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You Might Be An Old Redneck If...

Post in 'The Gear' started by BrotherBart, Jul 2, 2007.

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  1. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    In preparation for the 4th of July you cut two holes in a filing cabinet, stick a chimney on it and sit it on top of your old wood insert with four pork butts and six chickens in it.

    At the time of the picture 70 pounds of oak is cruising nicely with a smoker box temp of 225 on its 15 hour journey.

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  2. stoveguy13

    stoveguy13 Minister of Fire

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    "You Might Be" dont think might be is the right question you are. :lol:
  3. MrGriz

    MrGriz New Member

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    Priceless....
  4. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

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    Amazing! That's at least a 3 bourbon inspiration! About the only mod I'd make is to set it on cement blocks. Roots can ignite and spread fire underground. But our soil is probably a lot drier than in VA.

    Hope you filed the chicken under "poultry".
  5. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    The stuff has finished up and I will never, ever, use any other meat smoker again but that contraption. Amazing. Ten hour burns on a load and no problem at all nailing the thermomter on 225 and fugidaboutit. The drawers are just the perfect size for dollar store aluminum roasting pans so ya set the stuff in and when ready just lift'em out. And the meat is PERFECT.

    I have spent thousands in my lifetime on grills and smokers and have never had perfect smoked pork and chicken come out of them. Not to mention with zilch effort. If everybody tried one of these things the price of used wood stoves and filing cabinets would go through the roof.

    And it is behind the wood pile so only a few million people on the Internet can see it.
  6. begreen

    begreen Mooderator Staff Member

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    You've probably just started another craze. Craig may have to open a new forum for this. I can just see it now - Does Steelcase make for the perfect smoked salmon? Got a big party? Look at this mod of a 4 foot horiz. file cabinet that can handle 8 aluminum trays at once. We've all heard about baking a file in a loaf of bread for that special friend in need, but how about baking the bread in the file?

    Oh the possibilities are endless. Glide suspension goo cleaners, Pendaflex fillet hangers, it boggles the imagination. (and has me drooling on my keyboard).
  7. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    The File Room?
  8. EatenByLimestone

    EatenByLimestone Minister of Fire

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    Pendaflex beef jerkey..........

    Matt
  9. littlesmokey

    littlesmokey Minister of Fire

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    A little anectotal story from my past. Several years ago on a trip to Seattle, I stopped in Umatilla, Oregon for fuel and a trip across the Columbia, had to make a stop at my nieces Summer Dance Camp in Walla Walla. As I was approaching the old bridge ramp a bright light caught my eye and a whole new world was openned. Not being a welder, I am alway impressed by something unique and functional. There on the side of the road was the most fantastic smoker grill being made in a vacant lot. The long and short is the guy making the stove was from oil country in Oklahoma/Texas. Came up to the NW to work on dismantling Hanford, but the company with the promise job stiffed him. With what few bucks he had and his tools of trade, an oilfield welder, he spent a few bucks at the scrap yard and from there made BBQ's and Smokers from all sorts of things. Some were fanciful, but his wife proved they all worked by doing chicken, ribs, roasts and whatever they could get at the market to make a little more. I think of the old tin smiths doing the same kind of thing, but this guy was good. I wanted a nine footer with side hung fire box and three layers of smoker cooker, he said could handle 300 lbs of meat. It was $400, and he admitted it cost him $30 in scrap, but what a unit. Problem was the stove was three feet longer than my classic volks bug, and would have severely bent up my classic 53 Euro roof rack. I think he may have been into smoke in a different way, but he certainly knew what he was doing, claimed he'd tack weld the grill from a 58 Edsel for an extra $30 as a signature decoration.

    Man was that chicken taste.
  10. littlesmokey

    littlesmokey Minister of Fire

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    Now you got me going, thirty years ago my ex-father in law developed some land in Southern Colorado, he hired a vaquero to do a dinner for everyone in the community and any one driving by. They took a D3 Cat and made a thirty foot trench about six feet deep. They filled the pit with pinion and set it afire for a day adding wood to build a coal base a few feet deep. They then back filled the pit with sand, layed down a sheet of extra heavy canvas, and put a layer of three cows halved, four pig halved and two sheep and two lambs. Another layer of sand was put down and the pit was loaded with wood again and burned for 24 hours. The coals were covered with sand and the whole thing was left for two days until the party.

    I can not describe what they uncovered. It fed over twelve hundred and they ate for hours.

    To tie it to the hearth, it was a totally illegal free burning fire that was a run away and well over fired for over a twenty-four hour burn and a serious bed of coals that brought pleasure to over a thousand......... I think that was where I learned the work Chipolte.
  11. keyman512us

    keyman512us Member

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    "Hearth Marvels" section ('sub-forum' by special invitation only..after all 'disclaimers' are properly filled out and notarized) Section "RED NECK TECH"??? lol

    BB.. I like it..."What time do we eat???" ;)

    In true R-N fashion...All I gotta say is "NIIOCE!!!"
  12. keyman512us

    keyman512us Member

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    Littlesmokey,
    Been to something similiar on a smaller scale...but with mesquite. While the folks over in BI would probably 'take issue' I say "When in Rome..." nuff' said. In the southwest thats as American as apple pie, Maine lobster, or Boston baked beans... (Luckily, I've been to 38 of 50 states). Gotta love local culture... ;)
  13. littlesmokey

    littlesmokey Minister of Fire

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    Fact is, the pinion was small and had lots of nuts and the trees were dumped whole into the fire. Whoa what flavor. If you have a smoker and know someone willing to risk ruining their jointer have them shave a bucket of mesquite for you. Take the chips and put them in a quart jar packed. Add a cup of your favorite beverage over 80% Al and let marinate for three days. Fill the jar with water for another three days. Start your smoker and add a hand full of shavings every hour or so, for a large roast, more frequently for chops or steaks. Nice thing is you'll enjoy the flavor for days.
  14. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart Hearth.com LLC Mid-Atlantic Division Staff Member

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    When I worked for Big Oil one of the big refineries got a new manager. He was a shirt sleeves, walk around guy and went out to see what his plant looked like. He saw a guy hooking up a nice new large smoker wagon rig to his truck and commented on how nice it was. The guy told him to just go over to the fab shop. They made'em for every body there.

    There was a Come To Jesus Meeting and that stuff ceased immediately.
  15. keyman512us

    keyman512us Member

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    Back in the 80's a buddy of mine worked at GE in Lynn MA... There was "quite the little enterprise going on there". A few of "the boys" were making wood stoves and "selling them out back". The whole racket came crashing down one day when an 18 wheeler showed up at the wrong dock looking to pick up a load of stoves from "So and so stove company"...DOOHHH! ;)

    Closer to home (right here in Gardner MA) there was a local metal fab shop (C&W Fabricators) that made generator housings for GE steam turbine systems in Fitchburgh... Keep in mind most of the work left the shop on railroad cars or "oversize trucks" in the middle of the night...so making stoves was "childs play". Another cottage industry...the boys were selling the knock-off stoves as far south as PA and NYC...

    One day when I was over at a friends house recently (his father worked at the fab shop)... I commented on the old stove in the basement "We had the same exact stove" to which his father replied "take a closer look...that one is homemade.

    When he originally installed it he pulled a permit. The FD guy asked and commented "There needs to be a UL listing plate on it...but if you tell me you bought it up used up at Rietta Ranch (the local flea market) I can sign off on it..."

    ...The FD guy knew where he worked...and where the stove came from... ;)
  16. suematteva

    suematteva New Member

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    Great reading on a slow Saturday Night!!!!!!!!
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