The 10 "commandments" of woodburning

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ansehnlich1

ansehnlich1

Minister of Fire
Hearth Supporter
Dec 5, 2006
1,601
Adams County, PA
Ok, I in no way wish to denigrate any religion in any way shape or form.

I just read a thread about shop vac fire, and VOILA, the idea came to me that we should establish the 10 commandments of woodburning, haha!

And don't think for a minute that I didn't realize with the raucous bunch on here that the "10" could very easily be exceeded :)

1. Thou shalt not utilize shopvac to clean woodstove ash
2. Thou shalt not burn wet/unseasoned wood
3. Thou shalt not leave the ash door open
4. Thou shalt burn no other fuel besides wood
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
6. Thou shalt not lie about burntimes
7. Thou shalt clean thy chimney regularly
8. Thou shalt not argue whether to cover or not cover thy wood stacks
9. Thou shalt gaze upon and admire thy wood daily
10. Thou shalt not brag incessantly about the quantity of wood thou hast :)
 
I will eventually separate from the following and form my own group that doesn't allow the choice of pine.
 
I can resist anything but temptation.
 
Dirtgrain said:
And when all else fails, then lobbest thou the Holy Handgrenade of Antioch and run away.
Click to expand...

1, 2, 5!

Three, sir!

3!

*lobs*
 
ansehnlich1 said:
Ok, I in no way wish to denigrate any religion in any way shape or form.

I just read a thread about shop vac fire, and VOILA, the idea came to me that we should establish the 10 commandments of woodburning, haha!

And don't think for a minute that I didn't realize with the raucous bunch on here that the "10" could very easily be exceeded :)

1. Thou shalt not utilize shopvac to clean woodstove ash
2. Thou shalt not burn wet/unseasoned wood
3. Thou shalt not leave the ash door open
4. Thou shalt burn no other fuel besides wood
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
6. Thou shalt not lie about burntimes
7. Thou shalt clean thy chimney regularly
8. Thou shalt not argue whether to cover or not cover thy wood stacks
9. Thou shalt gaze upon and admire thy wood daily
10. Thou shalt not brag incessantly about the quantity of wood thou hast :)
Click to expand...

You forgot : thou shalt not buy "seasoned" wood and expect to burn it that year.
 
ansehnlich1 said:
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
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It's not so much the wood that I covet but rather the FEL. With a FEL I could get my own wood. I keep thinking of the Joplin song, "Oh Lord won't you buy me a...".
 
Aw man, I feel for ya Lig, on the FEL. Luckily I have one parked in a shed just a hundred yards away, it ain't mine, but I can use it anytime. Wish I could get one to ya, cuz I KNOW how sweet it is to not have to trudge through snow to the woodpile.

We had 16 inches here the other night and I'm a lucky burner, cuz I have a cord and a half on the back porch, haven't even thought of getting out to the pile.....but with the 4wd ford, and the loader, I could just drive right over there, load up, and head for the back porch.....
 
Thou shall test the wood for moisture BEFORE they take it off the truck!
 
Yegads, someone is hearing commandments out of the burning Oslo now. And here I've broken at least 2 of them. As for #9, you'll have to speak to SWMBO.
 
BeGreen said:
Yegads, someone is hearing commandments out of the burning Oslo now. And here I've broken at least 2 of them. As for #9, you'll have to speak to SWMBO.
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yaya, like the "burning bush" thing eh?

here in the outback of south PA, when it's 12 degrees, and the wind is howling through the trees in the dark of night, one can hear the faint whisper of the oslogods, hammering out the commandments on a slab of oak!
 
Thou shalt not split wood in the horizontal position. (That should get some comments!)
 
Marty S said:
Backwoods Savage said:
Thou shalt not split wood in the horizontal position. (That should get some comments!)
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Tiger (aka "Lion") Woods does it...

Aye,
Marty
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Grandma says "At least this one wasn't in government.".
 
great post.. thanks for the laughs!
 
ansehnlich1 said:
1. Thou shalt not utilize shopvac to clean woodstove ash
2. Thou shalt not burn wet/unseasoned wood
3. Thou shalt not leave the ash door open
4. Thou shalt burn no other fuel besides wood
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
6. Thou shalt not lie about burntimes
7. Thou shalt clean thy chimney regularly
8. Thou shalt not argue whether to cover or not cover thy wood stacks
9. Thou shalt gaze upon and admire thy wood daily
10. Thou shalt not brag incessantly about the quantity of wood thou hast :)
Click to expand...

How about:

11. Thou shalt know the dimensions of their firebox (18") before they cut 10 cords of wood (at 20").
 
mbcijim said:
How about:

11. Thou shalt know the dimensions of their firebox (18") before they cut 10 cords of wood (at 20").
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Oh boy, that right there could be a candidate for THE #1 commandment.....

I gotta tell ya, I had a good laugh at this one, knowing the frustration I would of had, sheesh, it woulda taken me a month or so of throwin' and kickin' stuff around the house to work off that anger..... >:(
 
mbcijim said:
ansehnlich1 said:
1. Thou shalt not utilize shopvac to clean woodstove ash
2. Thou shalt not burn wet/unseasoned wood
3. Thou shalt not leave the ash door open
4. Thou shalt burn no other fuel besides wood
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
6. Thou shalt not lie about burntimes
7. Thou shalt clean thy chimney regularly
8. Thou shalt not argue whether to cover or not cover thy wood stacks
9. Thou shalt gaze upon and admire thy wood daily
10. Thou shalt not brag incessantly about the quantity of wood thou hast :)
Click to expand...

How about:

11. Thou shalt know the dimensions of their firebox (18") before they cut 10 cords of wood (at 20").
Click to expand...

Now that's funny!

12.Never admit (in front of the ladies) that thy neighbor has better wood than thou..
 
Bigg_Redd said:
ansehnlich1 said:
Ok, I in no way wish to denigrate any religion in any way shape or form.

I just read a thread about shop vac fire, and VOILA, the idea came to me that we should establish the 10 commandments of woodburning, haha!

And don't think for a minute that I didn't realize with the raucous bunch on here that the "10" could very easily be exceeded :)

1. Thou shalt not utilize shopvac to clean woodstove ash
2. Thou shalt not burn wet/unseasoned wood
3. Thou shalt not leave the ash door open
4. Thou shalt burn no other fuel besides wood
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
6. Thou shalt not lie about burntimes
7. Thou shalt clean thy chimney regularly
8. Thou shalt not argue whether to cover or not cover thy wood stacks
9. Thou shalt gaze upon and admire thy wood daily
10. Thou shalt not brag incessantly about the quantity of wood thou hast :)
Click to expand...

You forgot : thou shalt not buy "seasoned" wood and expect to burn it that year.
Click to expand...

Came up with a few to add to your fine list:

Thou shalt not dump hot ashes/coals on your compost piles or your neighbor's compost piles.

Thou shalt dump your hot ashes/coals in a metal bucket and store on non flammable surface as far away from anything flammable as is reasonable.

Thou shalt then let your ashes/coals get absolutely cold and then you may do anything you would like to do with them.....within reason and being a conscientious of thy neighbors.
 
LLigetfa said:
ansehnlich1 said:
5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wood
Click to expand...
It's not so much the wood that I covet but rather the FEL. With a FEL I could get my own wood. I keep thinking of the Joplin song, "Oh Lord won't you buy me a...".
Click to expand...

The only reason thou doesn't covet thy neighbor's wood is that thou has more wood on hand than anybody within at least a days driving distance. :lol:
 
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