"Burn Dry Firewood" slogan for bumper sticker?

[semipro]

I've spent enough time here to see literally thousands of posts about problems associated with burning wood that is too wet.

I've also been bothered lately knowing that much of the recently cut wood I'm seeing hauled by in the backs of pickup trucks is destined to be burned this season, in effect wasting valuable energy resources and wood burners time, polluting unnecessarily, wasting fuel, etc.

I recently had a colleague at work approach me to ask why his stove glass was coated black. I recommended he try drier wood and he reported back that his glass cleared up. This was after I know he spent considerable time at Hearth.com.

What all this leads me to believe is that there is a great need for much better education about the benefits of burning adequately dried firewood. Obviously, that info is here and elsewhere for those that seek it out but I've known some intelligent folks that have spent time reading here and still didn't come away with a proper understanding about the benefits of well seasoned wood, how to determine water content, or the impacts/symptoms of burning wood that is too wet.

Anyway, I was thinking of perhaps starting a grassroots advertising campaign and thought bumper stickers might be a good place to begin. If nothing else I might be able to come across a good slogan that could be used on a website or elsewhere.

That's where I thought I'd turn to Hearth for assistance. I'm asking for the collective help of Hearth to come up with a great bumper sticker slogan that will succinctly drive home the benefits of burning well seasoned wood -- or at least inspire enough interest that burners will educate themselves.

I'll start things out but freely admit that this isn't a strong suit for me.

• Dry Firewood Rules!
• Firewood: Split it. Cover it. Burn it next year!
• Split it. Cover it. Burn it next season.
• Firewood at 20% burns better, cleaner
• Dry splits burn better
• Got Smoke? Dry your wood.
• Black glass is not bad ass. (my personal favorite but not very informative)

If I'm re-hashing a previous post please let me know. I searched but did not find anything relevant.

 

[fossil]

Honk If Your Wood's Dry

 

[BrotherBart]

1 800 DRY-WOOD

 

[fossil]

How's My Burning?
1-800-NOSMOKE

 

[semipro]

Seasoned wood performs better.

 

[hossthehermit]

Ain't nobody got time fo dat !!

 

[Backwoods Savage]

Oh semipro, if any of us really knew the answer to how to educate those who really need it, we would wear a King's Crown. Sadly, like your friend who you know has read about dry wood, most folks just don't get it. In addition, most folks claim they really know and you can't tell them a thing. I recall not long ago someone wanted to start burning wood. I told him to first cut wood before he bought a stove. Well, he spent 3 hours on the Internet and he told me he knew all he needed to know. He was even telling his wife and she was so proud..... Need I say more?

 

[fossil]

I don't think that'll fit on a bumper sticker.

 

[BrotherBart]

 

[Ashful]

Dry wood: because you can't burn water.

 

[Paulywalnut]

Dry more. Burn less.

 

[semipro]

Are those stovepipes on a tractor?

 

[jatoxico]

Somebody out there is doing their part... (broken link removed to http://newyork.craigslist.org/wch/for/4228035686.html)

 

[semipro]

Thanks for the responses so far.
There are quite a few witty people at Hearth.
Any more?

 

[eclecticcottage]

This is kinda what I do as a second job (slogan type things). I design t-shirts, cards, etc. If you're into mudding and have ever come across the phrase "If The Mud Ain't Flyin, You Ain't Tryin", that was mine. Inspired by a photo of our subie on a seasonal use road, lol.

Anyway...the problem is...no matter what the slogan is, there are so many opinions on things like what "dry" or "seasoned" wood means, I don't know that any could really be effective. This is one of those things that really needs more than a few words to explain...even a catchy phrase would pretty much bypass most people that burn that "know better". they might even just roll their eyes. I guess it also depends on your target demographic.

All that said, this shall be my contribution.

(Less Smoke, More Heat)
Dry Wood Is Hard To Beat. ​

 

[BrotherBart]

WWDD?
(What Would Dennis Do?)​

 

[bmblank]

(Less Smoke, More Heat)
Dry Wood Is Hard To Beat. ​

Dang, man. That's good!

 

[eclecticcottage]

Dang, man. That's good!

Thanks, maybe I'll throw it on a shirt. Hubby will just love me, giving him more work (I create/design, he gets to upload and actually put it on the products in the shop-thank goodness-originally I did all of it myself-glad we have fulfilment companies).

 

[woodgeek]

And they could be sold in the Hearth.com online store!

 

[eclecticcottage]

Like this:

or this:

 

[semipro]

Like this:

or this:

now we're getting somewhere!

 

[eclecticcottage]

Here's contribution #2, along the lines of if the mud ain't flyin...

 

[billb3]

Got Wood ?
dendrophiliacs age sprucely

 

[stoveguy2esw]

"I don't often burn wood, but when I do , I prefer it dryer than "XX"


stay smokeless my friends

 

[Ashful]

"I don't often burn wood, but when I do , I prefer it dryer than "XX"

stay smokeless my friends

Excellent! ... except you do often burn wood.