Am I unreasonable?

krex1010 Posted By krex1010, Oct 26, 2011 at 8:54 PM

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  1. Stubborn Dutchman

    Jan 11, 2010
    Northern Lower Michigan
    I'm glad the wife is on your side! I'd be a little leery of having my woodguy drop off the next load at the BIL's place. I know it would be easier but would sure hate to screw up such a valuable source. You never know what could happen during the encounter.
  2. Battenkiller

    Minister of Fire

    Nov 26, 2009
    Just Outside the Blue Line
    Best advice to a MIL I've heard to date! :lol:
  3. Backwoods Savage

    Backwoods Savage
    Minister of Fire

    Feb 14, 2007
    I've helped out a lot of folks and even done some 2-3 times. However, some of the folks I helped wanted more the next year and it turned out they were just plain lazy. With that, they get no more help from me. Not getting wood ahead of time shows lazy most of the time. I say let him get his own wood.
  4. onetracker

    Minister of Fire

    Aug 11, 2011
    rondout valley ny
    don't even respond
    change the subject
    you offered to help him, he declined.
    don't even discuss firewood with him anymore.
  5. ansehnlich1

    Minister of Fire

    Dec 5, 2006
    Adams County, PA
    Why's wood so different from other heating fuel? or cash?

    Why not just give him $400 dollars so he can buy 2 cord of wood?

    Or, why not pay 4 or 5 hundred dollars for fuel oil for him, heck, just pump the oil out of your tank into his :)

    Come to think of it, with my sense of humor, and seeing how this whole thing would pizz me off pretty good, I just might pay $600 to have my wood man drop a triaxle load in the bil's driveway ;-P
  6. weatherguy

    Minister of Fire

    Feb 20, 2009
    Central Mass
    And while hes at it, might as well do his grocery shopping and cook him a nice big dinner :cheese:
  7. firefighterjake

    Minister of Fire

    Jul 22, 2008
    Unity/Bangor, Maine
    I don't blame you . . . folks who don't process their own wood have no clue of the time, effort, time, money and time spent to process firewood . . . I know I'm ahead at least two years . . . but even now I would be reluctant to sell -- much less give away much of my wood . . . it's how I heat my home . . .

    It's one thing to help a friend or family member out by working with them to get the wood in or process the wood . . . it's quite another to just hand over the fruits of your hard-earned labor after he has done little to nothing to help himself . . . especially when you are trying to get ahead a year so you can have good wood and/or in case you cannot get the wood next year due to illness, injury, etc.

    If the mother-in-law is truly concerned she can go out with him to gather up wood . . . or pony up some money so he can buy wood and then realize just how much wood costs -- in either time or money.
  8. firefighterjake

    Minister of Fire

    Jul 22, 2008
    Unity/Bangor, Maine
    Not just a liberal frame of thought . . . my cousin asked me if I would want to buck up the firewood last month for this coming winter since I "like working with wood so much" . . . of course this wood has been sitting log-length for the past two years . . . apparently my cousin's husband was always too busy watching a football game, baseball game, basketball game, ping pong tournament, going to a lodge meeting or going to the Republican County meetings.

    Needless to say I declined . . . and last I knew my cousin was working on processing the wood . . . I'm still not sure if her husband cut up the wood or if they were able to con my uncle into doing the work.
  9. CodyWayne718

    Feeling the Heat

    Dec 11, 2009
    I wouldn't give him any.
  10. Nater


    Jan 3, 2011
    Southern Maine
    I would do a mix of the responses here. I would tell your BIL and MIL that you are actually short on wood, because it needs to be c/s/s for a few years before burning. Tell him that you can get some wood, and offer to help him c/s/s it. Or give him some of your dry wood if you can manage, and he helps replace what he took. If that still didn't work, I would tell them that since they are family, you want to help them out and offer to give him CASH to buy some wood. Around here, a cord of dry wood is about $300. You said that he made good money, so it would probably make him feel uncomfortable and wouldn't take you up on the offer. Then maybe your MIL and BIL will see the value of the wood they are trying to give away for free.
  11. RHH1974

    New Member

    Oct 16, 2011
    Ulster County NY
    I had some hard feelings from my sister and brother in law as well as a few neighbors who wanted wood from my stack for their outside fireplaces this summer. I asked them if they would have the nerve to want to siphon oil out of my tank and they thought I was being an idiot. People who don't work hard to plan ahead have a hard time seeing the value of it.
  12. BrotherBart

    BrotherBart LLC Mid-Atlantic Division
    Staff Member

    Nov 18, 2005
    Northern Virginia
    The practical question needs to be asked. What does your wife stand to inherit? What do you lose if the will gets changed.? :smirk:
  13. Bigg_Redd

    Minister of Fire

    Oct 19, 2008
    Shelton, WA
    Quit being so weak. It's YOUR wood. Tell your MIL to eff the eff off.

    My sister and BIL are poor and lazy. I told him any time he finds a score of wood I'll help him cut and haul it (my saw, my truck, ect). So far he has called me zero times in 5 years. But I will not share my scores and I definitely will not open my woodshed - they have never asked. Presumably because they already know the answer.
  14. Bspring

    Feeling the Heat

    Aug 3, 2007
    Greenville, SC
  15. bogydave

    Minister of Fire

    Dec 4, 2009
    So Cent ALASKA
    Leave it to BB to put it all into the proper perspective!
    A total "risk assessment" is required.
  16. btuser

    Minister of Fire

    Jan 15, 2009
    Principality of Pontinha
    Could be considered a lossed leader.

    I know I'm late to the thread but I wouldn't give him a damn thing. And anyone who's ever cut/stacked a cord of wood would never expect you to do so.
  17. mywaynow

    Minister of Fire

    Dec 13, 2010
    Remember that whatever you do now, you will be expected to do next year. How many times do you want to support your BIL's lack of planning and effort? I don't want to sell my stuff, let alone give it away. I am all for helping family, but not for being used by them.
  18. krex1010

    Minister of Fire

    Jan 3, 2010
    southeast pa
    Thanks for all the replies everyone, I appreciate the input. My big issue is not with my bil, we do have a relationship where we help each other out, he isn't lazy but he just doesn't really understand or care much about getting ahead with his firewood ( not even his annual chimney fire will make him take it seriously) anyway I really have absolutely no problem letting him have a load or two of the logs my buddy drops of, the last few years I've given him a couple each year, no biggie, I'm happy to share with family and friends. My issue was with my mil who just expected me to give her son a helping of my firewood, not happening, logs I'll share with him, once my saw touches a log then that wood is going in my stack. My bil never asked for my split wood, just asked if I could get him logs. I have decided to completely ignore my mil on this issue, when she brought it up the other day I just said I would help him get wood, not my wood, but wood. End of story. Thanks for all the advice.
  19. billjustbill


    Dec 26, 2008
    In tight times, or major unexpected bills, I can see helping even people who live for themselves or to impress others.... Yet, our economy is where it is because of people a lot like him....

    Chances are your BILaw is the way he is because of MILaw's lifelong rescues... So, you're having to address the problem on two fronts.... Plus, she's learned that when she's at the bottom of her coin purse, she'll shop around to find "Puppets" to do her will, which only reinforces her rescue and control issues.... I'd bet that your BILaw has money for a vacation, a cruise, some of the latest electronics, and hours of free time sitting in front of his HDTV watching sports as well as many other things that those costs and wasted hours could easily be put toward him getting his own seasoned wood.

    Yearly "Re-educationing" him and his mama by showing what you do with your time compared your BILaw does with his may be like getting each year's "Flu Shot". It's dealing with a painful little PRICK and something you have to do to protect yourself each year as the germs and excuses change.... :)
    It appears this thread was ended with the last fellow's comments... Somehow he either miss the real point of my posting or he may just be the OP's Brother In Law.... LOL. People, AKA bankers or BIL's, need to pull their weight and not get away with getting something for nothing. "Poo" or not, we are probably on the same page.
  20. HeatsTwice

    Minister of Fire

    Jan 7, 2008
    Santa Rosa, California
    I find that if I barter away wood for things my wife won't let me have, I can blame it on the guy who gives it to me if I get caught. Then the tables are turned. Both my wife and my MIL will be against him for contributing to my delinquency and I get what I want.

    Just considering all the angles. There is no forward or reverse opportunity which can not be taken advantage of.
  21. CTYank

    Minister of Fire

    Sep 28, 2010
    SW CT
    Your assertion is purely poo, and any economist could square you away in minutes. Your statement: not intended to be factual?

    Hint: research casino-style banks, mortgage securitization gone rogue, and securities snake-oil salesmen. Pursue the perps; see "Occupy" and NY and DE AGs.
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