You're not leaving that there...

CountryBoy19 Posted By CountryBoy19, Aug 25, 2010 at 10:49 AM

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. PapaDave

    Minister of Fire 2.

    Feb 23, 2008
    Northern MI - in the mitten
    The woodshed is in the FRONT yard. Right in front of the stove room, 20 ft. away. It's somewhat shielded from road view, but can be seen quite easily.
    That happens to be the absolute best place for the finished (dry) firewood, so that's where it's going. I would have to "die on that hill" before putting it anywhere else, because it wouldn't make sense to put it some other place. If I could have put it closer, I would have, just to make it easier to get splits to the house in the dead of winter when there's over a foot of snow on the ground and it's 5 deg. outside.
    I have a pretty nice yard. It's not manicured like some, but nice. The woodshed is a nicer accent than the 16 stacks I've had sitting there for the past 4 years, which took up MUCH more space. Form and function in balance.
    Maybe I should ask what color she'd like it to be.
  2. CountryBoy19

    Minister of Fire 2.

    Jul 29, 2010
    Southern IN
    Sorry for the delayed response. It was a busy weekend so I didn't get a chance to get on much.

    We're newly-weds (married in May) but we've known eachother for about 10 years now and dated for about 6 before getting married. We know each other well and we know what makes each other "tick".

    I think the root of the problem is just that she doesn't communicate very well; she has been trying to work on her communication but it's a slow process.

    Take that in addition to her moving in with me, which is 3 hours from her where she lived with her parents, she has no close family/friends around here to vent on etc. She is out of her comfort zone a little bit, and we're still in that process of figuring out how responsibilities will be shared in the household.

    Funny that you mention the cooking thing. I also prefer to cook, and do so about 80% of the time. And our agreement has always been that the person that cooks doesn't have to clean up.

    But occasionally I'll have my hands too full and can't handle it all in the kitchen, and I'll ask her for just a couple minutes of help. She instantly thinks that gets her off the hook for cleanup. I obviously expect her to still clean up (I'll still offer some help because she helped me).

    I ultimately think the problem is that she doesn't fully respect just how much work I do at work and when I get home. She has allergies so I do all the outside work, I work 10 hours a day and make 80% of our household income. Yet she barks orders at me from her seat in front of the computer (facebook) the instant I walk through the door. Her excuse is that I have a desk job so I should have plenty of energy to burn when I get home from work.

    It's just going to take time to work things out and for her to realize things... I'm patient.

    But she did get a new job, related to her major and her passion and she started today, so maybe as time goes on she'll just "grow accustomed" to the woodpile where it is for now. At least for now I think she is ok with it until I get the rest of the wood split and stacked in the field and I get the fireplace installed.
  3. tickbitty

    Minister of Fire 2.

    Feb 21, 2008
    This is not a real comment on the poster's plight, I think other folks have all given this a lot of thought and posted good answers. I did need to fix cptoneleg's verse for the John Prine song Dear Abby though. Cause it was such a good idea!

    Dear Abby dear Abby
    Im henpecked as Hell.
    My wife makes me stack wood, then move it, as well
    I cain't seem to please her, - please settle this fight,
    'cause she thinks she's perfect, and always is right.

    Signed, Woodmover

    Woodmover, Woodmover
    You have no complaint
    You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
    So listen up Buster, and listen up good
    Stop moanin' about it and stack up that wood!
  4. Danno77

    Minister of Fire 2.

    Oct 27, 2008
    Hamilton, IL
    ahhh, newlyweds. that explains a little. Really getting into a grove with chores takes SOME people a while to get used to. There will always be some misunderstanding about who's got it easier, and sometimes a gentle reminder is needed from both parties to assure that there are things being done in the background that are often forgotten. My wife might ask me when the last time I unloaded the dishwasher was, and I'll ask her when the last time she fed the dog. we all have chores, and sometimes we get sick of our chores and feel under-appreciated. My wife has just recently started to appreciate all the work I do with firewood, but there are still times in the fall where I work two or three weekends from dawn till dusk and she starts in about how I need to do something to HELP around the house, instead of PLAYING outside. I just promise to help some more and then remember to complain about all the hard work outside so she remembers that it's not like I'm out there playing basketball. Like many here, it isn't work, it is enjoyable, but that doesn't make it easy, and it doesn't make it less than NECESSARY for survival for some of us. I think the fact that we enjoy it so much is why it's easy for some of our spouses to forget that it is hard work.

    It will all come in time. appreciate her hard work a little more, and she'll notice some of yours. If she still seems slow to recognize your work then make sure to drop a couple of comments here and there about your neck being sore from splitting so much, or a comment on how your legs and back are a little sore from all the lifting. ask her where the bandaids are for your injuries, even though you know darn well where they are stored. Tell her that all you need are new work gloves for your birthday, because, "darnit, I work so hard out there they seem to wear through in a week".

    Until then, learn the phrase "yes, dear"
  5. fossil

    Accidental Moderator 2.
    Staff Member

    Sep 30, 2007
    Bend, OR
    I've learned, over the past 20-odd years, that simply saying, "Yes dear." doesn't always quite cut it. I try to drive the point home and remove any traces of ambiguity by expanding that to, "Yes dear, you're right, I'm sorry, and I love you." Rick
  6. Snag

    New Member 2.

    Oct 12, 2009
    South Central PA
    The only way I'd move it at this point is if she went out and laid down in the yard exactly where she wanted you to stack it and then held realllllllly still until you got the first coupla courses done.

    Seriously, it sounds like there's more going on that spiders and wood piles and I tend to think moving the wood pile to resolve this one conflict is only going to create bigger problems down the road. Take the opportunity to work through this now with mutual respect when the stakes arn't so very high for either of you. Don't create a .... custom... of behavior where she behaves badly and still gets her way because one of these days the issue is going to be something you simply can't re-do or one that means so much to you that you simply WON'T re-do it... and then what will you do? She's going to expect you to give way and your going to be all that more stubborn for having given way before.... that day won't be a happy one for either of you. jmo as a wife for a goodly number of years.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page