and his family as if they were one of their own ever since. Naturally my son returns the favors and they act as though he is the greatest person in the world. No doubt a few of the other neighbors do not do the same and that is really sad.

But I won't let one bad cookie cause me to throw out the whole batch.

 

[Dakotas Dad]

People are funny.

 

[firefighterjake]

When the brother or boyfriend comes and says they are ready to work, you work. Otherwise work on your own stacks.

Agreed . . . if he is able-bodied he should be able to lend a hand to keep his girl (and himself) warm.

 

[iceman]

When the brother or boyfriend comes and says they are ready to work, you work. Otherwise work on your own stacks.

Agreed . . . if he is able-bodied he should be able to lend a hand to keep his girl (and himself) warm.

+2

I have read all points and think this is the best... she is a year ahead so there is time to work it out, but do your first... then you might wanna call the brother and ask when /if he is coming... he might tell you tht he isnt for the same reason.. .. but wht if you dont do it , they break up and then you feel bad because you wish you just wouldve done it back then?
OR ask the NL if the bf is gonna be able to help since you havent seen her brother around, you can nicely tell her you have to get yours done and you have been having "BACK" problems lately so you are gonna need someone to help you