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Flinging well deserved poop on a neighbor's porch can be quite rewarding.

Last place I had this opportunity, the neighbor's deck was close enough to fling the bombs with a shovel all the way from yard to the deck easily. They never said anything, and it never totally fixed the problem. They prob thought the dog got lazy and just started chitting on the deck.

Hmmmm, neighbors....glad that problem's a thing of the past.
Ditto, on all of that... always fun to watch them have to clean it off their shoe, when my aim was good enough to land the turds on their stoop!
 
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we've hit a bit of snag. they're asking for a fairly sizeable (for us) downpayment. i entered this process b/c i thought a downpayment wasn't nec., but they are zeroing in on my wife's 401(k) which, to me, is no touchy. i know you can normally take out a loan on the 401(k), but she is no longer employed with the original company and the plan administrator doesn't do loans. so, we're stuck here. this was in the eligibility cert. but i assumed 'no down payment' so it was something they rolled into the final loan (oops). well, we're not purchasing a house if her 401(k) has to be withdrawn -- that's stupid in my opinion. the lady at the USDA didn't really give us other options except to come up with the money. so, i'm a bit confused, a bit perturbed. they have all of our financial info down to about the penny and know we don't have that money sitting in the bank. and on top of that, every single thing i've read says, 'no down payment'. there is a rule stating you must use excess of $15k in 'non-retirement assets' toward the purchase and the Underwriting and Loan Closing Documentation Matrix (whatever that is) states under 'Verification of Income: Household Assets' the following:

"Section 1980.347(d)(3)(iii) requires net family assets with a cumulative total of $5,000 or greater to be considered in the annual income calculation. The greater of the actual income derived from all net family assets or a percentage of the value of such assets based on the current passbook savings rate must be considered when calculating annual income. Verification documents must coincide with the type of asset identified for income purposes. Section 1980.302(a) defines net family assets as the value of equity in real property, savings, IRA’s, demand deposits, the market value of stocks, bonds, other forms of capital investments and business or household assets disposed of for less than fair market value for two years preceding the date of loan application (disposition of a trust considered but not inclusion in a foreclosure or bankruptcy). 401k’s are not considered in net family assets."

maybe i'm richer in $$$ than i thought :oops: or they want me to sell my cars, cats, furniture, and clothes? i'm confused.
 
we've hit a bit of snag. they're asking for a fairly sizeable (for us) downpayment. i entered this process b/c i thought a downpayment wasn't nec., but they are zeroing in on my wife's 401(k) which, to me, is no touchy. i know you can normally take out a loan on the 401(k), but she is no longer employed with the original company and the plan administrator doesn't do loans. so, we're stuck here. this was in the eligibility cert. but i assumed 'no down payment' so it was something they rolled into the final loan (oops). well, we're not purchasing a house if her 401(k) has to be withdrawn -- that's stupid in my opinion. the lady at the USDA didn't really give us other options except to come up with the money. so, i'm a bit confused, a bit perturbed. they have all of our financial info down to about the penny and know we don't have that money sitting in the bank. and on top of that, every single thing i've read says, 'no down payment'. there is a rule stating you must use excess of $15k in 'non-retirement assets' toward the purchase and the Underwriting and Loan Closing Documentation Matrix (whatever that is) states under 'Verification of Income: Household Assets' the following:

"Section 1980.347(d)(3)(iii) requires net family assets with a cumulative total of $5,000 or greater to be considered in the annual income calculation. The greater of the actual income derived from all net family assets or a percentage of the value of such assets based on the current passbook savings rate must be considered when calculating annual income. Verification documents must coincide with the type of asset identified for income purposes. Section 1980.302(a) defines net family assets as the value of equity in real property, savings, IRA’s, demand deposits, the market value of stocks, bonds, other forms of capital investments and business or household assets disposed of for less than fair market value for two years preceding the date of loan application (disposition of a trust considered but not inclusion in a foreclosure or bankruptcy). 401k’s are not considered in net family assets."

maybe i'm richer in $$$ than i thought :oops: or they want me to sell my cars, cats, furniture, and clothes? i'm confused.

Maybe an inquiry from your local Congressman to the agency involved pointing out that 401k assets are not to be considered net family assets might do the trick.

Are you 100% sure this has nothing to do with your driving record??? :)
 
Bummer! Did you print out the text in bold and share this with the lady at the USDA?
 
ha! all those dings on my driving record must have done it!

no, haven't pointed it out b/c i just found that tonight. that's a great idea, though!
 
ok, so ends this route to home ownership! they do indeed want us to cash in my wife's 401k and that's the down payment they calculated for us (with penalties, taxes, ect). still, no one can point out where it states that this enters into the decision. when i pointed out that there is zero documentation regarding 401k's, i was ignored. not gonna push it any more as i take this as a sign; we live in this state b/c we have to (wife has to finish her MA), so the fewer anchors we have, the better when it comes time to take off. crappy way to see things, but we try and try to live reasonably in this grossly expensive state and continue to find ourselves in that gray zone that makes no progress. gonna sign another lease and start looking for wood stoves. neighbor can go f**k herself.

:)
 
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