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Am I unreasonable?

Post in 'The Wood Shed' started by krex1010, Oct 26, 2011.

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  1. Got Wood

    Got Wood Minister of Fire

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    That sums it up nicely.

    My first instinct was similar to all the "no F'ing way" posts but there will be relationships effected and that should be considered.

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  2. weatherguy

    weatherguy Minister of Fire

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    She just doesnt understand what goes into processing and surely doesnt understand the seasoning process, someone should explain it to her so she sees your side of the story and not the Prince's.
  3. sebring

    sebring Member

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    Give him the wettest wood you can scrounge up... He will never ask for wood again
  4. Gasifier

    Gasifier Minister of Fire

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    I like this idea. Good compromise fireview. Keep the relatioinship good, make him earn his keep and he still benefits very well by getting seasoned wood. If he ask for more than that, don't give it to him. He needs to earn it. You are already giving him a deal by turning him onto your wood supplier.
  5. daveswoodhauler

    daveswoodhauler Minister of Fire

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    This is my vote too.....I let the Mrs's talk to her mom and I stay out of it, lol.
    I'd have your tree guy drop them off at your place, and offer for your BIL to come over and cut/split process....if he doesn't show, the logs are yours.
  6. red oak

    red oak Minister of Fire

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    It's nice of your MIL to be so generous with YOUR stuff!
  7. Hass

    Hass Minister of Fire

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    Obviously you are being incredibly childish, and selfish.

    You should give him a cord immediately... You should also take it over there and stack it for him. Maybe even load up his stove before you leave too.
    Then, you should have your MIL c/s/s as much wood as required to replace what you delivered to him.
    But don't be a total prick about it... at least offer her a drink or something when she's over cutting it using all of her own saws/axes/splitter. Your equipment has already taken the wear and tear on the load you delivered to your brother in law!


    But in reality...
    What kind of wood do you end up getting in your area? If it were me, and you get a ton of Ash or something similar delivered... I'd give up a cord of your next years wood to the BIL provided he c/s/s to replace whatever he takes. If that makes any sense. That way you don't lose any wood, he does all the work, and the wood will still be seasoned in time for next year. but if he actually really is terribly lazy, I'd just tell him tough beans. I may not even share wood that I get, since he's doing absolutely nothing for it and can take it as he pleases.

    and also I bet you and your MIL get along just wonderfully.
  8. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    Implement the ignore strategy. Go on as if that stupid request was never asked. If it's brought up again, politely change the conversation. If they call you on changing the topic, very clearly and distinctly w/out emotion explain that it is your wood, you have plans for it, he is a grown man, and must be able to take care of his own needs or has another plan since he turned you down on repeated offers for sharing wood over the summer. Then go back to the conversation you tried to change it to.

    pen
  9. smokinj

    smokinj Minister of Fire

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    I like it...Reminds me of a good friend. He first reaction to everything is What if I did Nothing. Then works from there.
  10. ssupercoolss

    ssupercoolss Member

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    if you have any wood you wanna drop off at my house, i like it stacked in the back behind my shed.

    probably not.

    tell the MIL to start knitting sweaters for the son, or teach her how to use a saw.
  11. Jaugust124

    Jaugust124 Feeling the Heat

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    You mentioned that your bil is a good guy. I can see helping out a good guy... to a point. My question is, what has your bil done for you/the family? When he decided not to accompany you on scrounges was he doing other things that were family related and just as important? Like taking care of the kids/providing in some way for the family, or was he just being completely lazy? Has the guy come over in the past to help put a new roof on your house, or build a deck, or help you in some other way? If not, I'd say he's on his own. To get a little you have to give a little. I don't have sympathy for laziness.
  12. Regency139

    Regency139 Member

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    I don't think your unreasonable at all. I remember a sign that the secretary at my high school had on her desk and its stuck to me to this day. "The lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine". Like others have said if he was hard up I wouln't hesitate to help out but since it's pure laziness or the lack of foresight I would think twice.

    One of the things I thought of when I read your post was the story of the Ant and the Grasshopper. Below is Disney's interpretation.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM1DgihKHVI
  13. Ken S

    Ken S New Member

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    My mother in law is also very generous with other peoples resources.Next time your mother in law says something about it tell her you are going out saturday on a scrounge and she can come along and help and her share of the wood can go the the brother in law.Typical liberal they want someone else to receive the benefit of your hard work but seem to think it is different when it is there work required to give to someone else
  14. Jack768

    Jack768 Member

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    Ha! Although, if you give him some limited amount of seasoned wood, he might (unlike, sadly, OWS) learn something. One can lecture about the benefits of seasoned wood, or demonstrate vividly why it works better.
  15. Kenster

    Kenster Minister of Fire

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    These extra details help a lot. Keep your own wood and help BIL get started cutting his own. If you arrange for a drop at his house, and maybe even offer to help him it should please his Mom. In the process, try again to educate him on getting his wood c/s/s well ahead of time and even getting a year or two ahead. Once he starts burning good wood, he'll understand and maybe this won't be a yearly drama.

    God Bless all of you who have problem mothers-in-law. Mine was a living saint. I'd be hard pressed to say who loved me more: my own mom or my mom-in-law. She's been gone for almost 15 years now, dying way too young at 72. Still miss her.
  16. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    Good advice.

    Sounds like MIL is well intentioned in that she wants her boy to have good stuff to burn, but is lacking in realizing that her daughter is set because of a good husband. Helping one may hurt the other and that is not fair.

    pen
  17. smokinj

    smokinj Minister of Fire

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    Well throwing this in late I can see why the mil says you should deliver it and stack it for him......bil should not have to lift a finger with the late entry! Just saying its drama thing. Its a penalty shot at this point. ;-P
  18. woodmiser

    woodmiser New Member

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    If I ever get diagnosed with an illness and the doc says I only have 6 months, I'm moving in with my mother in law. Those 6 months will seem like forever.
  19. pen

    pen There are some who call me...mod. Staff Member

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    This proves we need a LOL button as well as a +1 button.

    pen
  20. Wallace

    Wallace New Member

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    I had a similar situation last month. My BIL is a fair weather hunter. We both drew an excellent bull elk tag in the same unit. I did all the scouting and setting up a huge camp. I shot my muzzle loader all summer, he shot his on 2 occasions. I informed him that since this was a huge tag that I would not babysit him. I killed on the second day while he pissed and moaned about not seeing elk. So I finally took him out and he missed a GIANT at sixty yds! Poetic justice! I ended up getting him a shot at a small bull, then ended up gutting and quartering him(the elk). Moral of the story is, he is family and family comes first. Have him come over and help you cut and stack a cord, in return for giving him a cord. I always like it when my sister tells my BIL to "better call Craig" when any hunting or gun buying questions come up. Just pisses him off:)
  21. Thistle

    Thistle Minister of Fire

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:
  22. WoodNStuff

    WoodNStuff Minister of Fire

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    Sounds like your wife is on your side, which is exactly what is needed for a good marriage. I'd kindly tell MIL that you offered many, many, many times to include your brother-in-law in the wood acquisitions and he declined, thus living with his decision by not having the wood to burn come winter time. As was alluded to earlier, there are countless fables dealing with this very issue. I like the adage "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today." Your BIL did not do the work "today" so to speak so "tomorrow" (meaning now) has come.

    Now, he is your BIL and presumably will be for the indefinite, until death do us part, future, so I would keep the peace but not through enabling him like MIL would have you do. If he wants to work, give him work.
  23. CTYank

    CTYank Minister of Fire

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    Seriously, who ever said that the Koch Bros. ever worked for any of their billions (fruit of daddy's inheritance)? Get it "fair and balanced" eh.

    If MIL persisted in specifying all aspects of this freebie for her darling son, I'd point her to that stack of logs over there, tell her where she could get a good buy on tools (chainsaw/splitting tools/etc) and tell her that she could knock herself out working on it anytime between 9AM and 6PM. Then haul the splits to Sonny in her Golf. And, be sure to clean up after. Tell her she should get a move on if he's going to burn it this year; maybe Sonny could help.

    Do all of this in earshot of your SO with a smile, with theme "how to finish what you started."

    Would that constitute an "epiphany" or a "religious experience"?
  24. jimbom

    jimbom Combustion Analyzer

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    :) Gotta remember that one.
  25. jimbom

    jimbom Combustion Analyzer

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    Religious experience. As in, "KREX1010 reporting, St Peter, sir." St Peter looking in the book, "Son I don't have you scheduled for today. What happened." "Well sir, I am not sure. I was talking with my MIL with a smile on my face...."
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