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You Know You Are A Real Wood Burner When...

Post in 'The Hearth Room - Wood Stoves and Fireplaces' started by BrotherBart, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. gmule

    gmule Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2011
    Messages:
    453
    Loc:
    Conifer Colorado
    Ha ha I did this the other day walking with my wife and baby except I put the wood in the bottom of the stroller to bring it home.

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  2. csierotnik

    csierotnik New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2010
    Messages:
    39
    Loc:
    Syracuse, NY
    you show a woman your wood on the first date. -- Thats funny
  3. Danno77

    Danno77 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,758
    Loc:
    Hamilton, IL
    ...people ask to see a picture of your children and you pull out your phone/iPad/wallet and flip past about 100 pictures consisting of your woodstacks, wood stoves, chainsaws, splitters, moisture meter, truck, chaps, trees you took down, funny neighborhood installations, lawnmower/ATV towing a trailer with firewood, other people's secondaries firing, jay's gf wearing pink carharts, and 14 different kinds of wood for ID purposes, and you finally find a picture of the kids to show them and it's a 3 year old picture of questionable quality.

    P.s. I really do have a pic of Jay's girlfriend, because I thought those carharts were the coolest thing ever and I wanted to show them to Mrs. Danno, who wasn't interested (can you believe that? Why wouldn't a lady love to have some of those?!?!).
  4. rottiman

    rottiman Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2009
    Messages:
    1,102
    Loc:
    Ontario Canada
    your anxiously watching the forcast, praying for a blast of cold so you can give your new stove a REAL test run...............................
  5. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    May 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,831
    Loc:
    Ridge, LI, NY
    LMAO !!
  6. Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle

    Doing The Dixie Eyed Hustle Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    May 27, 2008
    Messages:
    4,831
    Loc:
    Ridge, LI, NY
    Have truck, will bring ice chests in the bed.

    * Is very experienced with toting food around the North East going to horse shows, I got it down. Have BBQ, tables, etc, all is pretty much ready to rock & roll in the horse trailer. Trailer has an awning, too*
  7. MICHAEL H

    MICHAEL H New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2009
    Messages:
    41
    Loc:
    se indiana
    I pray daily this is the year my in-laws have the woods harvested. Dreams of white oak tops abound.
  8. tsquini

    tsquini Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    516
    Loc:
    North Shore, MA
    it's -4 outside and you decide that you should put shorts.
    --
    When a co-worked ask you how warm you keep your house in the winter and you say 80 deg.
    --
    The smell of smoke turns you on.
    --
    When the oil delivery man comes you laugh at him.
    --
    When you refer to Fall and Spring as shoulder seasons and know one knows what you are talking about.
    --
    Found this poem. Need I say more
    LOGS TO BURN

    Logs to burn, logs to burn,
    Logs to save the coal a turn
    Here's a word to make you wise,
    When you hear the woodman's cries.
    Never heed his usual tale,
    That he has good logs for sale,
    But read these lines and really learn,
    the proper kind of logs to burn.

    OAK logs will warm you well,
    If they're old and dry.
    LARCH logs of pine wood smell,
    But the sparks will fly.
    BEECH logs for Christmas time,
    YEW logs heat well.
    SCOTCH logs it is a crime,
    For anyone to sell.

    BIRCH logs will burn too fast,
    CHESTNUT scarce at all
    HAWTHORN logs are good to last,
    If you cut them in the fall
    HOLLY logs will burn like wax
    You should burn them green
    ELM logs like smouldering flax
    No flame to be seen

    PEAR logs and APPLE logs,
    they will scent your room.
    CHERRY logs across the dogs,
    Smell like flowers in bloom
    But ASH logs, all smooth and grey,
    burn them green or old;
    Buy up all that come your way,
    They're worth their weight in gold.
  9. schortie

    schortie Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2008
    Messages:
    223
    Loc:
    michigan
    You feel like you never have enough wood.
  10. Chettt

    Chettt Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    265
    Loc:
    Western Michigan
    When remodeling the house you choose wood floors over carpet just in case a weather apocalypse hits, you'll have 2800 lbs. of dry Hickory beneath your feet.
  11. thewoodlands

    thewoodlands Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2009
    Messages:
    10,825

    You won't let the wife burn the GOOD STUFF until February.


    zap
  12. keninmich

    keninmich Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2010
    Messages:
    56
    Loc:
    south-central michigan

    That is just toooooooo funny.......
  13. MasterMech

    MasterMech Guest

    Yessir! (Stands up and salutes...) lol :lol:
  14. NCredneck

    NCredneck New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2011
    Messages:
    82
    Loc:
    RDU area NC
    You buy your children wooden toys for Christmas thinking they will outgrow them before the end of winter! and then you try to tell them that they are big boys now and they dont need their little toys anymore while you are thinking starter wood...
  15. BJ64

    BJ64 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Messages:
    608
    Loc:
    NE Oklahoma
    When you can say with total confidence that the person that posted below me could be certified as a pyromaniac if someone would just get him or her to the Doctor!
  16. Flatbedford

    Flatbedford Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    5,204
    Loc:
    Croton-on-Hudson, suburbs of NYC
    What's wrong with being a total pyromaniac?
  17. BJ64

    BJ64 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2008
    Messages:
    608
    Loc:
    NE Oklahoma
    Nothing at all!
    Here is a box of matches. Go sit by the stove in the cement room and be nice. :)
  18. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    27,816
    Loc:
    Michigan
    When you figure out that if you stack some more wood over in that area it will mean less grass to mow. Yes! Now we can cut some more wood.
  19. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    46,084
    Loc:
    South Puget Sound, WA
    when if you're not on hearth.com, you're out collecting and splitting wood!

    Gotta go now!
  20. Chettt

    Chettt Feeling the Heat

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    265
    Loc:
    Western Michigan
    When your wife has more than once talked you out of starting a "Pet Crematorium".
  21. BrowningBAR

    BrowningBAR Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    7,607
    Loc:
    Doylestown, PA

    Hahaha! I never thought of that... which is odd for me.
  22. woodchip

    woodchip Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2010
    Messages:
    1,389
    Loc:
    Broadstone England
    Which is exactly why I haven't been on here much in the last couple of days.......

    3 trees fell over in the park behind our house, the neighbours tipped me off as they wanted to see how quickly I would rush out to drag them in ;-)
  23. adrpga498

    adrpga498 Minister of Fire

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2005
    Messages:
    850
    Loc:
    New Jersey
    When you have plenty of wood to burn and you reload the stove way to soon , just because you can.

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