Sick of my family thinking I am the local tool rental!!.......

Man I have just about had it with family members thinking they can just borrow anything they want and keep it for as long as they want! Both my BIL have bough small pieces of property (10 acres and 6 acres) and my advice to both of them was get yourself a tractor old, new, whatever so you are able to take care of it.

Well apparently their idea was to just borrow mine non stop, not offer any compensation for using it, or even bring the diesel cans back filled up . I was so ticked last night I just about couldn't sleep! One of them no sooner brought the tractor back than the other one called and said hey I heard the tractor is back so can I come pick it up for the rest of the week since you let the other one use it for a few days. Then he proceeded to inform me he burned a scrap pile and was going to use the tractor to scoop up all the scrap steel and haul it away. I promptly just about blew my top and told him he could pay for all the tires being replaced when they have metal stuck all through them. Then when he was getting ready to leave with the tractor he wanted to know if he could borrow the splitter next week so he could split up his bonfire wood.

O yeah here is another good one.....I cam home two weeks ago to find all the car and truck pulled out of the garage and sitting in the driveway with my table saw, radial arm saw, router table, and sliding miter saw set up in the garage and my BIL was building picture frames for my sister. My wife said he just pulled up in the drive and asked if he could use some of my wood working equipment.

So who here has relatives that act like this and how do I put a stop to it without destroying all family relationships. I told my wife that after the tractor is back I am telling all of them it's not getting loaned out anymore period and now she is all afraid they will get mad at us and start not speaking to us.....I say good riddance as I'm sick of dealing with it. I could keep going on and on with stories like the above.

Most people don't seem to know or care what tools cost. I had to learn the hard way. I do not allow anyone in my shop when I'm not around. I don't blame you for being upset. Even if it is family.

If it's YOUR family, then YOU decide if you even care if they never speak to you again. If it's your wife's, well, now you got a situation on your hands.

Don't let people borrow stuff that

1)They have not spent time running before,and
2)They don't have the cash to replace immediatly

As far as the tractor goes . . . the only way I rent mine is with a signed lease and a week pre-pay security. If people are just showing up unannounced and then they ask your wife, then I think you know you are going to have to tell your wife that, from henceforth, anyone wants to borrow your stuff, they gotta go through you, not her. You may want to gently put this in terms she can relate to. Like the fact that you would not loan out her stuff (whatever is important to her) without asking her.

I am saving up for a "barley" used tractor, upon delivery no one is borrowing it (you would have a better chance borrowing my wife).
Your relatives aren't being respectful of you or your property, this tells me that they don't really like you. I would not loan things to people who don't like me!

If someone borrows something from me I expect it back in the same or better condition when they picked it up. If it comes back empty or broke they lose all access, if it comes back broke they are required to fix it. Make sure the person knows these terms before they borrow it. If the main concern is that they will not talk to you, then the relative is to imature to handle the responsibility of borrowing stuff from you. Saying if you don't do X, I am not going to be your friend is for pre-schoolers not adults.

My BIL & SIL are not allowed on any of our property, I took care of the problem years ago. She accused us of taking over the family camp when all we did was help out my MIL & FIL.

She just called the other night telling us a tree came down on the cable that holds up the dock (folk her) it's to much work for her husband (man up) some shingles need replacing, again it's to much work for her husband (man up) all these things would have been taken care of years back but never will I lift a finger for her again.

Set them straight, you'll feel alot better, I do.

zap

you have every right to be upset, and kinda no right to be upset
you have to say "NO"
you were a nice guy and tried to help out
now it has gotten out of control
they will take advantage of you as long as you let them
I had a similiar situation and what I had to do was tell
everyone that NONE of my tools or equipment are for loan
P. Offed alot of family and lost a few "friends' but all my stuff still works and looks like when I got it
the other answer I used once was when a BIL asked to take my Harley for a ride and
I said sure if I can take your wife (my wifes sister) for a ride
solved that

You can pick your friends but your stuck with your relatives.............................If you don't like the way it is going down, there is a simple solution in the form of a 2 letter word.................."NO". If they can't accept that and get their knickers in a twist, TOO BAD!!

Hey Certified, I have a need for the use of a tractor next week. What are my chances of borrowing yours?!


All joking aside, I can certainly understand how you feel. Tools and especially tractors, are not cheap. An occasional borrow is one thing but to have the whole family after your tools is too much. I too would put a stop to it immediately. They will probably be a bit indignant but so what. They've shown no respect to you or your property. You are better off if they get a bit ticked and stop coming over!

Now drink a cold one and sleep well tonight.

If you tell them no more, they might get mad and not talk to you anymore? Perfect! Chances are they never came around just to visit and see how you were doing. Just be polite about it and not waste anytime thinking about it.

Unfortunately you'll need to change the locks on the garage. Take the keys out of tractor and keep them with you. Sounds like you're wife will be getting pestered. Feel sorry for you, but hang in there.

I've got a brother in law who pulls the same crap. A little different because I can yell at my sister and not get in trouble (till she calls my mom) but I've been down that road the same way. I found sabotage to be an effective deterent. It helped when I took the safety off the nail gun and jammed the trigger so it wouldn't fire. I also somehow can't start the truck when he comes over to borrow it because he waits till I fill it before he borrows it. At $100/tank I don't need him running around the state trying to buy scrap to sell. Last time he came for the tile saw I lost the blade and the nut that holds it. My answer was he could probably buy a new blade for about $60 and then keep it with my saw. The cheap MF bought one and then brought it back to the store in the package when he was done. I told my sister that day the store was closed.

Your sister is in charge of those boys. You shouldn't have to manage that.

Dennis you would be welcome to borrow it any time as I totally believe you would show some respect........It would just be a long haul LOL!

The funny thing is I have loaned out equipment to my best friend on a fairly regular basis and I never even think twice about it as it ALWAYS come back in better shape than it was borrowed and the fuel tanks are always full. The thing that gets flaming is when someone starts acting like they are entitled to it and not being respectful. My friend that borrows my tractor has a skidsteer which I have borrowed on more than one occasion ( like when I was building my shed ) and the last time I used it I even changed the oil in it and replaced the bulb's on the headlights as well as washing it and filling the fuel tank up just as a thank you and that is the kind of respect I expect others to show when you go out of the way to be nice to them and help them out.

Sorry for the rant guys. I know in the grand scheme of things the tractor isn't that big of a deal but in all honesty it wasn't just the tractor and things have been building for about the last 9 months.

I am trying to cool off and I haven't said a word to anyone yet because I don't want to say something in a way that I might regret later. I try to be understanding and I really want to stay on good terms with everyone but I guess sometimes that just isn't possible. There are even more extenuating circumstances especially with BIL #1 as they make more money than us and live like they are dirt poor while mooching off of my Mom non stop. He as far as telling me the tractor was just a play toy (before he bought his property) while bragging about how much he has saved over the course of the year and talking about his plan to have 1 mill in his account by the time he is 50. My sister won't even buy herself clothes and will try to make a pair of shoes last 2 years and then complains to my mom about how crappy her clothes and shoes are so much that my Mom who doesn't have that much money goes and buys her a new wardrobe.......So that kind of stuff is what fuels my irritation with them and then little stuff like this sends me over the edge.

Here is another good one about 6 months ago my Mom was in so much pain that she could barely walk and the doctor's were trying to figure out what was wrong with her...long story short my sister still made here watch her kids because she didn't want to use her vacation time to stay home with them. I called her and gave her what for and her response was that when Mom agreed to watch her kids she understood that meant even doing it if she didn't feel good and to mind my own business and stay out of it ...Needless to say 3 days later she was on ambulance ride to the hospital for emergency surgery and spent a few days at the hospital recovering while my sister was whining about not having babysitting. You can not even imagine the conversations (if you can call it that) that I had with her!

I think the tool rental place is officially closed and that is the way it's staying at my house. Next time they want to borrow something I will quote the phone number to the local tool rental store or quote them a price for me to do it for them which will hopefully put an end to this nonsense! If they don't' take it well that's their fault as I will say it in a nice way while quoting them the cost of the last PM I just did on the tractor and reminding them money doesn't grow on trees!

Seriously.... if you borrow horsey stuff it comes back as good, or gets replaced... no other answer here.

I would not think twice about lending stuff out to family, but they would do the same. Too bad they are ~4500 miles away

That is a reason I don't mind helping out the neighbors, loaning them stuff, welding up stuff, etc. I broke my snowblower on my tractor, neighbor let me use his and got pissed that I filled it with gas after I cleaned my driveway and then his.
Cut his grass a few weeks when they were on vacation, wouldn't take even beer for watching my dog for a week when I was gone. Damn bastard

certified! Send them this thread!

But then again, they might have to borrow your computer

loon

hey certified, just noticed you are in athens, I am in lancaster think you could run that tractor up to me this weekend??
I'll need it for about a month so make sure you bring some extra fuel for me......................

I havent loaned out any tools in years.I did a few times in the past,with the predicted results.Good tools are very expensive & I depend on them to earn a living.If someone needs work done I'll go over there when I have the spare time,use my tools,then return home with them.Or if its needed,do the work in my shop on the item then take it to them.But nothing leaves the house without me & the only person allowed in my shop is Dad,since he taught me so much growing up.

The store is closed!

I loan out my woodsplitter to my buddy and neighbor all the time . . . because they return it in the same shape it was when I loaned it . . . if not better. There was one neighbor who did accidentally brake a bolt on the splitter's cradle . . . a common enough problem and I suspect he never noticed it and so I will probably give him another chance with it if he asks.

That said . . . it's tough when it comes to family, but true family and friends will treat your stuff as good if not better than their own . . . and at the very least that means asking you before using equipment and returning it in a prompt manner in the same condition . . . and at the very best returning the equipment along with an occasional gift certificate or a thank you gift.

I probably have some stuff you're welcome to borrow!

I won't post about it but if it means anything, I could tell some worse stories about a few things that have happened over the years. Sad, but it happens in many families. Shoot, I left home at age 12! Yes, there were some very good reasons for that.

About 50 years ago I let a friend use some of my hand tools. He returned them without the 9/16", 6 point socket. He said that was not one of the pieces he borrowed. Bull pucky! I purchased another 6 point socket and after many similar incidents with different items and different "friends", have stopped loaning anything to anybody.

That works best for me.