Mom Fell, In Florida .....

[Dix]

Damn it.

We figured she was down for a day. Neighbor saw her Sunday paper wasn't picked up, and it's always picked up before his. he called the police.

They got in, and found her laying on the floor.

3 days into the hospital, and they are moving her to rehab, which is good.

She's got a huge knot on her head, no broken anything, and is now eating and walking.

Damn it.

Making plans. She's coming back up here. No ands, ifs or butts.

Damn it.

 

[Flatbedford]

Sorry to hear. Must have been awful for her. Hope she does well. Good luck.

 

[BrotherBart]

Get one of these. Inexpensive and reliable. Wife has the panic button on a string around her neck and if she pushes it then it dials my cell phone and gives me my recorded message.

(broken link removed to http://www.smarthome.com/73087/Skylink-AD-105-Dial-Alert-Emergency-Dialer/p.aspx)

 

[begreen]

I'm glad that there were no fractures. Mom had to move in with my sister when she started falling. There were definitely some scary moments and some bone breaks. But she was a stubborn and determined lady.

 

[fossil]

Good neighbor. Sure glad no broken bones. It's awful to think of her laying there helpless. Good to hear she's on the mend now.

 

[1kzwoman]

Sorry to hear that your Mom fell. Glad that she wasn't hurt to badly.

 

[Lake Girl]

Glad to hear your Mom has such good neighbors but sorry to hear that she fell. Time to check into alert systems if she is really resistant to moving but your response would be mine...

Have they figured out why she fell - tripped, slipped, medical reason?

 

[blades]

I can relate, My mom fell cracked tail bone, hospital for several days. Stepfather had incident same time, hospital stay( same hospital), then it got interesting as they administered a TB test to him in the ER( i have no idea why) and it came up positive- all hell broke loose at that point ( note: If you are on an aspirin regimen the standard TB test will show positive) they never ran the alternative test for positive conformation, county, state and local health depts all went ballistic on that single test, I had to sue all three and the hospital to get the alternative done. Highly condensed version of a long story. Oh and he never had TB.

 

[Jags]

Sorry to hear about this. It is a good thing that nothing is broken. Older folks heal at a much slower rate (generally). Do what ya gotta do, but don't be surprised if you get kick back from your mom - just sayin.

 

[Warm_in_NH]

My gram had one of those "I've fallen and can't get up" buttons. She lived with my mother. Mom gets up to use the bathroom in middle of night and hears gram calling for her from her bedroom. She had a stroke three hours earlier, didn't push the button case she didn't want to bother anyone!

She's since passed on and now mom is moving north In August (great time to move someone from FL) be with us kids. I keep telling her to be nice or I'll have her sent to the home early.

 

[Bobbin]

I took care of my frail mother for nearly 4 yrs.. I know how it feels to receive the call that something bad has happened. It's horrible. There are a lot of important decisions that will need to be made (proceed with caution). My sincerest wish for you is that your mother is mentally capable and willing to run through some possible solutions (when Mum had her buttons and could discuss things she refused to; when the buttons were lost it took 10 times more work to do what had to be done; it sucked). Under the best of circumstances this change in "things" is difficult. One foot in front of the other and put together a good plan.

I sincerely hope everything goes smoothly for you, Dixie.

 

[Dix]

She's settled in rehab. Very tired.

We've been talking about her moving for a while now, and she was agreeable to that. She's been cleaning out the house, donating to Goodwill, etc. to prepare. If need be, I can take a trip down with the truck & trailer, and get her loaded up & moved.

Figuring out how best to get her settled here, and which room is the best fit for her. That seems to be the den , where the PE is. It's one level, access to bath & kitchen.

She's pretty sharp. Of course this turn of events (which she is not happy about, trust me on this one..... the apple didn't fall far from the tree) just makes it more imperitive..

 

[begreen]

Could be the stress and fatigue of moving just wore her out, poor dear. Have they checked her for any signs of a TIA? It's good that you are bringing her home. Enjoy this time together. I hope she has many good years left.

 

[Dix]

Could be the stress and fatigue of moving just wore her out, poor dear. Have they checked her for any signs of a TIA? It's good that you are bringing her home. Enjoy this time together. I hope she has many good years left.

No signs of stroke, shes been poked and prodded, repeatedly, much to her dismay, chagrin, and frustration.general consensus is she tripped, be it over the tea cup sized dog, a throw rug (which have all been removed from the house) , or what ever else might have been around. My Uncle Vinny has access to the house, and he found a throw rug near the bathroom (where she was found) twisted and a mess. He first straightened it out, and then rethought, and pulled every rug off of the ceramic tiled floors,and stuck them in a closet.

Talked to her tonight, She was tired.

I'm copying my post from FB here. This is what she told me tonight

scarey is the train story she told me. Seems after she fell, a train pulled up, with bright lights, and she got on the train, with alot of people on it. When they got to the train station, everyone exited off of the back. When it was her turn to leave, they told her she had to get back on. and they took her back to her house.

 

[begreen]

Good to hear that. It could have been a simple fall. Her recollection is interesting. Sounds like she sensed folks were waiting for her at the home station. I'm glad your mom is recovering and can recall these details. The human mind is a fascinating thing. Though we have learned a lot, we still have no idea what consciousness is.

 

[Dix]

BG, you do not want to listen to her go on a diatribe about Dick Cheney & his wife.

She knows the deal, whole heartedly.

 

[Bobbin]

I'm glad to know your Mom is OK. Tired is good, now is the time introduce "options". I know you're tired, too!

If I could go back and change anything, Dixie, it would have been the time following my father's death when my brother and I could've "circled the wagons" and helped Mum put together a better "plan" for her remaining years. We were very unsure about how to approach the subject and all tentative forays were summarily and indignantly rebuffed. In hindsight, I see now that we were too passive. And years later we bore the brunt of the negligence.

The Good Man was aghast when I began beating the "WILL & ESTATE drum". Freaked right out, frankly. But watching what unfolded for Mum scared the hell out of me and I was a complete "dog with a bone" about the subject. I won, and now the GM is thankful.

Move carefully on this transition. Make the time to put all the options on the table and sift through them to find the combination that will best suit you both! You have time on your side, use it wisely! See an attorney skilled in "Elder law", as soon as your Mom is able; don't miss this opportunity I cannot stress this enough. Trust me.

I don't want to overwhelm you or frighten you. I learned a lot (the hard way) and if I can spare anyone some of the worry, anguish, heartache... well! I'm your girl!

 

[Lake Girl]

Concussion with the fall likely lead to that interesting story but brain also needed to explain why she could not move...

 

[begreen]

Good point Bobbin. So many folks avoid this conversation. Many years before my mom passed, but after heart surgery I sat her down and had the talk. Did the same with my wife's folks, but for them it was a bit late. How you approach one's approaching demise requires sensitivity and tact. I sat mom down and told her that I suspect that she may have a lot of things on her mind that are hard to talk about, like death, will, funeral, etc.. I let her know that I didn't expect this to happen for many years, but wanted to give her an opportunity to say what was on her mind without tip-toeing around the topic. She took a deep breath, then said thank you. We had a great talk and we covered a lot of topics. Actually the conversations went on for a couple days, she had several concerns and wishes. It gave her a lot of peace of mind knowing that someone was there to take care of final details when the time came. And it opened up a more frank, adult relation between us.

 

[Dix]

Thank you all, so very, very much.

I am very fortunate, in that everything is already pretty much in order. Everything. Dat's my Mom ! She made this issue her mission 3 year ago, and got it done.We talked about alot of things, and I got one helluvan education, myself.

Her comment "I'm doing it, because it needs to be done. And what pisses me off the most, is that I won't be here to see how it ends!!"

The only issue I had, was "where is the paper work?". Turns out, no one but Mom Knows. It's in the house some where. I don't even know the attorneys name. Ya bet yer bippy this is soon to be rectified. We can't do it the way she wants it if we don't have the ammo.

Her wishes have been made extremely clear to both my brother & I. My brother is an ass, and always will be. But, he also knows I WILL come through the phone and cut his heart out with a spoon.

 

[begreen]

My mom thought she had it all covered too. Her will was just a collection of personal notes. Her insurance policy turned out to be travel insurance that was long ago expired. I got it straightened out, but it was clear as mud to start. And yes there was some sibling muck to go through before it was all done.

 

[BrotherBart]

Been working on that stuff for us after the last three years experiences with in-laws and outlaws. Makes my wife crazy that I am planning on getting incapacitated and dead. Told her I am open to suggestions as to how avoid it happening and I will work on that instead.

Advice: If you are ever asked to be the trustee for in-laws in second marriages, with assorted kids from said marriages, that walk off the mental and health cliff, RUN! Far away.

 

[Lake Girl]

Better you have control than finding out the second in-laws kids wiped out all the cash holdings (RRSP + savings)... lucky he had a health pension from work.

 

[gzecc]

Unfortunately things sometimes have to get worse for people to make a significant life change. My father seemed to be on his death bed in NY (at 100yrs old) then said its now time to go to California to move in with my brother. He is now there at 101. I could go on and on.
He was also on the bathroom floor for at least a day.

 

[firefighterjake]

I'm only 43 and have a will ... truth is lots of people don't always die when they expect to ... not all of us will live to our 80s or 90s ... death happens.